No other explanation would come.
We were stuck.
Going home meant waiting it out until someone planted a car bomb or tried to shoot me in the head. I’d always been the type of girl to face danger head-on. I didn’t like hiding, and I wasn’t about to now.
A text alert went off. I picked up my phone, but it wasn’t mine that had gone off. Not thinking, I walked over to the opposite nightstand where Chase’s phone was. I clicked on it and was given the privilege of seeing the last three text messages.
All from Nixon.
Each one making me sicker than the last as I read.
“Ask her about her scars?” I repeated out loud. “Get her to trust you?” Shaking, I read the last one. “Chase, do whatever it takes, and I do mean whatever it takes.”
I dropped the phone onto the bed and barely made it to the trashcan before I threw up the strawberries Chase had just hand-fed me. It was as if they’d gone sour in my stomach. I tried to keep the hot tears from pouring down my cheeks. But they came anyway, mixing with my spit and falling into the trashcan, mocking me with every salty drop that fell from my face.
“Bastard!” I clenched my fists, unable to keep my body from trembling as I knelt onto the floor, feeling absolutely broken and betrayed.
The man that promised to save me.
Had done the exact opposite.
He’d used me.
And broken me in the process.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chase
I was whistling.
Like a damn fool.
If Nixon could see me now, he’d think I’d completely lost it. My grin got wider at the thought. Damn, if I didn’t watch it, I was going to break something in my face.
The hot water poured over my achy body. Being with Mil had been… amazing, effortless, obsessive. Already, I was eager for another round. My body flared to life at just the thought of touching her again, of kissing her, squeezing her flesh between my hands as I ran my tongue down her—
“You piece of shit!” Mil screamed. I stepped out of the shower only to find her standing in front of me, a gun aimed directly at my chest. “I trusted you!”
“Mil, put the gun down.” I lifted my hands into the air like a guilty ass and looked frantically around the bathroom for the reason behind her anger.
“If I didn’t need you so damn bad, I’d shoot you in the head.” She choked, tears running down her cheeks.
“Baby, what happened?” I took a cautious step toward her.
She shook the gun harder, this time pressing it against my wet chest.
“Mil?”
“No.” Her lips trembled.
“What the hell happened?” I whispered. “Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you?”
She nodded, dropping the gun onto the floor. It clattered against the tile making such a loud noise that I winced.
“Baby—”
“Don’t call me that.” Her voice was low, emotionless. “We have to meet Tanya in less than an hour. Grab your shit and put some clothes on.”
“Mil—”
“Here’s your phone.” She forced a smile that looked more like she was baring her teeth. “Hope you got all the information you needed.” She pushed the phone against my chest and stalked out of the bathroom. I grabbed it before it also crashed to the floor and looked at the screen.
“Shit.” I wiped my face with my free hand as I scrolled through the messages. Damn Nixon. Did he have to ruin everything? Seriously? Running after Mil would do nothing. She’d just think I was lying to her like everyone else in her life. So instead, I listened to her orders. I followed her out of the bathroom, put my jeans, grabbed my gun and wallet — or my shit as she lovingly called it — and stuffed my phone back into my pocket.
“Aren’t you gonna text Nixon and let him know what’s going on?” Mil asked, without looking at me directly in the eyes.
“Nah.” I felt like an ass, even though I’d done nothing wrong. “Some things should be kept just between us. Tanya isn’t much of a threat, you know? We’re just going to do a meeting in a public place. It’s not like she’s going to try to shoot us. Then again…” I sighed, things hadn’t gone how I thought they would, “It may be wise to have backup.”
“Fine, do whatever you need to do.” Mil’s voice caught in her throat.
“It will be,” I whispered, reaching for her hand.
She jerked back and shook her head.
“I didn’t betray you. I know you don’t believe me, but if you remember correctly, I was a little distracted these past twelve hours. When would I have had time to even look at my phone? And you know how iPhones work. If the message is checked, it doesn’t show up on the home screen anymore.”
Mil stared at the carpet, her fingers twitching at her side.
“I just wanted to say my peace so you’d know.”
Her head jerked up. “Know?”
“Yeah, Mil.” I stalked toward her and pushed her against the wall, nearly knocking off the artsy picture by the door. “I want you to know. I want you to freaking feel. I want you to believe me when I say I want you. I like you. I trust you. I live to protect you. And I only do what I want to do. My cousin can go to hell for all I care. I chose to be with you… I wasn’t forced, nor will I ever be forced. And if I am, I’ll take the punishment with open arms. So pick up the broken pieces to your tragically shattered heart. Let me glue them back together again so you can get that damn look off your face and let me kiss you.”
“Is that how this works?” she said, her voice thick with tears. “You kiss me then tattle to Nixon.”
I pinned her arms behind her back, exposing her neck and mouth to mine as I slowly leaned forward, my forehead touching hers. “I have given you absolutely no reason not to trust me, Mil. When this is all over with and I walk away, just know it won’t be because I want to, but because I could only handle so much rejection and distrust before you forced me to give up and I’m not a man that gives up. I’m it. I’m all you have. So stop being so damn insecure.”
She closed her eyes.
“Look at me.”
Mil’s lower lip trembled.
I kissed her mouth and whispered across her lips, “Trust me. I need you to trust in me.”
“Okay.” She opened her eyes. “But no secrets.”
“Mil.” I released her hands and gave her a sad look, tilting her chin so I could feel the smoothness of her skin. “I think we both know who’s harboring secrets between the two of us, and it sure as hell isn’t me.” With a sigh, I released her chin.