“Chase, I’m—” Mil put her hands on her hips and refused to look at me. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair.”
“Fair?” I choked.
Mil’s eyes finally met mine. Sadness dripped from every single plane on her face. There was no crevice, no piece of her that looked whole. Broken. She was so broken that I hated myself for being selfish — for only thinking about my part of our partnership.
“To you,” Mil continued. “When it happens—”
I shook my head interrupting her. “Mil, don’t do this.”
She kept talking, damn her. “When it happens, it should be because both of us are in the same mindset you know? It should—”
“Mil, really. I’m a big boy.” I fake-laughed. “It’s fine.”
“Damn it!” Mil charged toward me and slammed my body against the tile wall. “Stop interrupting me, you jackass. I’m trying to share my emotions here, and you’re bleeding like a damn martyr in the middle of a coliseum!”
Stunned, my mouth dropped open. My body hummed to life with pleasure at being scolded. Nobody scolded me. There was never a need to. I’d never had a girl actually yell at me before — I didn’t count Trace because she was taken.
“You.” Mil pointed her finger in my face. “Are. Mine.”
I opened my mouth to speak.
And received a hard slap across my left cheek.
“I’m sorry!” Mil gasped, putting her hands over her mouth. “I just didn’t want you interrupting me again!”
“So you slapped me?” I winced, rubbing my cheek. “Seriously?”
She glared. “I could have pulled a gun.”
“Point taken.” I cracked my jaw and crossed my arms. “So talk.”
“Well, now you’ve got me all nervous, and I forgot my entire speech.”
“So? You want me to piss you off again? Would that help?” I teased, slowly pushing away from the wall.
“You being an ass never helps, Chase. If you don’t remember anything from this little conversation, remember that.”
I smirked, unable to help my body’s physical reaction to every damn thing that came from her hot-as-hell mouth. I took a few more steps, backing her into the corner where the shower was still running. I stopped when she was underneath the showerhead.
“Tilt back,” I whispered.
“What?”
“Do it, Mil.”
She rolled her eyes but complied. I lifted her t-shirt from her body, exposing a black silky bra, and fought the curse rising up in my throat as water dripped between her br**sts. Next, I tugged her already wet jeans down to her ankles. Mil hesitated then stepped out.
Matching.
Black bra. Black lace panties? I had trouble focusing for a mere second before re-purposing myself to do my job — make her feel safe.
I washed her hair, letting the pieces of black silk slip through my fingers like it was the most precious thing I’d ever felt. When I was done, I kissed her on the cheek and removed my clothes. I grabbed a towel on the way out of the shower so she only saw my ass cheek at most.
“Chase!” My body responded to her yell like I’d just stepped on a live wire.
“Hmm?” I didn’t turn around.
“Thank you.”
“Anytime.”
“I’m sorry I attacked you.”
I turned slowly to face her as she peeked around the curtain. “You think that’s why I’m upset?”
“Well, I, uh…” Her face started turning red as she closed her eyes and covered it with her hands. “I just I know that it’s harder for guys, you know—”
“Mil?” Holy shit, I had to rein it in before I died laughing and embarrassed her more. “It’s always harder for guys, kind of the point.”
“Not that.” She removed one hand and pointed at the towel wrapped around my waist. “I meant, it’s harder to stop, and I know that… I could tell that you…”
She cursed and removed her hands from her eyes and glared. “I could tell that you—”
“Mil, stop before you give yourself an aneurism.”
She glared, her cheeks so pink that it looked like she’d just gotten a sunburn from wandering the Vegas desert.
“Yes.” I closed the distance between us. “I want you.” I dropped my towel and purposefully looked down, waiting for her to follow suit. When her eyes dilated, I continued talking. “I think you know I want you. Did I want to throw you against the shower floor and have my way with you? Make you scream my name until you forget the horrors of what you just witnessed? Take you again and again and again until you no longer had any worries in the world? Hell yeah, I wanted that. I wanted that. But that isn’t what you deserve. It isn’t what I deserve. It’s a moment, one moment, and then we’re left with the rest of our lives. So yeah, you stopped the moment when I couldn’t, and I’m glad you did. Granted, I could have done without the slap, but I’m into kinky, so it’s fine.”
At that she laughed, still not meeting my eyes.
“Mil, remember what I said about you looking at me.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“You’re very, very naked.” Her hand reached out to touch my stomach, her knuckles grazing near my hip bone. Damn, but I wanted her fingers to slip so bad it hurt.
“You’ve seen other guys naked.” How was it possible that her blush deepened? “Besides, I’m your husband.”
“I’m sorry, Chase.”
“For?”
“Ruining the moment.”
“Don’t be.” I ran my fingers down the side of her jaw, memorizing the velvet feel of her skin. “Because I don’t want a moment.”
She gasped, her eyes instantly averted to the left.
“I want a lifetime.”
Her head turned so fast I was afraid she was going to throw her neck out of place.
“Take a shower, Mil. I’ll be waiting.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Nixon
I checked the time on my cell and leaned against the wall. The desert heat was not in any way helping my already tense mood and irritated disposition. A guy walked by, flicking his cigarette into the dirt. Note to self: you know you’re edgy as hell when you’re halfway tempted to grab said cigarette and suck the nicotine dry from the remains.
And I didn’t even smoke.
Shhhit.
My head hurt, my muscles were sore, and Trace was pissed. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the building.