“Kissing a pretty girl.”
“You really think I’m pretty?” She blushed and looked down.
No. She was freaking beautiful. Her eyes were so blue that it almost hurt to look at her, silky black hair slid through my fingers each time I gripped her head with my hands. Every touch, every sensation felt like heaven, and I wanted to go to heaven so damn bad — that’s what happened when you lived in hell — you wanted what you couldn’t have. And I wanted her.
“Is this okay?” I reached for her shirt and slowly undid the buttons. She blushed, but still nodded, so I continued, hands shaking. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. All I knew was that she called out to me; she was my siren song, and I was lost at sea.
“Chase.” Mil’s hands shook as they pressed against my chest. “I’ve never done this before.”
“Me either.” I laughed. “Do you still want to?”
She nodded shyly and tucked her hair behind her ears, looking more innocent than ever.
“Good.” Because I wasn’t sure my body knew the word stop at that point. I finished unbuttoning her shirt and let it drop to the floor. With a shudder, she straightened her shoulders and undid her bra, letting it too, fall to the floor.
Blood roared in my ears as I stared.
I couldn’t do anything but that.
I stared like a lunatic, like a man who’d never seen br**sts before — I had — but never on a woman so perfect. With a groan, I threw her onto the bed. Her hands moved to my jeans. Cursing my own inexperience, I pushed away from her to strip off the rest of my clothes.
And then it hit me.
I really, seriously, had no idea what to do next.
She must have read the panic in my eyes, because she tried to push me away.
“No, no.” I kissed her mouth. “It’s not you.”
“But you, you—”
I silenced her with my lips again. “Mil, look at me. It’s not you, I’m just… you make me nervous.”
“Oh.” She fell back onto the bed and smiled. “Well, you make me nervous too, but I still want my first to be with you.”
“Why’s that? You barely know me,” I joked. We’d met at breakfast. I’d assumed she was one of the cousins. We vacationed big in our business, never went anywhere without all the family, always. Besides, there had been some big deal our dads were involved in that had luckily made it so that all of us friends could go to Vegas with them and the women.
Between Nixon, Tex, and me, we had enough cousins to probably fill at least two towers at Caesar’s Palace.
“I know enough.” Mil’s eyes glistened. “I know you’ll keep me safe.”
“Oh yeah?” My brows furrowed. “And what gives you that idea.”
She grabbed the necklace I always wore around my neck and gave it a little tug. It was a silver cross with a giant letter A across it. “Because you’re an Abandonato. She said you’d be safe.”
“She?”
“Are we doing this or not?” Mil wrapped the necklace around her fingers, tugging my face closer to hers.
“We’re doing it.” I kissed her hard. “And you’re right. I’m safe.”
“I know you are.” She sighed against my mouth. “It’s why I picked you.”
Five horrifyingly short minutes later, and we were both laughing our asses off.
“It’s okay!” Mil told me for the third time. “Really, I knew it wouldn’t be that great at first.”
“Wow, thanks.” I swore.
“You know what I mean!” She wrapped her arms around me. “We’ll keep practicing.”
“Practicing?”
“Yeah, silly.” She pushed against my chest. “I mean, I imagine we’ve skipped past the whole dating thing and slipped to sleeping together. But, after today—”
“Wait.” Panicking, I pushed away from her and told myself to stop freaking out. “Mil, I mean, don’t get me wrong. You’re hot as hell, but I thought this was just a one-time thing, you know? For fun.” I gave her a really big smile, hoping she’d smile back and shrug.
No smile. No shrug. But I did see tears begin to well.
“Aw, shit.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Mil, we can talk about it, I mean, if you wanted a boyfriend you should have—”
“I never said I wanted a boyfriend.” Mil looked down at her hands. “I said I wanted to feel safe. You promised you were safe. You promised.”
“I know and I am. Why? Did I hurt you?”
“You’re hurting me now!” She threw a pillow at my face and jumped out of her bed. “Where the hell is my bra?”
“Mil, stop freaking out.”
“I’m not freaking out. I just can’t believe how stupid I am. You know what? It’s not even worth it. At least I’m not a virgin anymore. At least he can’t hurt me.” Tears were streaming down her cheeks; she wiped them away and laughed. ‘Try not to feel, Mil.’ What a pathetic joke. Because I feel every damn thing.”
“Mil!” I grasped her shoulders and shook her. “Look at me.”
She raised her eyes, but they were empty. What the hell was going on?
“Mil?” A knock came on the door. Phoenix? What the hell was Phoenix doing there? I went to open it, but Mil punched me in the jaw before I was able to do anything.
“What the hell!” I yelled from the floor.
“Don’t open the door!” Tears mixed with rage made her face like a mask of turmoil. I pushed her away, still gripping my jaw, and jerked open the door.
“Not a good time, man.” I rubbed my jaw. Phoenix’s eyes took in my state of undress, then he pushed me out of the way and stomped toward Mil.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing? Dad’s going to go ape-shit if he finds you in here!”
“Dad?” I croaked.
Mil didn’t look apologetic.
“Let him,” Mil said in a numb voice. “What’s done is done.”
“Mil—” Phoenix closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. “Please tell me you didn’t… not with Chase.”
“Like I said, what’s done is done. Now he can’t hurt me.”
Confusion went off like a freaking atom bomb in my system. Now I couldn’t hurt her? Or was she talking about someone else? And who the hell was she?
Phoenix threw a shirt at Mil and stalked toward me. “If you touch her again, I’ll gut you from head to toe.”