My text alert went off.
Gabe: You okay? Got up to get a drink of water and thought of you, you know you can stay with us this semester. No need for you to room alone. Oh and PS Wes and Kiersten made it safely into the Bahamas—two days late.
Me: It’s fine. I think I may live off campus this year. I’ll figure it out. No worries! Gotta sleep. Yay for the happy couple!
I sighed and threw the phone onto my bed, chewing my lower lip in the process. Everyone was moving on with their lives.
And I was stuck.
Rain pelted my window. Funny, because I felt like rain most the time. Like I was meant to be sunshine but got confused and haven’t been able to free myself of the darkness for a really long time.
With a pitiful sigh, I crawled back into bed and closed my eyes. I prayed he wouldn’t visit me in my dreams again. Because whenever he visited—I was reminded of how pathetic it really was.
To want a love like Wes and Kiersten or Gabe and Saylor. To think it actually accessible, when all signs pointed to the obvious.
It would never happen. Not to me.
My heart broke all over again as warm tears slid off my cheeks onto the pillows. It wouldn’t happen for me, but I could still be the best person I could be, right? Right. That had to be enough.