"I can't do that." Jace shook his head. "If I let you go, you may never come back." He looked absolutely petrified.
But I was too! I needed to know I could trust him!
"Am I worth the risk?"
"I don't know if I could survive it, Beth." He rubbed the back of his head. "Something's off. Something's wrong."
"Am I worth the risk?"
Jace was silent, his eyes wide and thoughtful.
"Guess we're lucky you didn't fall in love, right? I guess you were right all along. In the end, one of us is walking away. Only this time, you're going to be the one watching, while I do what I should have done the first day I got here."
"What's that?" His voice was hoarse.
"Leave."
"Don't," Jace whispered, taking a step toward me. "We'll figure it out. Just don't walk away." His eyes flickered with uncertainty.
"Give me a reason to stay. Give me something. Give me truth."
Jace opened his mouth, but nothing came out. That was the part that hurt the most. He was able to give me the words when it was for his benefit. He was ready to do the big gestures, but when I needed him the most, he didn't pull through. He froze, because in the end he still wasn't sure about us, and if he wasn't sure now, he never would be.
"Let's talk about this," he tried again.
His smile made me sick.
"Come on, Beth, don't do anything rash. Just give me a few minutes to gather my thoughts. You did wake me up out of a dead sleep, you know."
He looked so disoriented I almost felt guilty. Almost being the key word.
Ignoring him, I walked into the bathroom and started putting all of my belongings into my suitcase.
"Beth—"
I stepped around him. "Jace?"
Again, he had no words.
"Enjoy the rest of your vacation." I threw my clothes into my suitcase and zipped it up. The clock near the bed said 5:15 a.m. If I was lucky, I could catch the first flight out. Then again, I hadn't been lucky in a very, very long time.
"If you go—" Jace's voice cracked.
"If I go, what?"
"If you walk away, it's your choice. You're choosing to be afraid. You're choosing to walk away from us."
"Meaning?" I whispered, my back to him.
"I'm not going to chase someone who doesn't want to be chased. I'm not going to pursue a girl who doesn't even realize why she's worthy of a pursuit. I care for you, Beth, but in my line of work, trust is the number one factor that builds a relationship, and if you already don't trust me, we're doomed before we even start."
Warm tears spilled onto my cheeks. "I know."
The door clicked shut behind me.
Chapter Thirty-one
"Are you crying?" Grandma leaned forward over the table an offered the agent a Kleenex.
"Gnat, it, uh, flew into my eye."
"Both of them?"
"So she left?" The agent sniffled. "And it's your fault."
"Yes. To all of the above."
Jace
I about banged the door down before it finally opened.
"Three seconds before I murder you," Jake whispered, his voice hoarse.
"She left."
"Who did?"
"Beth."
"So what the hell are you doing standing here in front of my hut ruining my sleep?"
"I panicked." And I'd had a nightmare about prom, one where there was blood and I was in that same damn car. Where the hell had I been going anyway? And why was I saying her name? It made me sick to my stomach that I couldn't remember. I wanted to punch a wall. And then to be woken up in the dead of the night and see tears in her eyes? It had about destroyed me.
"Oh, dear Lord." Jake opened the door wider and let me in.
Char was still sleeping. I grinned when she made a little mew in her sleep.
"My wife," Jake growled.
"Easy tiger. You won, remember?"
"Damn straight." Jake yawned again. "So, explain, what did you do to Beth to make her leave?"
I gave him a run down. "And she woke me up out of a dead sleep."
"I know the feeling."
"And expects me to be able to form coherent thoughts?"
"How dare she," Jake said dryly.
"I'm serious."
"So am I."
I swore. "I don't know what to do." I wanted to chase her down and punish her for leaving then kiss her senseless for doubting me.
"Well, at least now you know what you shouldn't ever do. Don't ever stare at a woman like she's crazy when she asks you to give her a reason to stay and don't tell her to her face—"
"It was her back," I pointed out.
Jake rolled his eyes. "Don't tell her in any way that you aren't going to chase her. What the hell is wrong with you? Do you wake up this stupid, or does it develop throughout the day?"
My stomach dropped down to where my balls had conveniently disappeared. "This morning, I'd have to say I woke up that way." Either that or the thirty-foot jump jarred something in my head.
A loud bang was heard on the door.
Swearing, Jake ran to open it and came face-to-face with Grandma. She was wearing leopard silk pajamas and had a creepy green mask covering her entire face, except her eyes.
"What did you do?"
"Me?" Jake sputtered. "Try him."
He pointed at me. He may as well have put a giant-ass target on my back and handed Grandma a shotgun.
"You." She joined in the pointing.
I started sweating.
"I basically handed you happiness on a platter!"
With a groan, I hung my head in my hands.
"And how do you thank me? You let her just walk away."
"She's already gone?" I jumped up from my seat. "But how did she get on a boat so fast? How—"
The slap sounded like a crack of thunder. Did she? Had I just been slapped by Grandma?
Jake winced as if he knew firsthand how hard that eighty-six-year-old woman could hit and took a protective stance, covering his man parts. Yeah, I'd probably never father children. That slap killed sperm; it made my balls recoil so far into my body I was pretty sure I would walk funny for at least a week.
"You. Are. A. Jack. Ass. Jack. Ass!" Grandma shouted.
More laughing from Jake.
"You're worse than Shit!"
Jakes laughter turned to confusion.
"She means the donkey," I explained.
"Was your plan just to let her walk away when things got too hard? When things got difficult? Now look what you've done! All my hard work, for nothing! I flew your parents here. I staged your wedding! I dropped crumbs every few minutes so that you'd follow the trail, and what do you do?"