Kessen laughed nervously. “Thus the romance novels.”
“I blame myself entirely,” Nick said, putting a hand across his heart. “In high school, she played all sports, and I mean all. She even managed to be on leadership and do cheerleading. Her first real date was with the point guard from our basketball team. All the girls loved him, including Kessen, but she was afraid he would kiss her. So that’s when I stepped in and took one for the team.”
Duncan gave Nick a little shoulder rub as if to say, “Atta boy.”
Christian rolled his eyes. “And she paid you?”
“Well, not with money.”
Something akin to murder flashed across Christian’s features before Nick continued.
“I had a huge crush on Sammy, but she only thought of me as a friend. Kessen helped her see me differently. It took a Michael Jackson impersonation and a quick makeout session, but I’m happy to say she’s been mine ever since.
“Fast forward to college, we all attended Ivy Leagues, and Kessen decided she wanted to go into business. She graduated early, earned her master’s, and in her free time dedicated as much volunteer time as possible at the local hospice where her mother was staying. She also read to her mother every single Vandenbrook romance novel on the market. I can still remember them having Vandenbrook Saturdays, as they called them at the hospice center. Her father never knew; he always considered Kessen to be extremely logical.”
Christian suddenly had a great deal more respect for the stupid romance novels, which had helped Kessen’s mother through that hard end to her life.
The mood seemed to change to something sad, so Christian asked, “What’s her most embarrassing moment?”
Kessen opened her mouth to speak, but Nick put his hand up. “I’ll take this one. It happened like this—Kessen had a crush on this boy.”
Kessen looked away in fear; Christian was ecstatic to hear the rest of the story. “Please continue,” he urged.
“This boy … well, let’s call him Tom. That okay with you, Kessen?”
A whimper was heard from her direction on the couch. Christian tried to keep his face straight.
“So Kessen found Tom attractive. The problem with Tom was, Tom didn’t know Kessen existed. So Kessen, in a flash of pure brilliance, decided she would find out his likes and dislikes and then pretend to like them too. She followed him home for three weeks straight, taking notes on where he hung out and what he did. Finally after the third week, a cop showed up and arrested her. Turns out, Tom had seen her stalking him the whole time and thought she was some sort of psycho out to get him. He did have a rather inflated view of himself, so it was totally logical to him a girl would stalk and kill him. Anyway, imagine his surprise when it turned out to be Kessen. He ended up not pressing charges, but he did obtain a restraining order against her, because he feared for his life.”
“I switched schools,” Kessen admitted.
Christian laughed. “How old were you?”
“I was only fourteen!” she said defensively. “And I was still going through that awkward phase!”
“Still?” Duncan said patronizingly.
She stuck her tongue out at him. “As much fun as it’s been to go down memory lane, I believe it’s time to turn the tables. Duncan, if you would be so kind.”
He saluted. “Right away, my lady.”
Duncan cleared his throat. “Our story now takes us across the Atlantic to the tiny country of England. Our boy Christian was born in London. Nick, if you wouldn’t mind.”
“Of course.” Nick held open the map and pointed to London, England.
“Thank you, Nick.”
“Of course.”
Duncan cleared his throat again. “He had a relatively normal childhood. That is, if normal includes having a nanny most of your life, and your mother and father sending baby pictures of you to the newspaper and local television stations, and women begging to betroth themselves to you at the ripe age of eight.”
Christian winced. He had forgotten about all the betrothal offers. How embarrassing.
Kessen blanched. “They still do that?”
“The Brits and their blue bloods,” Nick said wistfully, obviously making fun of Kessen’s interest.
Duncan pointed at Christian. “We grew up together. I immediately wanted to be friends with Christian, mainly because he had more toys, and his parents let him throw mud.”
Christian laughed.
“He also had an attractive older sister, at whom I would stare at for hours on end when he wasn’t watching.”
“Watch it,” Christian growled.
Duncan grinned. “So, it came to pass that around the age of fourteen, we discovered novels had been written about the Vandenbrook family. Upon further research in the local library, we also discovered Christian could easily use this to his advantage. And so began his days of dating, during which he wined and dined women all over London. Well, as best he could at that tender impressionable age. He soon tired of his own sleaziness and went off to college.”
Christian closed his eyes. Leave it to Duncan to mention all the affairs he’d had. Though one couldn’t count them as affairs, if the person wasn’t married. Besides, it wasn’t as if he was sleeping around. He merely dated a lot, which he felt the need to interject to the whole group.
All expressions looked doubtful. He felt like growling.
“Our dear Christian wasn’t interested in his father’s inheritance; he wanted to make something of himself, so he decided to break off from the family and actually get a job—something, if you’ve read any of the Vandenbrook books, you’ll notice never happened. His father was appalled; his mother nearly had a stroke, but Christian was extremely successful and happy. In hopes of finally bringing Christian back into the family’s honor, his father set about to engage his eldest son to one of the most notable families in London. The girl was beautiful but stupid, causing Christian to feel the need to work late into the night so he wouldn’t have to see her. Eventually they broke it off.”
Christian laughed. “Yes, we did, thanks to you; I still owe you one, by the way.”
Duncan smiled smugly to himself. “You’re not the only one who can seduce, my friend.” Then he winked at Kessen.
“Do that again, and I’m ripping your eye out of its socket.”
Duncan backed away from him and whispered to Kessen, “Quite violent when he gets territorial, don’t you think?”