“Duke—”
“Dolores and I had a son,” he announced, and I snapped my mouth shut.
I didn’t know that.
No clue.
Oh f**k.
I didn’t like how this was starting.
“He was on his bike, ridin’ around in the street in front of our house one afternoon, and he was hit by drunk driver.”
Oh f**k.
That I didn’t only not like, I f**king hated it.
“He was eight,” Duke went on.
Oh my God.
“Duke,” I whispered.
“Dolores, she had a time of it throughout the pregnancy, and she was in labor for seventy-eight hours. Finally, both her and my boy in distress, they took him. But I almost lost them both.”
Oh my God.
“So obviously,” he continued. “I wasn’t big on gettin’ her knocked up again. Dolores wanted more. I wouldn’t hear of it.” He stared at me hard. “In the end, he was all we had.”
“I didn’t know,” I said quietly.
“No one does. Except Ellen. That’s why we dropped out. Left Cali. Came home. And probably Lee knows, since he checks out everything. But he also keeps his mouth shut when he needs to.”
I nodded.
“It was afternoon, Ally,” he told me.
“What?” I asked.
“My Joshua got all his bones broke, his insides mashed, his head caved in by some guy who spent his day gettin’ soused and got behind the wheel of a car in the afternoon. What kid can’t be safe ridin’ around on the streets in front of his house in the f**kin’ afternoon?”
I shook my head because I didn’t have the answer to that. “It doesn’t make sense.”
He nodded. “It sure the f**k doesn’t.”
I said nothing.
Duke did. “It wasn’t too late. We could try again. But it broke us, both of us. Nearly lost Dolores. She couldn’t bear any memory of him, even me. But we got past it, left the life we shared with our boy, and decided not to try again. But it left a hole, Ally. A hole that I didn’t think could be filled, losin’ my kid, not havin’ another one. I bloody gaping hole.”
“I get that,” I whispered.
“And it was filled when you and Indy came into my life.”
My stomach shifted back like I’d been punched just as my heart squeezed.
“You two, so f**kin’ nuts, hangin’ with Ellen at the store, always gettin’ into trouble. Fell in love with you both the minute I laid eyes on you.”
My eyes burning, my voice croaky, I said, “Duke.”
“So you, out there on your own, doin’ dangerous shit, not talkin’ to your family about it, your friends, me…” He shook his head. “Pissed me off.”
Now I understood. God, I understood.
“I’m so sorry,” I said gently.
“I was worried about you.”
Wanting to touch him, unsure if I should but regardless, paralyzed with the pain of hearing everything he said, I just stood there and repeated, “I’m so sorry.”
“But then word got out about what happened at Lincoln’s. Tex told me everything. He wouldn’t have told you, but he was proud of you, girl. Nearly crowin’ about it. Said you knew exactly what you were doin’. Said, top to toe, through and through, you’re a Nightingale.”
My throat closed.
Freaking loved Tex.
“It was then,” he carried on, “I realized that there would come a time in Joshua’s life, a time me and Dolores didn’t get to, when we’d have to let go. We’d have to let him be his own man. Live his own life. And it was then I realized I’d been an ass because I was pissed at you, but I had to let you do the same thing.”
“Right,” I replied, my voice still husky.
“So I gotta do that and stand by you. Not be pissed. You left that message, it took me a while and Dolores reamed my ass, but here I am, suckin’ it up to apologize for bein’ pissed-off instead of givin’ you the freedom to fly.”
I said nothing again. Just swallowed (hard) and nodded.
“Now, sayin’ that, you be careful and you come to me whenever you need me.”
“Okay, Duke,” I forced out through a tight throat.
“Whenever you need me, Ally.”
I nodded.
He stared at me.
I let him then whispered, “Love you, Duke.”
“Same,” he grunted.
That made me smile. It trembled but I did it.
“Now, Darius,” he stated then cleared his throat, and I knew we were moving on and I was freaking grateful for it.
“Yeah?” I prompted.
“Scored dark marks in his own soul, darlin’.”
“I know, Duke, but—”
He shook his head and I shut up.
“I been watchin’. That boy isn’t on the path to redemption. What he’s doin’ is bidin’ his time and givin’ himself that time to be with the people who mean somethin’ to him. Doin’ it knowin’ that’s as good as he’s gonna get, ‘cause what he’s facin’ is damnation and he can’t do a thing about it.”
My back went straight. “That isn’t true.”
“You’re right. It isn’t. That doesn’t mean that man doesn’t believe it down to his bones.”
Shit.
“Your challenge,” he got closer to me, “our challenge, is to convince him differently.”
“How do we do that?” I asked.
“Two choices. We do what we’re doin’ and hope he wakes up, looks around and understands he’s not thinkin’ right. Or we snap him out of it.”
“I’m for the snapping him out of it option,” I mumbled.
“Me too,” Duke replied.
“Okay, how do we do that?” I asked.
“Hell if I know,” he answered.
Great.
“I just know in dealin’ with you women, there’s always the time, the right time when you can do somethin’ that’ll get through the walls, seed, bud and grow, and that’s when you plant the wisdom. So we just gotta wait for the right time to plant that seed.”
I nodded because this was sage. He was right and I’d watched him do it time and again with the Rock Chicks so I also knew it worked.
It sucked. I was losing patience with this and didn’t want to have to exercise more.
But he was right.
“Thanks, Duke.”
He jerked up his chin before he looked across the yard and muttered, “Best get back to Dolores.”