Finally!
My back straightened, my chin lifted and, even though I couldn’t see them, I knew my eyes weren’t warm and they were no longer filled with tears. They were shards of ice.
“Fine,” I clipped, my voice cold.
Hector’s eyes went even more intense as they scanned my face.
Then he murmured as if to himself, “Fuckin’ hell, I lost her.”
I ignored his words because there was no point in responding. He had, indeed, lost her.
New Sadie was a memory. She had to be, this was no place for her.
“I’ll talk to Buddy and Ralphie. You do,” I hesitated, “whatever you have to do.”
“Sadie –” he started, giving me a gentle squeeze.
“No,” I interrupted him and pulled away. Yanking out of his arm and jerking my head from his hand, I took a step back. “It’s fine. You’re right, perfectly right. Thank you for the lesson in kindness and morality. You’re right about that too, I don’t know much about that either.”
His eyes flashed and he clipped out a, “God damn it,” but I was already out the door.
I marched back to the kitchen so fast my robe flew out behind me.
I halted inside the kitchen and looked at Buddy and Ralphie who were both sitting close together at the island, Buddy’s arm was around Ralphie’s shoulders. When their faces turned to me, I noticed they looked worried.
Blooming heck!
I felt Hector enter the kitchen but I ignored him. I prepared to make an Ice Princess Speech, something I’d never really had to do before but I figured I could pull it off.
It was time to be mistress of my own destiny or I’d lose everything. I was sick of losing and I was going to put a stop to it, right f**king now.
I took a deep breath and charged in. “Last night, a couple of hours after Hector left, Marty Balducci called me and he was angry about me pressing charges against his brothers. He said he was going to take care of Harvey and Ricky and I’d been a stupid bitch,” I announced.
Buddy’s arm dropped from around Ralphie’s shoulders, they both straightened and I kept talking.
“He told me I was going to pay.”
Ralphie’s eyes closed slowly. Buddy’s face went tight.
I went right on talking. “He called me the c-word.”
Ralphie’s eyes flew open and he gasped.
“Twice,” I went on.
“The c-word?” Ralphie breathed, his face getting red.
“Yes,” I clipped then continued. “Hector’s people are monitoring my cell calls. One of them heard it, told Hector and he came back around.”
“Why didn’t you come to us last night? We’re just across the hall,” Buddy asked me.
“I didn’t want to wake you,” I answered.
“You…” Buddy’s eyes were wide then he shook his head in disbelief. “You didn’t want to wake us?”
“That’s right,” I told him, my voice pure ice but I watched with a sinking heart as Buddy started to look mad and I knew he was mad at me.
I hated it that he was mad at me but I kept going and this time my glacial gaze slid across the whole room including in its frosty path Hector, who was now standing by the island, leaned against it, taking in my performance with a blank face and his arms crossed on his chest.
“Now, what you all don’t understand, but I’ll explain to you, is that this isn’t unusual for me. Dealing with these kinds of people, this kind of behavior, it doesn’t faze me. It’s been my life for twenty-nine years. I will admit that I’ve never been the target but I also know how these people work. These are my people, this is my world and you have my sincere apologies for dragging you all into it with me.”
“Sadie, sweetie –” Ralphie was getting up but I lifted my hand and shook my head. He took one look at my face, blinked slowly and settled, wordlessly (a miracle!), back on his stool.
“I don’t know what to do but I’ll figure something out and I’ll inform you of my plans when I’ve come to some conclusions. In the meantime, I know that the situation is grave and I appreciate all your help in keeping me safe.” I was barreling toward my grand finale and I swept across the room, snatched my coffee cup from the counter and started toward the door. “Now, I’m getting ready for work.” My eyes went to Hector. “Enjoy the brioche and have a nice day,” I finished.
Then on that I made the best exit I could on bare feet with no makeup, my heart in my throat, my stomach in a knot and while wearing silky, lacy pajamas and a robe that, I realized belatedly, I should have tied closed.
I got to the foot of the stairs thinking I’d made a clean getaway and no one would hear me if I cried in the shower when an arm sliced around my waist, laying waste to any hope of a successful exit.
In a smooth move that had to be in contention for the Smoothest Move in the History of Man, Hector curled me around to face him, took my coffee cup out of my hand, leaned to the side, placed it on a stair (without spilling a drop!), came back to me and locked his other arm around me, both of them going tight.
When he was done with this, my heart was hammering, I looked up at his blank face, Sorceress of the Antarctic thankfully still firmly in place.
“Let me go,” I demanded.
“Not a chance,” Hector returned instantly, the blank look disappearing as his eyes flashed with annoyance. Then he said what I personally thought was bizarrely, “Spent a year hopin’ you’d give me the opportunity to try this. Now that you have, I’m gonna take it and we’ll see how it plays out.”
Before I could ask what he was talking about or demand him to let me go again or, better still, tear out of his arms and make a run for it, one of his hands slid up my back into my hair, his head lowered, I opened my mouth to protest and his mouth was on mine.
I put my hands to his shoulders to push him away at the same I pulled my head back but his head came with mine, his tongue slid inside my mouth and (damn and blast!) my Sorceress of the Antarctic disintegrated right on the spot.
His heat hit me (and another kind of heat hit me in other places) and my hands stopped pushing at his shoulders. I went up on tiptoe, my casted hand curled around his neck, the fingers of my other hand slid into his thick hair.
Apparently unable to control myself, I pressed into him and kissed him back.
This was one of his urgent, fiery kisses. The ones that tore through me, taking all reason and rational thought with it and leaving me with nothing but the heat and the desire to lose myself completely in the kiss and in him.