I was stil babbling!
“How do you know what’s going on?” Mom got back to the subject.
“Wel , he’s also a private investigator.” Mom gasped.
“No! No, he didn’t investigate you or anything. I mean, wel , he did. After we found out from his Dad, who’s kind of a jerk…” My eyes skidded toward Mace’s face again but I couldn’t see it as his head was tilted down. His shoulders were shaking however and I knew it was with laughter. I forged ahead, “Anyway, it’s a long story. His Dad told me you were sick so Mace checked up on you and he told me you were in trouble. So –”
“Did you pay the mortgage?”
My hand went to Mace’s thigh, I squeezed and his head came up. I was right, he was smiling.
The smile faded when I said, “No, I didn’t pay the mortgage. Mace did.”
“Your Dad’s real mad about the mortgage. Went to the bank and told them to return the money but they won’t do it because we’re behind.”
“He’s going to have to get over it,” I told her. “We’re sending more money, Mom. Our friends did a col ection.”
“Don’t do that Stel a.”
“Mom –”
“Don’t you do it, girl,” she snapped.
Al of a sudden her voice had changed and I felt the blood run out of my face.
She could be harsh but it was unusual. Mostly she was quiet, timid and did everything she could to be invisible.
Mace saw me pale and his eyes narrowed on my face.
He dropped his hand from my neck, sat straight and hit the button for the speakerphone.
I stil talked into the handset.
“Mom, you have to take the money.”
“My life’s been a livin’ hel since you left, girl.” I heard Mom over the speakerphone and her voice was sharp and ugly. “You left me to him. Didn’t think for a second about me, what I might go through with you gone. You were always so damned selfish. Then I got the cancer. We don’t hear word one from you for years. Now you think you can swoop in, big time rock star, in the papers, datin’ a famous athlete, make it all better.” She dragged out the “al ” with acid sarcasm.
I felt my heart lurch and my stomach clench as my mother delivered her gut kick.
She sounded like Dad.
And she’d seen the papers.
Which meant she knew I was the target of a kil er.
And she didn’t care.
“Mom.”
“He’s on a tear about this money. You ain’t helpin’ things.
I don’t need this. I need to rest.”
“Mom, let me help.”
“You can help by keepin’ your nose outta our business.
You wanted to be gone, Stel a, you’re gone. Let me die in peace.”
“Mom.”
“Don’t cal back and I ain’t tel in’ him that money was from your hotshot boyfriend neither. I got enough to deal with.”
“Please, Mom, listen to me.”
But the phone was dead.
I stared at it, silent.
Mace was not silent, he muttered, voice low, “You have got to be f**kin’ shittin’ me.”
I didn’t look at him. I kept staring at the phone. I was a mixture of mortified and… I didn’t know what.
Final y, I put the handset back in the receiver.
“You… have gotta be… fuckin’ shittin’ me,” Mace repeated and, final y, I looked at him.
Uh-oh.
He was pissed.
“Mace –”
His hands went to the phone, he twisted his torso violently, ripping it out of its socket, the cord flying. He got to violently, ripping it out of its socket, the cord flying. He got to his feet and, using the entirety of his upper body for momentum, he threw it across the room.
It exploded against the wal .
Erm.
Wow.
My eyes moved from the phone back to him. “Mace.” His gaze sliced to mine.
“Those ties have been severed,” Mace said, his voice trembling with fury.
“Mace.”
“You’re not phonin’ that bitch again. I don’t care if she’s dyin’.”
“Mace.”
He exploded, “You’re their f**king daughter! Do they not know how f**king precious you are?” Oh dear.
I wasn’t sure this was about me.
Wel , maybe it was mostly about me but it wasn’t al about me.
I got close to his tense body and put my hands to his neck.
“Mace, look at me.”
His eyes tilted down but his head didn’t. His chest was moving in and out rapidly like he was breathing heavily.
“She cal ed you selfish,” he told me.
“Forget it.”
“Said you didn’t think about her when you left.”
“I heard her,” I whispered.
“She ever think of you when he was abusin’ you?”
“Mace.”
“Answer me, Stel a.”
“No,” I said quickly.
“She ever protect you?”
“No.”
“She used you to protect herself.”
I got closer. “Mace, don’t –”
“She did, didn’t she?”
“Yes,” I said quietly.
“She’s worse than your Dad.”
“She’s not. She’s just weak.”
“Don’t f**kin’ defend her. She’s worse.”
I squeezed his neck. “Okay. She’s worse.” My hands slid up to the sides of his head into the hair behind his ears and I pressed with my fingers until his head tilted down. “Don’t be angry. They’re not worth it.”
“I gave them six thousand dol ars.”
I closed my eyes.
“You know what I’d give to have my f**kin’ phone ring and Caitlin’s voice comin’ at me from the other end?” he asked.
I opened my eyes and saw the demons in his.
Shit.
“What would you give?” I whispered.
“Everything,” he whispered back.
“I love you,” I said softly, jumping the gun, saying it far faster than I planned.
But I couldn’t help it. It just slipped out. I couldn’t have stopped it even if I tried.
Mace stared at me.
So, even though it scared the effing hel out of me, since I’d thrown it out there, I might as wel go with it.
So I did.
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me in my whole life. My hands could be crushed so I couldn’t play guitar ever again and I wouldn’t care as long as I had you.” Mace continued to stare at me.