His arm sliced around my waist lifting me clean off my feet, up through the air. He took three long strides and I landed on my ass on the counter of the kitchenette. He closed in, coming between my legs, his hands, one of them bloody, moving to either side of my face. He held on and stared at me, his face hard and angry and my heart was beating like a jackhammer.
It was then the door opened. I looked over his shoulder and Lee, Vance and Mace were there making the room seem even smaller.
“What the f**k is goin’ on?” Lee asked.
Luke turned halfway to them, his eyes to the floor, he didn’t look at them. I noticed a muscle in his jaw was jumping and I took this as a good sign that he was trying to regain control. He took a hand away from my face, sliced it in a sweep, palm down and low, indicating nonverbally (and likely incorrectly) that he had himself in check.
“Tell me this shit didn’t just get worse,” Lee said.
“This shit just got worse,” Luke answered, his voice an angry growl. “Give us a minute.”
I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, Lee, Vance and Mace had backed out and Lee was closing the door.
“Luke, listen to me,” I begged.
He twisted back to face me and I caught my breath because his gonzo actions hadn’t even touched his level of fury. He was still pushing the very top edge of the red zone.
“Talk to me,” he clipped and it wasn’t a request.
“Maybe –”
“Ava, do not keep any more of this shit from me. Tell me what the f**k happened, right, f**king, now.”
My body went stiff. “Luke, you seem to keep forgetting, it happened to me. It didn’t happen to you, it happened to me and I should –”
He framed my face with his hands again and got close. “It happened to you, babe, but at the same time, it happened to us.”
I pushed at his shoulders and yelled, “How dare you!”
He didn’t move, instead he kept talking, “Last night, I put my hand between your legs and you froze. If you weren’t you, if you didn’t have the strength to sort your f**kin’ head out and work through it that could have had a whole different ending. It says somethin’ about you that you could work through it. Hell, it demonstrates one of the reasons I want to be the one, the only one, who puts my hand between your legs. You were most other women we wouldn’t have had last night. Most women would shut down and last night could have taken weeks, months, maybe never have happened at all. I was prepared to work through it with you. Lucky for me, you aren’t most other women. That still doesn’t take away the fact that it could have been a long road for both of us.” He got even closer. “Sex is sex, babe, with anyone else. With you, it isn’t. It’s a f**kuva lot more. You know it. I know it and he could have taken that away from us. After all these years we found it and he could have taken it away. Not just from you but from me too. Do you understand?”
Tears filled my eyes and before I could deep breathe they spilled down my cheeks.
I understood. I really understood. Furthermore, I understood I wouldn’t be dancing at my wedding because Luke declared he wasn’t going to dance with me and I would be bearing him three sons (or daughters, whatever). And I wanted that, with everything that was me, but more Luke wanted it just as much as me.
Noah had put all that in jeopardy.
It was then, my tilty-world righted and for the first time in a long time, maybe the first time in my life, I felt my feet planted firmly on the ground.
I didn’t answer but I didn’t have to.
Luke watched me cry for a few beats and then said softly, “He’s gonna pay for those too.”
“What?” I asked in a shaky voice, trying hard to pull myself together.
“Your tears.”
At his words, I put my hands to his face and it was me who rested my forehead against his at the same time a sob tore from my throat.
So much for pulling myself together.
We stayed where we were, both holding on to each other while the tears slid down my cheeks. Finally, I sucked in breath and managed, with a tremendous effort of will, to pull myself together.
When I did, Luke’s thumbs swiped at my cheeks and he whispered, “Tell me.”
I closed my eyes slowly and just as slowly, I opened them.
Then, I told him. “He was taping me to the post, I already had tape over my mouth. He heard you come in and told me he had a gun. He told me if I made a sound, he’d blow my head off and then yours. I heard you call for me, I made a move to try and get away and he warned me again. We listened to you move around upstairs, he said he wanted to make it interesting and he touched me. You left, he’d got excited and he finished himself off. Then he finished taping me, told me to get you to make Vance back off and then he left.”
It was his turn to close his eyes.
“I could have stopped it,” he murmured.
I shook my head and my hands tightened. “He would have killed us both.”
His eyes opened. “He’s a con man, not a killer.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know it.”
“You can’t know it.”
“I know it.”
“Luke –”
“I know it because I’m not a con man but I am a killer.”
My breath froze in my lungs but I still managed to breathe. “What?”
“That’s part of who I was, it isn’t who I am now but it isn’t something you forget how to do.”
Panic filled me and oxygen came back into my lungs with a burning whoosh.
“Stop talking,” I begged on a whisper.
“I’ve said it before, babe, but maybe you didn’t clue in.”
“Stop talking.”
“You gotta know who you’ve let in your bed.”
“Stop.”
“You wanna end it now, you say the word and I’ll walk away. I’m still goin’ after him, I’m still gonna make him pay. But I’ll be out of your life.”
“Stop talking!” Now my hands were gripping his head, lungs burning so hot I was finding it hard to breathe.
“Say the word now, you don’t, I’m never letting you go.”
“Please, Luke, stop talking.”
“You gotta make the decision now, Ava.”
“Shut up,” I whispered.
“You can’t deny this and you can’t deal with this later, it has to be now. I’m not gettin’ used to sharin’ my life with you and havin’ you take off on me. You don’t say the word now and you can’t deal with it later and you think to leave, I’m warnin’ you, I’ll come after you.”