He turned to leave and I sagged against Vance’s body. Then he turned back and I went ramrod straight again.
I heard Vance’s quiet laughter in my ear and I kept my face perfectly composed and my body still so as not to turn around and gouge his eyes out.
“Just to say… I’ll be a little more cautious next time. Don’t want to get shot in the ass walking into my niece’s kitchen.”
Behind his glasses, Nick was laughing too.
The men in my life, I wanted to murder them all (except Roam and Sniff but they weren’t men yet, they were boys – when they became men I was sure they’d get scratched on to Jules Hit List just because men on the whole were vastly annoying and they wouldn’t be able to help themselves).
Then before I could say anything, Nick was gone.
The minute I heard the door close, I whirled on Vance and I saw that luckily he had his jeans on. Unfortunately, he had his gun in his hand.
I ignored his gun and the sight of his chest (very hard to ignore, seriously) and clipped, “What’s funny now?”
Instead of answering, he snatched me into his arms and kissed me, full-on, full tongue. Even in a snit, I had to admit, it was delicious.
When he lifted his head, he said in his silky voice, “Happy birthday, Princess.”
Um…
Wow.
He looked at me with sexy eyes and said, “Let’s take a shower.”
I could do a shower. I could do a lot of things after a “happy birthday” like that.
He let me go and twisted to put the gun on the side of the bed platform by the mattress.
And that’s when I saw his back.
“Oh my God,” I breathed.
He came back around to me but my eyes didn’t move from the space where I’d seen it even though I was now staring at his chest.
“Jules?” I heard Vance call.
I walked around him and he came with me but I put my hand to his waist and whispered, “Stand still.”
Surprisingly he did as I asked.
I got to his back and saw the puckered scar of the gunshot wound. I put both my hands on him then, my arms tight against my sides to hold up the sheet, one hand went to his belly, one hand at the small of his back.
I leaned around and looked at his chest.
Nothing.
I looked to his back again.
Gunshot wound.
I went back to his chest then to his back and again.
Then…
I lost my mind.
“They shot you in the back?” I yelled.
He turned to face me. “Jules.”
I lifted my eyes to his face. “The back?” I shouted.
His arms started to come around me but I jerked away.
“What kind of ass**le shoots someone in the back?” I was still shouting.
“Jules, listen –”
“That is just… I cannot believe… no one shoots anyone in the back. Only gutless sissies would shoot someone in the back.” My brows drew together and I frowned at Vance. “What happened?”
Correctly reading that there was no way he could interfere with my rant, Vance leaned against the bed platform and crossed his arms. “I can’t tell you. When it happened, we were workin’ a contract with the Feds.”
I put my hands on my hips. The sheet started unraveling so I compromised and put one hand to my hip while the other one held the sheet around me.
“How did you get shot in the back?” I asked.
“I can’t tell you that, Jules.”
I looked to the ceiling. “I just cannot believe this shit,” I told the ceiling like it would respond. Then I looked back at Vance. “I want a word with Lee. Government contracts where you go up against cowardly ass**les that would shoot his men in the back, I… think… not.”
“I’m fine,” Vance told me.
“I know you’re fine. I can see you’re fine. I do not care if you are fine.” I ended my tirade enunciating every word like my life depended on that particular communication.
In the face of my anger, Vance started laughing.
Laughing!
My body prepared to have a stroke. “This is not f**king funny!” I shouted.
He moved fast, his hands came to my h*ps giving me a swift yank. I flew forward and slammed against his body.
His shaking with laughter body.
Then his arms went around me, his face went to my neck and I felt his laughter there too.
Finally he said, “You wanna break up with me now?”
Oh my God.
He did not just say that.
“What’s your middle name?” I snapped.
His head came up and he was still smiling. “Why?”
“Tell me your middle name,” I demanded.
He kept smiling but he told me. “It’s Ouray.”
I blinked. “Ouray? Like, the town?”
“Yeah. It’s Ute. It means ‘arrow’.”
“Okay, then,” I took a deep breath and let loose, “Vance Ouray Crowe, do not f**king piss me off. It’s my f**king birthday and when I say this is not funny, it is not f**king funny!”
Vance stared at me a beat, that Jules-is-downright-adorable look in his eye.
Then he asked conversationally, his arrogant grin replacing his smile, “Do you think Nick’ll wait for coffee long enough for me to f**k you?”
My eyes narrowed. “You’ve just moved to the top of my list,” I informed him snottily.
His grin didn’t waver. “Your list?”
“My ‘Men in My Life I’m Going to Kill’ List. You’re at the top.”
This time he threw his head back and laughed, full body, full throated, full-on laughter.
When he was finished, his eyes came back to me and he said, “You can kill me after I f**k you.”
“Vance!”
His mouth came to mine and he gave me a soft kiss. “Shut up, Jules. We need to shower.”
“It’s my birthday, don’t tell me to shut up.”
“Nick’s waiting. You can keep yellin’ at me later.”
This was true, Nick was waiting.
I pulled out of his arms and stomped to the kitchen, grumbling under my breath and tightening the sheet around me. “I have to feed Boo. Then we can take a shower. Then we’ll go to coffee. Then I’m gonna call Lee and give him a piece of my mind.”
I heard the bathroom door close and I realized Vance wasn’t listening to a thing I said.
I yanked Boo’s food bowl out of the cupboard and slammed it on the counter.
Whatever.
Chapter Fourteen
Your Real Family
Nick walked into Fortnum’s ahead of Vance and me. We walked in (I kid you not) holding hands (or Vance was holding my hand and I was giving myself a secret birthday present by letting him).