Holy crap.
I grabbed it and looked. The last one I took was Monday. I was all over the place these days, I wasn’t in my normal day-to-day schedule. I was two pills behind, too late to catch up and I’d been having sex. A lot of sex. Apparently a lot of unprotected sex.
I slapped the pills back down on the table.
“I didn’t do it on purpose, I swear,” I told him.
“I know you didn’t,” he said, his hands back to massaging my foot.
“We have to stop having sex, like, immediately.”
His hands stopped massaging, “That’s not gonna happen.”
“Lee! What if I’m pregnant?”
He grinned “Then we’ll make a beautiful baby.”
I yanked my feet out of his lap, stood up and started to jump up and down.
“Ohmigod, ohmigod,” I chanted.
Lee stood and pulled me to him.
“Calm down,” he said but I could tell he was kind of laughing.
“This isn’t funny!” I yelled “We can’t get through a week without having a break. This is too new, too fast, too weird, too much. Ohmigod, ohmigod,” I began chanting again.
This was a serious, life changing moment and I needed Van Halen.
No, no Van Halen wasn’t going to do. This was a Metallica Moment.
I could tell by the feel of his body against mine that he was not kind of laughing anymore, he was flat out laughing.
“Why are you laughing?” I shouted.
“Because you’re cute,” he said, looking at me. “And you’re funny and you’re over-reacting. This isn’t the end of the world, you don’t even know if you’re pregnant and you’re moving in, for f**k’s sake.”
“Why’d you show me the pills?”
“Because if you’re pregnant, we shouldn’t waste time movin’ in together. If you’re not, we should take different precautions and we shouldn’t waste time movin’ in together.”
“Why do I have to move into your place, why don’t you move into mine?”
“I could do that.”
I stopped freaking out and stared. “What do you mean?”
“We’ll put my shit in storage and I’ll move to your place. Doesn’t matter to me.”
I was beyond staring and went straight to gawking.
“What about your view?” I asked.
He shrugged.
“I only have one bathroom,” I said.
“We could make that work.”
“I have a yard, you’d have to mow the grass. I don’t think Stevie will keep mowing my side if you live there.”
“Your yard’s the size of a postage stamp. I think I can manage mowing the grass.”
“It isn’t secure, there isn’t even an alarm system.”
“Vance will put one in.”
“What about the Command Center? I don’t have a room where you can put your top secret PI stuff.”
He started laughing again. “Do you want to move or do you want me to move, make up your mind.”
“I don’t know,” I said, and I didn’t.
“Well you have to figure it out now because one or the other of us is moving in tonight. No more f**king around.”
“I can’t figure it out now. I’m too stressed. I may be pregnant. I think I need to go out and buy vitamins or something.”
He pulled me deeper into him and I could feel his body shaking with his hilarity. I didn’t think it was hilarious, I thought it was scary as shit.
When he pulled himself together he said, “We’ll move to your place. It’s close to Fortnum’s and you have good neighbors. And I like your bedroom. I’ll rent this place out.”
Somehow, that made the panic ease but not totally subside.
He looked down at me.
“Happy with that?” he asked.
I nodded.
He got that soft look on his face and the melty look in his eyes, my knees started to buckle and I leaned into him.
Then the door buzzer went.
“Fucking hell,” he muttered.
He let me go and went to the door.
When he came back, he said, “Darius is coming up.”
I’d already met Eddie in Lee’s shirt, I wasn’t going to gallivant around in front of Darius in Lee’s tee. I mean, I was possibly pregnant. Pregnant women didn’t run around in front of just everyone wearing nothing but panties and t-shirt.
I grabbed my coffee, topped up and ran to the bedroom.
I slapped on some happy makeup, lots of glittery eyeshadow, thick mascara and dewy-blush. I topped some jeans and the black belt with rivets that Lee gave me with a white t-shirt that said, “I shot J.R.” in black and slid on my black flip flops.
I flip flopped my way back to the coffeepot, poured some in a travel mug and headed to the balcony where Darius and Lee were lounging.
I stood in the French doors. “Hey Darius.”
He’d watched me while I approached and he nodded and gave a bit of a smile but didn’t say anything.
I turned my gaze to Lee. “I gotta get to the store.”
“Take the Crossfire, I’ll take the Duc in this morning,” Lee said.
“The Ducati’s here?”
“Yeah.”
Wicked.
I kinda wanted him to take me to work on the Ducati but I wasn’t going to ask.
“I’ll take you out on the bike tonight,” Lee offered, the crinkles showing beside his eyes.
“Get out of my brain,” I returned, putting my hand on my hip.
That made him give me an out and out smile.
“Walk me to the door?” I asked.
I watched him get up and I started to turn toward the front door, then came around and looked at Darius again.
“We’re having a family barbeque on Saturday, Ally’s place. I’m sure everyone would like to see you,” I told him.
Lee dropped his chin and gave a couple of shakes of his head in that “I don’t believe she’s such an idiot” way.
“Thanks Indy, I got things to do,” Darius said.
“Okay, come after you’re done,” I said to him.
Darius shook his head.
“Then come before, bring your Mom and your sisters. I haven’t seen them in ages.” I kept going.
Lee’s hand wrapped around my upper arm and he turned me and marched me toward the door. I twisted around and I could see Darius grinning.
“See you later!” I called, already around the couch and in the kitchen.
As we passed, Lee snatched the Crossfire’s keys off the kitchen counter and at the front door he pulled me to a stop.