Okay, now it definitely didn’t feel bad.
Still.
“Did you read them all?” she asked.
“Parts of them, yes,” he answered honestly.
She closed her eyes and his fingers tightened in hers again.
“You wore my ring,” he murmured, his voice suddenly hoarse.
Her stomach clutched and her heart skipped.
“Pren –”
His voice was still thick when he continued, “Twenty years and you kept it with you.”
Elle was silent, partly because she didn’t know what to say, vaguely embarrassed that he knew she’d pined for him for twenty years. And partly because she was holding her breath and wasn’t physically able to speak.
Prentice didn’t have the same problem.
“I can’t say I’m proud of the way I treated you when you came back. What I can say is that I wouldn’t have behaved that way if you didn’t mean anything to me.”
Elle had to admit, this made sense.
And even though it felt good, really good, to know she still meant something to him, especially as she’d held him so close to her heart all those years, it didn’t help her breathing in any way.
Prentice kept on sharing, “I tried to forget you, Elle, but I never did. I told myself I’d moved on but I didn’t.”
She felt the tears sting her eyes, the wetness sliding out the sides.
He shifted their laced fingers so they were tight against her chest and she felt his face burrow in her hair.
“I still have your things,” he confessed, she felt herself go still and her eyes go dry.
“My things?” she whispered.
“Everything you ever gave me, every gift, every letter. Fee never knew I kept them; I didn’t want her to know. I felt guilty that I kept it from her but I couldn’t let them go.” He pulled in breath again and sighed into her hair before continuing, “I didn’t understand at the time, didn’t let myself think of it. But now I realize it’s because her knowing would hurt her and I didn’t want to do that. But also, they were mine. I didn’t want to let them go and I didn’t want to share with anyone, even Fee, that I couldn’t.” When Elle laid still and silent, Prentice finished, “They’re in a box in Mum’s loft.”
After he finished, Elle breathed, “Oh my God.”
He had, in his way, been pining for her too.
Prentice carried on, “Mum’s asked me twice in the last twenty years when she was clearing the loft, if she could get rid of them but I wouldn’t allow it.”
“Oh my God,” Elle repeated, comprehending how huge this admission was but not quite able to process it.
“She thought I was daft.” The throatiness had gone from his voice and a touch of humor was there. “When we get back, we’ll move that box home.”
She felt her breath escalate at his words as his chin moved her hair from her neck and he kissed her there before going on, “I’m not upset you got rid of that ring, baby. I never liked it. I always thought you deserved something more and, even the day I gave it to you, I intended to replace it with something better.”
Oh…
Wow.
“Pren –”
“I am upset about the reason why.”
“Pren –”
“And I’m sorry for that reason. More sorry than I can say that I said those things to you.”
Her voice was aching when she tried again to get through, “Pren –”
He continued to resist her efforts and asked, “Did you wear it when you were with Evangelista?”
She swallowed, worried about what her answer would say about her and then, considering Prentice was being so, very honest, she felt she had no choice but to nod.
Prentice’s voice sounded with disbelief when he asked, “Did he know what it was?”
Elle nodded again.
Then she felt Prentice’s body start shaking with gentle laughter.
His voice sounded highly satisfied when he remarked, “I bet he loved that.”
“We argued about it,” Elle whispered and Prentice’s gentle laughter became not so gentle. “A lot,” she added and Prentice’s not so gentle laughter became vocal.
Elle let his hand go, rolled in the circle of his arm and she looked up at his shadowed face.
“Laurent used to tell me Dad should have let you have me, considering the fact I wasn’t much of a wife.”
Prentice’s voice was still tinged with amusement but it was also firm when he replied, “I think the better way to put that, baby, is he wasn’t much of a husband.”
Elle remembered how hurtful Laurent’s words had been back then, believing that he was right. She couldn’t have children, she couldn’t respond to Laurent in bed, she hated to travel with him even though she tried to enjoy it as much as he did.
Now, that hurt slid away.
Because, Laurent was wrong and Prentice was right.
She might not have been the greatest wife but then again, she’d never loved him.
But Laurent had, in the beginning, declared his undying love and devotion to her and he could have at least tried to make her feel the same back.
And if he did, indeed, care for her so deeply, he wouldn’t have treated her so cruelly when he found out she couldn’t conceive, he would have taken more care of her when she didn’t respond in bed and he wouldn’t have forced her into the globe-trotting life she found so tedious.
And he wouldn’t have cheated on her repeatedly nor would he have been so hideously obvious about it.
Elle found herself getting angry, thus she declared, “He was a toad.”
Prentice’s body shook with laughter at the same time that laughter rose huskily from his throat. “No, baby, he was a fool.” She felt his hand glide down her back to cup her bottom and he continued, “He gave up this?” He gave her behind a squeeze and murmured, “Mad.”
Without her mind commanding her body to do so, she nuzzled closer and she found her mouth saying teasingly, “I’m getting the impression, Prentice Cameron, that you like my behind.”
“Aye,” he growled and his fingers flexed again, “though I wouldn’t put it that way.”
“And what way would you put it?”
His hand not at her bottom drifted into her hair and he used it to pull her head back so his mouth could descend to hers.
“I don’t like it, I love it,” he muttered against her mouth. “You have the sweetest ass I’ve ever seen.”