No, it wasn’t cool.
It was beautiful.
Finnie wasn’t secretive about doting on her husband and son either. And I knew it wasn’t hard to do, considering Frey was as he was and Viktor was an immensely active child (in other words, the sleigh ride was akin to toddler torture), but a sweet one.
In another way Frey was like Apollo, Viktor looked nothing like Finnie. He had inherited his father’s dark hair and green/brown eyes (or, they could also be brown/green, I hadn’t yet decided).
I wondered if given another shot and they had a girl, if she’d get Finnie’s hair and eyes.
And I wondered, if given a shot with Apollo, if we’d make a girl (or a boy) who had my red hair and freckles.
“Maddie?” Finnie called.
I blinked and focused on her.
“Sorry, I was on another planet.”
She grinned. “That happens.”
At her response to my unintentional pun, I grinned back.
Her grin faded and her eyes grew assessing. “Would you like to share?”
I would.
In fact, I needed to share.
This, I found, happened when you actually had someone you could trust to share with. Then again, it happened when you didn’t have someone too. It was just good that these days I had people to talk to.
Yet something more Apollo had given me.
Since I needed to share, I did it.
“Yes, he remembers his mother,” I responded to her earlier comment. “We were doing okay. I’ve been on this world for months now but I’ve only known the kids a few weeks. He was fine until recently when Apollo and I went to the gale, something he saw his parents do often. I don’t think before that he put the two of me being around and the two of me being around together. That night, seeing me with his father the way I was, he put it together.”
“I’ll bet,” she replied.
“He’s been detached since then,” I shared. “He’s told his father things are fine. And even though Apollo knows they aren’t, he’s letting him work through it on his own.”
“That’s a big thing to work through,” she noted.
She was so totally right about that.
But I said nothing.
“Have you approached?” Finnie asked.
“I think I should follow his dad’s lead,” I answered. “And seeing as it’s me he has a problem with, I’m not certain that’s the way to go.”
She screwed up her mouth as her gaze slid to Chris and she murmured, “I suppose you’re right.”
I supposed I was right too.
But only supposed.
“I’m happy for him,” she said, her eyes still aimed in Christophe’s direction, so I was confused.
“Chris?” I asked.
She turned and my breath caught at the look in her eyes.
“Apollo,” she whispered.
“Oh,” I whispered back.
“I…he is…” She shook her head. “He went through a dark time with me. In his way, he helped me through it, actually.” Cautiously, eyeing me closely, she finished, “He understood.”
I nodded.
“You know?” she asked.
“That you thought you lost Frey and that he lost Ilsa?”
It was her turn to nod.
“Yes. I know about Ilsa and Apollo’s told me the stories of all the other women of our world and their men. Or, what he knows to tell.”
“Then you would understand how Apollo means a great deal to me.”
“I do,” I said quietly.
“So I’m happy. Watching you two. Seeing the way he looks at you. Watching him smile and laugh. Honestly, Maddie, I’ve known him now for over two years, and although I’d seen him smile, I don’t know if I’ve ever heard him laugh. It makes me happy he has that. It makes me happy to see he’s happy you give it to him.”
I loved that.
I absolutely loved it.
I just wished I could give him more.
Not just smiles and laughter.
Things like what he gave me. Big things. Important things. Precious things.
Everything.
“It’s not my place to thank you.” She grinned. “But I’m going to do it anyway.”
I grinned back, it was a tad forced, but it was mostly genuine. “Pleased to be of service, especially that kind.”
“I appreciate you giving my wee wife a rest, Maddie, but I’ll take him now.”
I jumped slightly when Frey’s rich deep voice sounded at my other side. I had just enough time to turn my head and look up to see him already bending to me. Without delay, he whisked his son out of my arms.
He curled the tot to his broad chest, Viktor’s legs dangling over his dad’s forearm, his head resting on his shoulder, bringing to life the vision of one of those pictures with a hot guy and a kid that I used to see on calendars and such. Taking it in, I wondered if it would be hotter if Frey held a kitten instead of a kid.
Probably not.
Though, seeing him cradle his son, I’d like to see him cuddle a kitty.
Frey’s eyes went to his wife.
“I’ll put him down, my love.”
“All right, honey,” Finnie replied.
I felt something hollow out in my insides as I watched this exchange but I made certain my lips were smiling when Frey’s eyes came to my face before he dipped his chin and took off with Viktor.
I watched him go and when I turned back to Finnie, I saw she was also watching her husband go with a look on her face that I understood.
I felt that look. I felt it for Apollo. Maybe not that strong. Maybe without years and adventures and a baby making it stronger.
But I felt it.
Finnie gave her husband smiles and laughter. She also shared his adventures since they were both just that. Adventurers. She challenged his mind with her wit. She’d done brave things for a country that wasn’t even hers (though, now it was), going so far as killing a man.
She had much to give.
That empty feeling inside me grew.
When Finnie finally caught my eyes, she blinked and I knew by her expression she’d read my thoughts on my face.
Quickly, so she wouldn’t ask about it, I declared, “Frey and Apollo are a lot alike.”
“Cousins,” Finnie said.
“They are?” I asked and she nodded.
“Yep. Frey’s grandmother Eugenie was an Ulfr.” Her lips were quirking when she remarked, “You’ve met the Drakkars.”
I fought back my shudder before I confirmed, “Yes.”
“Well then you know there had to be some good blood coming from somewhere to make Frey and his brothers.” She leaned into me and her lips were no longer quirking. She caught me fighting back the shudder so she was now smiling. “That was Eugenie.”