I felt my lips part in shock, his eyes dropped to them then they came back to mine, warm and sweet.
“I know who you are, my love. I know how you’ve come to me. I know you are Finnie.”
Oh. My. God!
He knew I was Finnie!
“How –?”
“That doesn’t matter, just know I know and we don’t need to speak of it. We never need to speak of it. This is the now and you have no choice but to live in the now. You never have a choice but to live in the now. And this, my wee Finnie, this is where we will live. We will always live in our now.”
I felt my eyes start to fill with tears (yes! again!) because he knew and he understood and it felt like a weight had lifted from me. He knew about me, who I was and how I came to him and he apparently understood the way it was between us and that it would end and therefore we had to live in the now.
But even as that weight lifted and I started to feel light, immediately something else started to drag me down and I whispered, “Frey –”
He interrupted me by touching his mouth to mine.
When he lifted his head, his eyes held mine and he whispered, “You are not in the now, Finnie.”
I wasn’t. I was thinking about the future and leaving him.
Shit.
“Come to the now, wee one,” he urged and I nodded.
The now. That sounded like something Dad would say. Live in the now.
And I would live in the now with Frey. And I’d enjoy every second of it while I had it.
Then a knock came at the door.
I held his eyes.
Then, forcing myself into the now, I joked, “The now, apparently, means food.”
He grinned. Then he said, “This is good since I’m starved. My wife worked all my energy out of me.”
“Don’t pretend you didn’t like it,” I teased.
“I am not,” he stated with all seriousness and the weight of those three words made me go still under him as he continued, “It was beyond anything I could have wished it to be. You are, my wee Finnie, beyond my wildest dreams.”
Oh my God. Did he just say that?
I stared at him and it hit me not only did he just say that, he meant it.
Then my eyes flooded with tears and I whispered, “Oh shit,” lifted my face and shoved it in his throat as I burst into tears and I did this loudly.
Another knock came at the door.
Frey gently pulled out of me, rolled to his back, settled me into his side, hauled up the covers and held me close as he shouted, “Enter!” and I tensed but that didn’t keep me from continuing to sob into his skin.
The door opened, I shoved closer to Frey and held on tighter.
As did he.
Then I heard him order, “Leave it and us. Quickly.”
I smelled food and heard clinking and clunking then, shortly after that stopped, a door closed.
Frey held me tightly long after the door closed and I kept sobbing not realizing how badly I needed to do it but I’d apparently bottled a lot in because there was a lot coming out and in the safety of his strong arms, I let it go.
Once the sobs started to subside, one of Frey’s hands moved under his sweater and up to stroke the skin of my back as I snuffled and lifted a hand to wipe my face.
“All right, wee one?” he asked softly.
“Mm hmm,” I mumbled, nodding my head, resting my cheek on his shoulder and wrapping my arm around him again.
Frey kept stroking my back.
It felt really nice.
And it was then I thought of when we were riding to Fyngaard and Frey telling me about the villages, their names and their gods and what the rivers and forests were called.
He knew then. He knew.
It all came to me in a rush, his gentle explanations, his patience, those weird times when I’d watch him come to some understanding, times that were now not so weird.
He knew. And he’d known for awhile.
“When did you know?” I whispered to his chest.
“Finnie –”
I gave him a squeeze and repeated, “Tell me, when did you know?”
Frey was quiet a second. Then he sighed.
Then he said, “In my gut, when you kissed me back when I kissed you in the Dwelling of the Gods after we were wed. And every second I spent with you after I returned to the cabin, I knew you were not who you appeared to be. You are not a thing like her yet you look exactly the same. I knew something was not right with you. The elves verified it and shared with me that you are not of this world.”
I pulled in a quiet breath.
“Their message,” I guessed.
“Yes,” Frey confirmed.
I nodded and thought that was kind of cool that they knew. And hopefully, the next time Frey spoke to them, he would take me with him and I could ask them how they knew.
Then I got back to the now.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked softly.
His hand stilled at my back for a second then started stroking again when he answered, “Partly, it was because there was much you were taking in and I was concerned about you. But I will admit, my wee one, mostly it was because I enjoyed your response to my world, your blunders, your cover ups. They amused me.” I lifted my head and he looked right in my eyes. “Greatly.” He stressed then grinned before he said, “It was very endearing.”
I grinned back then stated, “You know, I should be pissed at you for keeping it from me.”
His grin turned to a smile, his arm curving around me and holding tight, he stated back, “I know.”
I started laughing softly and informed him, “It’s good you’re hot, Frey Drakkar, and good in bed and command elves and dragons or you’d seriously be in trouble.”
He kept smiling but his brows drew together. “Hot?”
I nodded. “Hot. Handsome, good-looking, pleasing to the eye,” I leaned into him, “hot.”
He tipped his chin back and laughed then, still laughing, rolled me to my back, his arm around my belly tucking my side into his front, he looked down at me and quit laughing.
“And it is good you are beautiful, Finnie Drakkar, or you would have a very pink arse for risking such a venture.”
I blinked at him.
Finnie Drakkar.
Shit, but that had a nice ring to it.
Then all his words hit me and I felt my brows draw together. “A pink arse for risking such a venture?”
He nodded and his face again grew serious. “This…” he hesitated, “travel to another world. It was foolhardy.”
What?
“What?” I asked.
“You had no idea what you would encounter and I know when you arrived, wife. I know you encountered a situation that was beyond your means to control it. As you know, I do not care for the other you.”