I’d been happy then.
I’d been normal then.
I didn’t have to pretend.
I had it all.
And then my father took it all away.
“You good?”
Jake’s voice pulled me from my maudlin thoughts and I looked to hm.
“Yes,” I answered.
“Warm enough?” he went on.
“Indeed, Jake.” I quieted my voice when I said with feeling, “Thank you for the scarf.”
I got the slight smile with soft eyes before he carried on, “Can you see okay?”
He was so very kind, considerate…amazing.
I nodded.
“Good,” he murmured, looking to the field and giving me a squeeze, which pressed me even deeper to his side.
I wanted to keep pretending. I really did. And how I wanted to do that was to press even closer. Put my head on his shoulder. Wrap my arm around his back and hold him to me too. Even wrap both my arms around him, stomach and back, keeping him close.
But I couldn’t keep pretending.
And further, I had to find a restroom.
“Before things start, I need to use the facilities,” I told his profile and got his eyes, which were now not softly smiling but openly doing it, as was his mouth.
“Right, Slick. The facilities are behind the concession stand, south end of the field,” he informed me, tipping his head to the left.
“Thanks, Jake,” I murmured. “I’ll be back.”
“You got time. Game doesn’t start for fifteen minutes,” he told me as I stood but he carried on. “Sayin’ that, hurry.”
I looked down at him to see him looking in the vicinity of my behind in my jeans exposed by my gray suede jacket before his eyes drifted up and caught mine and they were still smiling.
“I’ll hurry,” I assured him then I did just that.
I hurried.
Or, at least I started out hurrying.
After I washed my hands and left the restrooms, I mentally shook myself from the fantasy world I’d allowed myself to live in all day.
It was pleasant being there and it was lovely giving myself that but I couldn’t stay there for long. I had to remember how things were. If I stayed in that world too long, I knew I’d eventually get a reminder that it wasn’t mine and the pain that would cause would be harder to overcome the longer I allowed myself to pretend.
On this thought, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and looked right to see Conner standing under a light pole some distance away from the bleachers but also not close to the concession stand.
He was standing with a flaxen-haired girl who was quite curvy, quite tall and very attractive. I also liked the way that it didn’t seem she cared what people thought of her attire. She was trussed up warm but she’d managed to do it fashionably with a thick loosely woven oyster-colored scarf around her neck and a dusky pink corduroy jacket. She was even wearing a cute pair of mittens.
She was also standing close to Conner, looking up at him and smiling in an appealing way that was genuine if a little timid.
She must be Ellie and just seeing her made me agree further with Ethan that I hoped Conner chose her in the end.
Jake’s eldest must have sensed my eyes for his came to me; he grinned and jerked up his chin. Ellie looked my way and as she did so, slid slightly closer to Conner who took that opportunity to curve his arm around her shoulders.
Yes, they looked lovely together.
I gave them a wave and a smile and decided not to approach. This was a high school football game and he was with his girl (or one of them). He didn’t need an adult intruding.
But as I moved away, I took in the lines standing in front of the concession stand. I also noted that the game had not started although the players had taken the field and were warming up. And finally, it occurred to me that hot drinks might warm Jake and me from the inside.
Therefore, I moved to the back of the somewhat long line, pulled my phone out of my purse and called him.
He answered with, “You get lost?”
I laughed softly and replied, “No, Jake. But I’m in line at the concession stand. I thought we could use a hot beverage. Would you like a coffee or cocoa?”
“I’ll meet you there.”
So.
Very.
Amazing.
“Jake, I can handle a few drinks. What do you want?”
“I’ll be there in a minute and I’ll get it.”
“Jake,” I said softly. “You bought dinner at The Eaves, and our omelets, and dinner tonight. In return, the least I can do is purchase two beverages and carry them back to the bleachers. Further, if you leave our seats, we might lose them.”
“The blanket’s here,” was his reply and at hearing it, I burst out laughing.
Yes.
So.
Very.
Amazing.
When I stopped laughing, I asked, “You’re quite determined to take care of me, aren’t you?”
His voice was low in a way my stomach dipped when he returned, “Glad you noticed.”
I couldn’t not notice, and with the way he behaved, I was finding it hard not to pretend.
My voice was just above a whisper when I requested, “Please let me buy you a drink.”
“Hot chocolate,” he finally ordered and I smiled into the phone.
“For Ethan?” I asked.
“Ethan’s got ten bucks. He wants something, he’ll get it. But it won’t be hot chocolate. It’ll be a load of crap.”
I was still smiling when I replied, “All right,” then moved the two centimeters forward that the line had moved. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“Later, Slick.”
“Later, Jake.”
I rang off at the same time I became aware that the young man in front of me was staring at me openly, his lips parted.
As I became aware of this, I noted that he was somewhat short, very slim, obviously effeminate and he was wearing a daring pair of houndstooth trousers. He’d accompanied these with a rather stylish pair of black suede loafers and a black turtleneck sweater.
The ensemble could use a fedora as a finishing touch but regardless of that assessment, I was taken with his flair for fashion.
“Hello,” I said when he continued to stare at me in apparent astonishment.
“You’re Josie,” he informed me of a truth that was nevertheless surprising that he knew.
“Indeed I am,” I confirmed. “And you are?”
He stuck his hand out. “Taylor. I’m Amber’s bestest bestie. Or one of them.”
Ah.
The Jean-Michel devotee.