Layne burst out laughing again and rolled to his back, taking Rocky with him so she was on top. He knew she wasn’t seriously pissed and they were playing at bickering when she scooted down and settled with her cheek to his chest and her arm around him. He lifted a hand and slid it through her hair, then again, and repeat.
“Baby,” he called and she mumbled, “Mm?”
“The third time, you said, you needed Atticus,” he stated and her head and hand came up but only so she could rest her chin on her hand in his chest and look at him.
“What?”
“In class today, you said the third time you read To Kill a Mockingbird, you needed Atticus,” he felt her body get tight and he pushed, “when was that?”
“Layne –”
“When was that?”
“I don’t –”
His hand twisted in her hair and his other arm went around her, pulling her up his chest so they were face to face.
“When was that?” he repeated.
She was silent and this silence spread.
Then she whispered, “When I lost my real-life version of him.”
“Jesus,” Layne whispered back instantly.
She’d said, Atticus Finch is the most beautiful man I’ve ever met in print. He’s a good dad and he does what’s right, not what’s safe, not what’s popular. What’s right. He’s gentle. He’s smart. He’s strong. He’s decisive and he’s willing to follow through with his decisions, no matter what the odds.
“Jesus,” he repeated, still whispering.
Rocky took advantage of his immobility and moved, making her point by brushing her lips lightly against the scar beneath his shoulder then putting her cheek there, her arm around his abs, pinning him to the bed.
“You aren’t the same as him, of course, Atticus wasn’t a badass, or, if he was, he was a quiet one. But Atticus was about doing what was right and you were too and still are. And I missed you so, when I read it again, because I was missing you and I figured I’d never have anything like that again, it was all about Atticus because if I couldn’t have it, it felt good to be able to spend time with it in my head.”
She stopped speaking, Layne stared at the dark ceiling and Rocky’s arm tightened around him.
“You have it again.”
That came from Layne, his voice thick.
“Weird,” she whispered. “I thought it was perfect but somehow it’s better this time around.”
At her words, Layne was done and he communicated this by rolling her to her back, covering her with his body and kissing her hard and deep.
Rocky kissed him back. Then she did other things to him, he did other things to her and she ended up sliding out of bed, finding her nightshirt, going to the bathroom, cleaning up, coming back to bed where she pinned him and fell instantly to sleep.
Layne didn’t. Layne wanted to believe but he couldn’t. He’d believed before and his beautiful life was torn from him.
So tomorrow, he was talking to Garret Merrick even if he had to hunt the man down.
Chapter Twenty
Good Girl
“Dave, I’m bein’ serious here, it takes much longer for him to contact me, it won’t be good,” Layne in his chair behind his desk, swiveled to look out the window toward Main as he growled in his phone.
“I hear what you’re sayin’, Tanner, and all I got for you is work it out with Roc,” Rocky’s father replied.
“Bullshit,” Layne hissed. “And that’s the same bullshit Merry fed me.”
“Are things not good?” Dave asked.
“They’re f**kin’ great,” Layne answered.
“So maybe you’ll explain to me what your f**kin’ problem is,” Dave suggested, losing patience, just like Layne.
“They were f**kin’ great before too,” Layne reminded him.
“She’s not a girl anymore, Tanner.”
“Yeah, Dave, I lived and aged those eighteen years right along with Rocky. And a week ago, I also held her in my arms in the dark while she was beggin’ me to let in the light and felt a fear so disturbing, swear to God, I still feel it on my skin.”
Dave was silent and this silence was loaded.
Layne filled the silence. “I need to know what that shit is.”
Dave didn’t reply.
“I also need to know why both your kids hooked up with people they instantly knew they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with and then dropped them, without a word, without a reason and didn’t look back,” Layne went on.
“Roc looked back, son, you’re together,” Dave argued.
“I think you catch my point,” Layne shot back.
“You need to work this out with Roc,” Dave repeated.
“Jesus Christ, what’s the big f**kin’ secret?” Layne exploded.
Dave changed the subject by shifting blame. “Last time, you let her get away.”
“Bullshit,” Layne clipped, with that incendiary comment, his anger, already primed, was about to detonate.
“You let her get away,” Dave reiterated.
“Wait, wasn’t that you who barred the door the fifty f**kin’ times I came over, wanting to talk to her?” Layne’s voice was sarcastic.
“Why are we talking about this? It’s water under the bridge, you both have moved on and found each other again,” Dave informed him, again shifting the point.
Layne brought it back. “Whatever that was that I felt comin’ from Roc was not history. It was real, it was now and it f**kin’ terrified her. She’s your daughter, man, does this not worry the f**k outta you?”
“No,” Dave stated instantly. “No, it doesn’t. Not anymore. Now that she’s got you.”
“God damn it, Dave,” Layne ground out.
“Can you explain to me why you won’t talk to her about this?” Dave asked.
“Are you serious?” Layne asked back.
“Deadly,” Dave snapped.
“All right, I lost her once and I do not get why, even though she explained it I’ll repeat, I do not get why. This time my boys are in the mix. They like her; they think she’s the shit. The longer they’re around her, the more they’re gonna like her. Then they’ll fall for her, like their old man, hook, line and sinker. The fact that I lost her once and the way you and Merry are actin’ tells me I gotta tread cautiously. You know the landmines you’re dodgin’, I have no f**kin’ clue and you’re not givin’ me shit. I’m walkin’ that minefield blindfolded and any second I can step on one of those mines. I’m stuck, Dave, I can’t move. I move; I could f**k this up. You think I’d do anything, anything, to f**k this up? To f**k this for me, for my boys, for Rocky?”