Fuck.
*
“Do me a favor,” Mike stated as he walked into our bedroom.
“What?” I asked, rubbing lotion into my hands.
Mike stopped at the foot of the bed. “Never, ever dance with f**king Ryker again.”
I burst out laughing.
Mike did not.
I forced it down to a chuckle and said through it, “It was fun.”
“Jesus,” he muttered and his hands went to the buttons of his white, pleated-front tuxedo shirt.
I shifted my legs and slid them under the covers of our bed.
Mike dropped his shirt to the floor.
“She rear her head?” he asked the floor, hands working at his belt.
He was talking about Debbie.
“When I checked my phone after dinner, she’d called three times.”
Mike’s eyes came to me.
“You return the calls?”
I shook my head and said quietly, “Fin’s rules, Rees backed him up. She wasn’t a part of today.”
Mike nodded, turning his eyes away.
“She sat through the whole day in a hotel room by the highway waiting for the all-clear to join the party,” I told him something he already knew.
“Good place for her to be,” Mike remarked.
Cautiously, I stated, “It’s a long time to hold a grudge, honey.”
Mike’s eyes came back. “She tried to take away his livelihood, his legacy and his most precious memory of his father just because she was pissed that you had me. Do you not think that’s worth a long grudge?”
I bit my lip and Mike watched. I didn’t answer but that was my answer and Mike knew it.
So he muttered, “Right.”
Mike too, obviously, was holding a grudge. Even longer than me. His rules were the same as Fin’s. My sister did not enter our lives. Not when we were married. Not when I had Austin. Not when I had Mandy. Never.
Infrequently, I spoke with her though I didn’t share this with Mike however he was a cop and a smart guy on top of that so I suspected he knew. These conversations were mostly informative and uncomfortable. I knew she was sorry. I also knew she had no clue how to say that. So she didn’t.
Until she figured it out, she was missing out.
On everything.
Mike and Fin’s decree. Apologize or stay cast out.
I thought it was a heavy penance. They didn’t agree. And seeing as they were both macho, badasses, I didn’t want to go there so I let it be.
I settled back, Mike finished disrobing and put on his pajama bottoms.
He was walking to the bed to join me when I asked, “Mandy and Austin down and out?
“Yep,” he answered, throwing back the covers and folding in.
I started to roll into him and halfway there I had help when Mike shoved his arm under me and pulled me the rest of the way.
I lifted my head to look down at him.
“You okay?” I asked gently.
“Great day, weird feeling. Hated every second of it just as much as I loved it. But they’re right together. He’d move heaven and earth for her, she feels the same. So I suppose if I gotta let her go, a man as fine as your nephew is the best bet I have.”
I studied his face.
God, he didn’t get it.
“You haven’t noticed,” I whispered and Mike’s brows drew together.
“Pardon?”
“Honey, Fin claimed her seven years ago.”
His arm around me got tight and he started, “Dusty –”
“He did,” I cut him off. “And you haven’t noticed that even though he did, you never had to let her go. Which means you never do. None of you. No either. She’s all of yours and you’ve lucked out because, with Reesee, she’s got a lot to spread around.”
I watched his eyes warm, his face get soft and felt his hand come up and cup my cheek.
“Fuck, I love you, Angel.”
I grinned at him and whispered, “Yeah.”
His thumb moved on my cheek as his eyes held mine.
“You have a good day?” he asked.
“The best,” I answered, feeling my grin get bigger.
“So now’s a good time to hit you up,” he noted.
I pressed closer and dipped my face to his.
His hand left my cheek so both arms could slide around me and I whispered, “Oh yeah.”
His face suddenly got serious and he whispered back, “Then, darlin’, we need to get a dog.” I felt my body get tight but Mike’s arms got tighter and he kept talking. “A dog makes a house safer and it completes a family. I wanna give that to Austin and Mandy, not to mention you and me.”
“Mike –”
“Dusty,” he stated firmly and I stared at him.
Layla had died two years ago. Mike was devastated. So were No and Rees. Even Fin was upset about it. And Kirby.
I came unraveled.
“I can’t,” I whispered.
“Honey –”
“He would have shot me again, Mike.”
His arms got so tight, the breath left me.
I forced some back in and reminded him of something he didn’t want to be reminded of.
“She went at him. If she didn’t, he would have finished me. She made it possible for me to have everything I have today. I can’t replace her. Not yet. I can’t.”
“Okay, Angel,” Mike whispered.
“Give me time.”
“All right.”
I dropped my head and pressed my face in his throat.
“Fucked up. Good day. Shouldn’t have mentioned it.”
Layla had been my constant companion from that black day onward. Before that day, she was Mike’s. After that day, she was mine. She knew with some dog sense she saved my life and she took that responsibility seriously. There was never another threat but that didn’t mean she left my side. She’d wander. Go out to take care of business. But she knew what she did for me and she knew how I felt about it. So she always stayed close.
My golden girl.
“You didn’t f**k up,” I whispered and lifted my head to look down at him again. “Today was a day of making happy memories and remembering old ones. And all that was Layla was one, big, happy memory.”
He smiled a gentle smile at me and whispered, “Yeah.”
I grinned and reminded him, “And she loved Ryker.”
Mike rolled his eyes to the headboard.
I chuckled.
Then I slid my hand up his chest and curled my fingers around his neck, sharing more happy memories, “Today, Darrin would have been freaking thrilled. You with me. Us making Austin and Mandy. And Fin finding Reesee and making her his in front of God and everybody. He would have been smiling big all…fucking…day.”