I watched the wound grow fainter for long moments thinking that was wild and totally freaking cool.
I folded and returned the towel to its loop and looked back at my reflection the mirror.
It had been a week and a half since we had the visits from our families. I was surprised but definitely not displeased that Lucien spent that entire time with me. We made love. He fed. We cooked together. We ate together. We walked to the lake and swam together. Ditto in the pool. We lay in bed or on the couch in the comfy seating area off the kitchen and whispered to each other or napped, doing both holding each other close. Lucien took me out to dinner twice. He took me shopping once. I made him watch a movie with me snuggled on the couch. I learned about his life, his family and vampires. I also learned he knew most everything about me but still, he liked hearing me tell my stories anyway.
The outside world intruded, of course. Edwina was there, quietly taking care of the house, stocking the fridge, sometimes clucking around us like a mother hen but usually making herself scarce because she felt the mood. My mother called, Aunt Nadia too, Stephanie, my sister and a couple of my cousins. They were worried about the nightmares I assured them (truthfully) I was no longer having. But I made short work of allaying their fears so I could get back to Lucien.
He also received calls, mostly business which he would take with me close. Sometimes they were about other things. Those he would take elsewhere. I was curious and wanted to ask because I sensed they were about me. But I didn’t because if it was bad, I didn’t want to know. Not then. Not in that golden time I fell in love with a vampire.
I stared at myself in the mirror, smiling.
There it was. Proof.
I was demented. Totally.
I was in love with Lucien.
I couldn’t have him, not like I could one of my own, to take vows with, make children with and grow old with. I also couldn’t have him like in the time before The Revolution, to take vows with, not make children with but to spend eternity together.
And I didn’t care.
I had him now. I loved him now.
And I knew it was in a way that I would love him for my forever.
To put it simply, there were not many girls who got the chance to fall in love with a vampire. To have his attention, his protection, his body, his humor, his generosity, his gentleness. He could be bossy and annoying but that was just him and he was hot doing it so although we exchanged words because he was who he was and I was too, it never amounted to much. I had been right, as crazy as it sounded. He had all the good stuff down pat and was the best boyfriend ever.
I didn’t know how long it would last, what we had. And I no longer cared.
Because I had it now and I would have it for a while and even when it was gone, I’d always have the memories we were making. And the moments we shared that would make the memories of years to come were so much better than anything I’d ever experienced, anything any woman would ever experience, were enough for me.
I knew it down to my bones.
The Mighty Vampire Lucien was mine… for now. So I was going to do whatever I had to do to make really f**king great memories.
But even more important, I was his. And, just as he promised, me giving him me meant something to him. Not something small, something huge. Something meaningful. Something sweet.
I knew that down to my bones too.
He loved me. He couldn’t be the way he was with me and not feel what I was feeling. It was impossible.
The strictures of his culture meant we couldn’t have forever. But he was just as intent as me to take what he could from the now and make it sweet.
I knew it. I knew it.
Right to the heart of me.
And he had been right. What he could give me when I gave him myself was beautiful.
I looked away from the mirror still smiling and wandered into the bedroom. Today was the end of our long, romantic interlude. He had an important meeting to attend that morning. To spend time with me, he’d postponed it twice which, he told me, was two times too many. However, he assured me, once it was done, he’d be back.
Therefore, I was a little surprised when I hit the bedroom that he was still in bed since I knew he needed to leave soon. But there he was. The covers down to his waist, chest exposed, arms lifted, his head resting on his hands and he was staring at the ceiling.
The urge came over me and I didn’t even try to suppress it. I had memories to make.
So I took off running across the large room. I saw his head come up and I launched myself on the bed, my body landing full-length on his large one.
He grunted, his body cocking at the h*ps but his arms locking around me as we bounced.
“Jesus, Leah,” he muttered when we settled, his lips twitching.
I planted my hands on his shoulders and smiled into his beautiful face.
“Right, so, something to take with you to your meeting that we’ll celebrate when you get back with fillet mignon smothered in homemade béarnaise sauce,” I started. His lip twitch became a grin and my smile got bigger before I did what I needed to do to make one, huge, beautiful f**king memory and without further ado announced, “I’m in love with you, Mighty Vampire Lucien.”
His grin died instantly even as his arms spasmed around me.
I felt my stomach clench.
Oh God.
“Leah,” he whispered, his deep voice sounding funny, rough, tortured. Exactly like it did the morning after the first time he fed when he nearly killed me.
Oh God!
I thought he felt the same or, if not the same, then something. He had to. With how hard he worked to get it, everything we shared, he had to.
But looking at his face I knew he didn’t.
Oh God!
He didn’t.
I didn’t expect this. I never dreamed he didn’t feel the same as me. I could rejoice in the time we had, albeit short, if he returned my feelings.
I couldn’t bear it if he did not.
I didn’t know what to do.
But my body knew what to do and it prepared for escape.
Lucien felt it and in a nanosecond I was on my back with Lucien on top of me.
I knew I had no shot at getting away from him so I did the only thing I could do. I turned my head away and closed my eyes tight.
God. God.
My vampire didn’t love me.
“Sweetling, look at me,” Lucien urged softly.
“Please, get off me,” I whispered and my voice sounded funny too. Rough. Tortured.
His big hand slid between my cheek and the pillow and he whispered, “Leah, sweetheart, please, look at me.”
I didn’t look at him but I said quietly, “I shouldn’t have said it. Forget I said it.”