I decided that was a good idea. I was, I should note, wrong.
I didn’t know that so I informed him, “Instead of taking the essay test at the end of the first day, I wrote my will.”
“Your will?”
“My last Will and Testament. It freaked out some of the girls. It took the instructor a while to calm them down. I didn’t mean to –”
I was so busy explaining, I missed his narrowing of the eyes. I should have paid attention.
His voice sounded angry, this time definitely at me, when he cut me off by asking, “Why in the f**k were you writing your will in Vampire Studies?”
Oh my.
Maybe I shouldn’t have admitted to being expelled. It was clear I definitely shouldn’t have explained why.
It was too late. I had to finish it.
“You’re a vampire,” I stated the obvious.
“Yes. And?”
“You suck people’s blood.”
“If you’d paid attention in class, my pet, you’d know we prefer to call it feeding.”
“Whatever,” I waved my hand between us again, “it’s still my blood. Things can go wrong. What if something goes wrong?”
His eyes narrowed further. “Nothing will go wrong.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I’ve been doing this for a long time.”
“What if you get really hungry?”
“I’ll repeat, if you’d paid attention in class, you’d know the answer to that.”
“Well I didn’t so maybe you should tell me.”
“I don’t have the time, or the inclination, to tell you.”
At his words, my body froze and I felt my blood begin to race. “So you’re going to su… I mean, feed? Now?”
He stared at me then closed his eyes and pulled in a deep breath. When he opened them again they were at my throat.
My heart started beating so fast I could feel it.
“No,” he said softly, “not now.” His hand at my hip moved, sliding down the side of my thigh to my knee. Then up again. Then back again. The slit of my gown having opened, this meant his gentle movements were skin against skin.
This felt nice. I didn’t want to admit it but my body wasn’t letting me deny it.
I ignored my body and whispered, “Why not now?”
“Your heart is beating too fast, my pet. If something could go wrong, which it won’t, that’s what would make it go wrong.”
“How do you know my heart’s beating too fast?”
“I can hear it.”
“Really?”
He nodded.
Of course he could. I would have probably learned that in class too.
“What could go wrong?” I asked.
He studied me likely weighing the wisdom of answering.
Then he said, “After you’ve had enough, I have to stop the blood from coming so I can heal the wound. If it’s pumping too much, I might not be able to do that.”
“That doesn’t sound good,” I whispered.
“It wouldn’t be,” he replied, his hand still stroking my thigh. “That’s why we need to calm you down.”
“I’m not sure that’ll work,” I admitted. “Me calming down, I mean.”
He slid his arm out from under his upper body but bent his elbow and put his head in his hand. This pressed his warm chest against my side and brought his face a whole lot closer to mine.
“Let’s try, shall we?” he suggested.
I didn’t want to try. In fact, I felt hope for the first time in a week. Actually, for the first time in four weeks, since I got my invitation to The Selection.
“Maybe we shouldn’t do this tonight,” I tried. “Maybe we should try tomorrow night. Or,” I hesitated, “next week.”
Or never but I wasn’t going to go that far, not yet.
My very weak hope was dashed.
“I can’t,” he replied.
“Why not?”
He sighed and his hand stopped stroking my thigh. His fingers curled into my hip again and he rolled me to my side facing him as his legs came out from under mine and he stretched out full-length beside me. His arm moved around me, his hand sliding up my back to catch a tendril of hair and start playing with it.
“I’ll give you a little lesson you should have learned in studies,” he began with a disapproving tone before I could give into hyperventilating at our newer, far more intimate, position.
I pulled my lips between my teeth and nodded.
“Five weeks ago, I informed The Council I would be releasing my concubine and I’d need to attend A Selection. A week ago, three hours before I arrived at your Selection, she and I officially ended our Arrangement. By law I’m not allowed to feed until I have my new concubine. Not even at A Feast. This means I haven’t fed in a week. That’s a long time, my pet,” he finished on a whisper and then went right on whispering, “I need you. Tonight.”
I ignored his admission of need, which made me feel strangely aroused. What helped that arousal (too much), was the way he whispered, his deep voice soft and low and somehow physical.
Instead, I asked, “What’s a feast?”
His hand went from playing almost tenderly (all right, so it was tenderly, I couldn’t deny it) with my hair, to sliding down my back and drawing circles at its small.
That felt nice too, both my body and mind admitted it without delay or quarrel. It just felt nice. Really nice.
“That I’ll let your mother or Edwina explain,” he told me, still talking low.
“So you’re hungry?”
He nodded and answered, “Very.”
“Why do you have to wait? That seems stupid.”
Something passed across his face, annoyance, definitely, impatience also, frustration too, I was pretty certain. Then there looked to be defiance but that was so fleeting I couldn’t be sure.
“It isn’t smart, you’re correct, however it’s also the law,” he answered.
“Wouldn’t that make the first bloodletting, the initiation, rather dangerous if the vampire is hungry?”
I thought he’d lie.
Instead he agreed by saying, “Yes.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” I whispered and I could feel my heart, which had been slowing, start to speed up again.
“I was there when they wrote the law and I still don’t understand it.” He stopped speaking because I wasn’t listening.
I was panicking.
His head cocked slightly then his fingers ceased drawing on my back and his hand flattened, moving over my bottom and up to my hip.