Drew nods and doesn’t argue. I know she’s been avoiding him, too, even in debate. “I miss having her around.”
“Get used to it,” I say and I turn the TV back on.
CHAPTER 48
Nastya
I turn away from the mirror to catch Drew walking into the girls’ bathroom in the back corner of the drama department. The drama teachers have planning this period and I’ve learned that this bathroom is almost always empty. So it’s my favorite.
“I assume we’re alone,” he says, turning and locking the door. “You know this is like the fourth bathroom I’ve looked for you in. I was starting to fear for my safety.”
“Seriously, Drew?” I whisper and it’s barely audible because I don’t care if he locked the door and no one’s around.
“I miss you,” he says, like this is a valid excuse.
“You’ll live.”
“You miss me, too. Admit it, Nastypants.”
He’s right. I miss the crap out of him.
“What is that, anyway? Nastypants? You make me sound like I shit myself.”
He looks down at my jeans as if he’s considering this.
“I’m here to drag you out of your social abyss.”
“You’re here to ask me for a favor, so get on with it, because I don’t like talking here.”
“I need your bodyguard services this Friday.”
“No, no, and no again. And wait. Hold on a second. No.”
“What if I say please?”
“What if I say no?” He’s trying to give me the look, but he and I are so far past the look that it’s ridiculous. “You don’t need me to get you through one night. Just tell everyone you’re meeting me after. They’ll buy it.”
“No one will buy that after you and Josh. No one’s going to believe I’d do that.”
“There’s nothing you wouldn’t do.”
“That’s the only thing I wouldn’t do and everybody knows it. The only person in the world I wouldn’t screw over is Josh.”
“We’re not talking about it, so stop bringing up his name and trying to insinuate him into this conversation.”
“He is in this conversation whether I say his name or not.”
He holds his hands up in surrender at the glare I shoot him. I will not talk about Josh.
“Fine. All I have to say is that I thought I had self-destructive tendencies but you two make me look well-adjusted.”
“Is he alright?”
“Actually I’m pretty sure he’s the opposite of alright, but I’m also pretty sure that you knew that when you asked.”
“What did he tell you?”
“Nope. Not playing this game. You’re the one who made the rules. Not going to talk about Josh.” He makes himself comfortable on the bathroom counter like we’re in his kitchen at home. “Now, subject at hand. They don’t need to think that I’m with you. I just need you to come and keep me in line. If you don’t, I’ll end up walking through the house, asking every single person if they’ve seen her. And then I’ll probably say shitty things about her just to have an excuse to say her name or get her attention.” He doesn’t say her name now but it’s no secret who he’s talking about. “You have to save me from myself. And save yourself from utter boredom and solitude in the process. Win-win.”
There isn’t any win for me in this situation. I’d rather staple my lips to my tongue than go to a party tonight. I climb up next to him on the counter and let out all the air in my lungs and he does the same.
“I should just go back to the way I was before,” he says. “I used to be so awesome and she made me suck.”
“If that’s what you want, do it. Start tonight. You won’t have any problem finding some girl willing to accompany you on the road back to soulless debauchery.”
He doesn’t respond, because he and I both know what he lost on that path already, and he hasn’t forgiven himself for it. I don’t know if there’s another solution but I try to offer him one.
“Isn’t there another girl you can ask out? For real? Try to have a normal relationship? You messed everything up with Tierney, but you could actually try to learn from that and do it right this time.” It’s an asinine suggestion. If he told me to learn from my mistakes with Josh and put that knowledge to use with someone else, I’d dislocate his jaw. But it’s all I’ve got to go with right now. “What about Tessa Walter?” I suggest.
He shakes his head. “Crazy eyes.”
“Macy Singleton?”
“Laughs too loud.”
“Audrey Lake?”
This time he glares at me like I’ve just suggested he date the Antichrist.
“She says supposably.” If Drew Leighton were a woman, this would be his unforgivable thing.
“So why don’t you just try again with Tierney?” She’s the only one he really wants. I could name every girl in this school and he would find the flaw in every last one of them.
“I can’t ask her to forgive me. I wouldn’t respect her if she did. I don’t deserve it.”
I don’t deserve it either. I’m not enough of a hypocrite to argue.
“Can’t we just skip it? You don’t have to go. You never even drink at these parties. Why would you want to hang out with a bunch of drunk ass**les for no reason?” It’s true. It took me a while to pick up on it, but once I did, I never stopped noticing. Drew gets a drink as soon as he walks in and he carries it around the whole night, so everyone assumes he’s drinking, but he never is.
“You noticed that, huh?” He’s almost impressed. “You’re the first one.”
“I’m guessing there’s a reason.” I’m expecting him to say something about having to drive, but that’s not what I get.
“Kara Matthews,” he answers, like this explains everything, but he knows it doesn’t and I wait for him to give me the rest. “I don’t even remember doing it. Tierney ripped me to shreds for hours that day and she was right. She was right about everything she said about me, except the fact that I didn’t care about her. But everything else she nailed me on. I got so lit that night that I would have screwed anyone at that party. I shit all over Tierney and everything and I don’t even remember doing it.”
“And you think if you weren’t so drunk you wouldn’t have done it?”