“I don’t have anything left to throw up.”
“Yet you’re still dry-heaving. This isn’t normal, even for the flu. You don’t have a fever.”
My abs are starting to ache as I continue to heave over the toilet.
“Nat, don’t make me call my mother.”
“She’ll side with me,” I reply.
“Fine, I’ll call Luke.”
“No, he can’t do anything from L.A.
anyway.”
More heaving. God, there’s nothing left in me! What is wrong with me?
“Okay, Nat… get in the goddamn car.
Here’s a bucket.” Jules shoves a big plastic bowl under my face and helps me to my feet. “An hour of uncontrollable barfing is too much. You’re probably dehydrated.”
She helps me into the car and takes me to a nearby hospital emergency room.
Surprisingly, it’s fairly quiet and I’m processed through triage and into a room quickly. I’m thankful that Jules is with me
to
give
them
my
personal
information; I can’t stop heaving long enough to form a sentence.
I manage to give a urine sample and change into a hospital gown.
“Natalie, I’m Mo. I’ll be your nurse today. Put this pill under your tongue.
It’s called Zofran, and it’ll help the nausea.” I gratefully accept the medicine from the kind, petite nurse and take a deep breath.
“Let’s get another set of vitals.” Mo smiles and takes my temperature, blood pressure and heart rate.
“Everything is normal. That’s a good sign. Dr. Anderson will be here in a few moments.”
“Thank you.” Jules pulls a chair up next to me and my phone starts to ring.
It’s Luke.
“Hello?”
“Hey, baby, I’m at the hotel.
Everything okay?”
“Yes, everything’s fine. I’m just hanging out with Jules.” Jules’ eyes go round and she mouths “What the fuck are you doing?” at me. I brush her off.
“Okay, good. I’m heading back out to my first meeting. I’ll text you when I can.”
“Alright, have a good meeting. I love you.”
“I love you too.” I hear the smile in his voice as he hangs up.
“Natalie…”
“Stop. He can’t do anything from L.A. There’s no need to worry him.
He’ll be home tomorrow anyway.”
“He should know that you’re in the emergency room.” God, she’s stubborn.
“That pill they gave me is helping with the puking. They’ll probably just send me home.”
“Knock, knock.” A small blonde woman pokes her head through the door.
“I’m Dr. Anderson. I hear you’re not feeling well, Natalie.”
“I’ve been throwing up for about the last hour and a half.”
“Has it been steady, or does it come and go?”
“Steady. Couldn’t breathe until the nurse gave me that anti-nausea pill.”
“Any other symptoms like diarrhea, fever, abdominal pain?” She is jotting down notes in my chart as we talk.
“No, just the vomiting. I was a little nauseous early this morning, but I thought it was just nerves. Then the vomiting started.”
“Okay, well, it sounds like we’ve got that stabilized.” She pushes on the skin on my hands and looks in my mouth and nose. “You’re pretty well dehydrated, so I want to start an I.V. and get some fluids going, we’ll take some blood and run your urine and see what we see, okay?” She smiles down at me kindly.
“Okay. Will I be able to go home today?”
“Most likely. Let’s get some test results and I’ll be back in a little while.”
“See?” I say to Jules after the doctor leaves. “I’ve probably just got the flu.”
Nurse Mo bustles back into the room and starts my I.V.
“Oh, no, I’m outta here!” Jules jumps up and runs out of the room. I smirk at Mo.
“She hates needles the way most of us hate spiders.”
Mo laughs, draws some blood and bustles back out again, leaving me with Jules.
“How are you feeling?” she asks.
“Better. Still a tiny bit queasy, but I don’t feel like I’m going to throw up anymore.”
“Good. You were starting to scare me.”
We sit in companionable silence for a while, both of us checking our phones and watching a bit of TV. We wait a really long time, about two hours, before we see the doctor again.
“I’m sorry for the wait. I had a few blood tests that I wanted to run and they can take a little time.” She pulls a chair up next to me and it looks like she’s settling in for a long chat.
Shit, what’s wrong with me?
“I have some good news, and some news that could go either way, depending on how you choose to look at it.”
“Okay. I’ll take the good news first, please.”
“You’re very healthy. All of your vitals are normal, and your labs all came back completely fine.”
“Good.”
“Except, and here’s the other news, you’re pregnant.”
I hear Jules gasp beside me, but I don’t understand.
“What did you say?”
“You’re pregnant.”
“No, that’s impossible.” I shake my head adamantly. There must be some mistake.
“Oh?” The doctor raises an eyebrow. “Why is that?”
“I’m on the pill to prevent pregnancy.
I never, ever miss a pill. Never. I’m The Pill Nazi.”
“The Pill can be very effective at preventing pregnancy, but just like all birth control, it can fail.”
“No, if I take it the right way, which I do, I won’t get pregnant.”
I see Jules pick up her phone and start tapping the screen voraciously while the doctor smiles patiently at me and pats my leg.
“Natalie, the pill is ninety-nine percent effective when taken correctly.
There is a one percent chance that it can fail, and it seems that you are that one percent.”
“What?!” The world starts to fall away from beneath me.
“She’s right, Nat.” Jules shoves her phone in my face. “Never mind that you have an educated M.D. right here telling you this, but WebMD concurs. Ninety-nine percent effective.”
“I take it this is bad news?” Dr.
Anderson asks.
I look at Jules and she looks as shocked as I feel. “I don’t know.”