“Oh God,” Ty groaned. The panic began to billow. He couldnt take enclosed spaces. He just couldnt do it. The air in their little pocket of space was growing warmer.
“Ty.” Zanes low voice was followed by the touch of his hand and a firm tug that shifted Ty closer to his partner, and after another tug, Zane pulled Ty practically onto his lap and against his chest, then wrapped his arms around him securely. “Ive got you, baby. Im here.”
Ty struggled against the cuddling. “Quit touching me, Zane,” he hissed stubbornly.
“Stop it,” Zane said firmly, though his arms loosened enough to led Ty slide down. “Stop it and close your eyes. Listen to my voice.” Ty put both hands over his face and rested his head in Zanes lap. His breaths were shallow and erratic against his hands. “I should have just let you get squished.”
“Youd never do that, baby, and we both know it.” Zanes hand settled on Tys head, stroking gently. “Who else would pun you to death?”
“At least Id finally be taller than you.”
“I thought you liked me being taller than you.”
Ty tried to answer, but the thought of being tall enough to brush his head on the ceiling while sitting made his stomach turn, and he managed only a ragged breath. The panic was sharp and overwhelming, filling his limbs with a tingling sensation as his gut churned.
“Ty.” Zanes voice sharpened. “Stay with me. Come on. Talk.” “Shut up. If I could go anywhere, Id leave you here in a heartbeat,” Ty managed to strangle out. He reached up, horrified when his fingertips brushed cold stone. Hed been trapped in small dark places before, which was why he had such a negative reaction to them now. But the very real knowledge that the walls were closing in, literally and not just in his mind, made him want to cry.
All the while, Zanes fingers carded gently through his hair. “I know what its like to be totally in the dark,” he said, his voice calm. “But I wouldnt go anywhere even if I could. Id rather be here with you than somewhere else alone.”
Ty reached up and gripped his hand, trying to grasp a thread to keep him from truly panicking. He would hurt them both if he lost control. Zanes fingers curled around his in a firm grip.
“Can I tell you a secret?” he asked Zane, voice low and threadbare.
“Yeah.” “You ever get gut feelings? Like you see something and you just know?” Ty asked, feeling stupid but not caring. He felt Zane squeeze his hand. “First time I saw you, after I got over hating you, I knew… I knew wed die together. I could just feel it deep down. Never felt that before.”
Zane exhaled heavily. “Not today. And not tomorrow. And not for a long time to come, Ty Grady. You hear me? A hell of a long time.”
Ty nodded jerkily. “Do me a favor?” He reached out and grabbed at Zanes other hand in the pitch black. He shoved it upward, trying to get Zane to raise his arm. “Hold up the ceiling, okay?”
Zane let Ty move his hand to touch the stone, which inexplicably made Ty feel a modicum better, but he kept his other linked with Tys. Several heartbeats of quiet passed before Zane spoke. “First time I saw you, after I got over hating you, I knew,” he said, echoing Tys words, “I knew Id fall in love with you.”
Ty shivered all over, torn between the comforting warmth of Zanes words and the cold terror of impending crush injuries. He couldnt get in any air to speak.
“I laughed at myself,” Zane continued, a hint of pleading in his voice, “and then I denied it, and then I did everything I could to prove myself wrong, but it didnt work.”
“I know, Zane,” Ty whispered, though he had to admit the words brought a certain level of relief he hadnt realized hed needed. “Ty.” Zanes even, soothing tones finally broke on the short gasp of his name. “I love you and Im scared Ill lose you. Please dont leave me alone in the dark.”
Ty closed his eyes, trying to push back the weight of the tons and tons of stone that sat precariously above them. He smiled weakly with Zanes words. “Now was that really so hard to say?” he tried to tease, but it came out sounding desperate.
“Yes?” Zane answered, forlorn. “Jesus, Ty, come here, please.” Just the thought of moving made Ty begin to tremble. He squeezed his eyes closed, gritted his teeth. He reached blindly for Zane, his hand glancing off Zanes shoulder, and Zane did the rest, moving close enough to embrace him in the tight space.
Zane lifted one hand to cup Tys face. “Do you have any idea how brave you are?” he asked, the sounds ragged and perhaps even a little choked.
“Tell me when Im not about to freak out, okay?” Ty requested hollowly. The trembles skittered through his body and into Zanes. “Tell me about the ribbons,” Zane requested abruptly, his voice again calm and soothing. Ty knew what he was doing, trying to take Tys mind off their impending doom any way he could. He shook his head. “The two on top are the Bronze Star and a Purple Heart,” he started breathlessly.
“Bronze Star?” Zane repeated, sounding surprised. “The countrys fourth highest medal,” Ty rattled off desperately, trying to find distraction from the realization that he couldnt breathe. He was about to have a full-fledged panic attack. “Awarded to any person who, while serving in any capacity with the Armed Forces of the United States, distinguishes him or herself by heroic or meritorious achievement or service while engaged in an action against an enemy of the United States, in military operations involving conflict with an opposing foreign force, or while serving with friendly foreign forces engaged in an armed conflict against an opposing armed force in which the United States is not a belligerent party.”
“Damn, Ty, are you reciting military guidelines?” Zane asked, sounding both impressed and horrified. “Yes, shut up. Its helping. Accomplishment or performance of duty above that normally expected, and sufficient to distinguish the individual among those performing comparable duties is required.”
Zane snorted softly. “Whatd you do to earn it?”
Ty breathed in deeply, the air shuddering out of him just as quickly. “I killed a whole lot of people.”
Zane was silent for a moment, then shifted against Ty to hold him more securely. “Tell me about the rest.” Ty shook his head and strained his eyes to find light. When he could make out nothing in the blackness, he reached up for the ceiling. If Zane wouldnt hold it up, maybe he could.
He touched the cold stone, and he felt Zane raise his arms to help. “Ill hold up my end, if youll hold up yours,” Zane said.