He was pretty sure he, Alston, and Perrimore had all been summoned to this meeting by mistake anyway. So far theyd been over the escalating violence in the city, in particular a nasty case of arson in which a second explosion had been rigged with the express purpose of injuring or killing firefighters. Everyone was up in arms about it, including Ty. There would be a memorial for the slain heroes next week.
But while escalating violence could possibly be in Tys job description, arson certainly wasnt. Next they hit on a bank robbery that had “professional job” written all over it. Theyd caught a break publicity-wise with that one, since it had happened on the same day as the arson tragedy and hadnt received much press yet. Whats-His-Name from Financial Crimes was told to look for similar robberies in neighboring states over the weekend. Something that organized had probably been run before somewhere and would surely be run again. Soon.
Weekend assignments. Awesome.
And bank robberies werent Tys job either. Then the agenda moved on to the negative image the FBI was being painted with of late and several avenues the PR people had come up with to nip it in the bud.
None of which had much of anything to do with Ty, so he still wasnt exactly sure why he was supposed to be here at all. “So,” Special Agent in Charge Dan McCoy was saying, “were going to give them what they want so theyll get off our backs for a while. And Grady, the next time you and your partner want to blow something up, at least pretend youre sorry afterward, got it?”
“Yes, sir,” Ty said as he opened his eyes and shifted to a slightly less outwardly miserable position. He wasnt sorry, though. That fax machine had deserved what it got. And Zane had laughed his ass off.
There were only thirty minutes left in the work day, and then he was free to go do cartwheels in the parking lot. He glanced at Alston, who was asking another question, and then Tys pants pocket vibrated. He actually jerked in his seat before he could stop himself, quickly leaning forward to place his elbows on the table and cover the reaction.
“Something to add?” McCoy asked.
“Nothing constructive,” Ty admitted with an innocent smile.
McCoy rolled his eyes and nodded. As he continued outlining the plan to make the Bureau more “fan-friendly,” Ty leaned back again and pulled his phone out of his pocket slowly. He kept it under the table as he slid it open and pressed the button that would open the text message hed received. Ty was almost surprised to see that it was from Zane and not one of the usual suspects.
Baby seal walks into a club.
He pressed his lips together tightly and looked up at McCoy as he tapped out his response to Zanes weak opening gambit.
You shouldnt club baby seals. Bastard. It wasnt a minute before the phone vibrated in his hand again. He quickly set it to silent so no one would hear the vibrations, and then he glanced down at it to read the new message.
Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
Tys lips twitched as he tapped out a quick response. Is he being held in a duracell?
He returned his attention to McCoy just in time. McCoy slid a file across the table toward him, and Ty opened it as he massaged his left temple.
It was a proposal that outlined a plan to pull as many government and municipal service organizations as possible into a softball league and then open up the games to the public. Ty huffed in amusement.
“Think you could get the ball rolling on that if its the plan we go with?” McCoy asked.
Ty nodded slowly and then looked up at McCoy. “I know a guy who knows a guy,” he drawled with an easy smile.
“I thought you might,” McCoy said, sounding pleased with himself. That was why Ty was here, then, because hed played on the Bureau team ever since hed been transferred to Baltimore and knew just about everyone. That had to be it, because everyone knew Ty didnt give a shit about public opinion and had nothing to do with bank robberies or fires.
McCoy moved on to the Financial Crimes dude who still didnt have a name but had a whole hell of a lot of opinions, and Ty surreptitiously checked the phone again. The message icon blinked at him, and he flipped the phone open to read it.
Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a salted. Ty stared at it for a moment before looking up and licking the corner of his mouth to keep from smiling. Why the hell couldnt Zane have done this when Ty was bored out of his mind and not sitting in a meeting? He was probably out there Googling jokes on his computer.
“Grady, what do you think?” McCoy asked. Ty looked at his superior for a split-second of indecision, knowing full well he had absolutely no idea what hed been asked. “I think its a shit idea,” he finally answered confidently.
“Care to expound on that?” McCoy asked him wryly. “Not really,” Ty answered, his voice not quite as steady.
“Okay, at least were all in agreement on that one,” McCoy replied as he took a piece of paper that probably outlined another PR proposal and tossed it over his shoulder.
Ty slowly let out the breath hed been holding and began tapping a response to Zane.
Fuck you zane. Fuck you. So much.
The answer came back quickly. Zane had to have been sitting there waiting.
I’ll get you a salami sandwich for dinner. With extra mayo. Ty looked up and around the table, trying desperately to concentrate on what they were saying as he jabbed at the keys of his phone to respond. Zanes attempts at seductive innuendo were funnier than his jokes.
All Ill get from you is fired.
If you go for an interview at a rubber stamp company, try to make a good impression. Ty fought not to roll his eyes as he looked up from the phone he was still trying to hide in his lap. He refused to let one of Zanes bad puns have the last word.
He had to sit for a moment, searching his store of bad jokes for an appropriate answer. He hated to sink to Zanes level, but you had to fight pun with pun….
He looked up and took the next five minutes to answer questions and try to at least appear involved in the meeting. The idea about the FBI softball team and setting up tournaments with other city and state agency teams that would be open to the public seemed to be taking root. And Ty had become the focus of the planning, so he had to pay attention.
Ty liked the plan, actually. He didnt know if it would work, but it was never a bad thing to put a human face on the big bad blue line every once in a while. A downside, as he pointed out, was that they might get backlash if too many people wondered why cops and ambulance drivers were playing softball while the city was being ransacked. But hell, they were already taking heat, so it couldnt hurt.
Ty jotted down a few notes, people hed need to contact within other agencies to see if they could set something up, city fields and scheduling and things that he really didnt have time to deal with but would anyway. Then the conversation moved on, and Ty leaned back in his chair.