“Catch up,” Earl instructed as he headed off into the woods with his flashlight and canteen.
Ty glanced up and sighed in exasperation. “Damn fool, can’t even wait for me to lighten my damn pack,” he muttered under his breath as he knelt and moved faster. “Familiar ground, my ass,” he grumbled.
Zane watched him, wondering about the relationship Earl Grady had with his sons. He seemed pretty good-natured and easygoing, and so did Deuce, for the most part. Although he wouldn’t describe Ty that way on the whole, they all seemed to get along just fine and have a great deal of respect for each other. But when Earl gave an order, both Ty and Deuce jumped to obey it as quickly as possible. Easygoing or not, somewhere along the way Earl Grady had taught his sons to do as they were told without questioning it. Zane wasn’t sure what he thought of that, and it was definitely odd to see Ty like this. Ty mumbled something to them Zane didn’t quite catch before heading off into the dark woods after his father.
Zane leaned back against a rock that lined the clearing where they’d made camp for the night and stretched out his legs with a wince. He was in really good physical shape—lots of hours in the gym to offset all the sitting at a desk—but the hard hiking wasn’t like running on a treadmill or lifting weights. He had kinks in his back from carrying the backpack that were bugging him.
The fire was putting out good heat now, so he pulled off his heavy jacket and set it to the side, not wanting to get overheated. Grumbling to himself a little, he twisted carefully from side to side to pop his back and then his neck.
He was tired. Bone tired, even. Maybe he’d be able to sleep more than a few hours tonight. He yawned, but movement to his side drew his attention. Zane flicked his eyes to his left to see Deuce rambling across the campsite. He was carrying an armload of small sticks and brush to fuel the fire, and he happily dumped them onto Ty’s bedroll as Zane watched him.
He straightened and turned to meet Zane’s eyes, and he cocked his head curiously when he saw him sitting there. He glanced off in the direction Ty and Earl had gone and began moving toward him. Deuce knelt beside Zane with a smile and then allowed himself to fall into a seated position in front of the fire.
“Tired, huh?” he asked knowingly.
Zane let himself smile a little as he slumped. “What gave me away?”
Deuce shrugged. “You have that ‘please carry me’ look to you.”
Zane snorted. “Seen that a lot?”
“I have a mirror,” Deuce answered with a laugh. He unscrewed the cap to his canteen and gave Zane a measuring look. “Why’d you come up here with Ty?” he asked.
Holding Deuce’s eyes, Zane silently acknowledged the talk that had been pending. “He asked me to.”
“I’m betting he asks you to do a lot of things,” Deuce wagered.
Zane shook his head briefly. “You’d lose.”
“Really?” Deuce responded in genuine surprise. “Interesting,” he murmured as he again looked out to where Ty and Earl had disappeared down the trail. After a moment, he shook his head and looked back at Zane. “You like your job?” he asked suddenly.
Zane was still amused by the now-trademarked “interesting.” “Sometimes. Not as much as I used to.”
“Pain can color a lot of things,” Deuce pointed out with a nod.
Zane nodded. “Yeah,” he agreed.
“If you hadn’t been hurt on the job, would you enjoy it more?” Deuce asked thoughtfully.
Zane considered whom he was talking to. This was Ty’s brother, after all, not just some random bureau psychiatrist. “No,” he admitted quietly.
Deuce pursed his lips and nodded. Then he leaned toward Zane slightly. “Is Ty a good partner?” he asked.
“You were there when I told your mom about Ty being a good partner.”
“That’s what you told my mom,” Deuce pointed out. “I’m asking for the real answer.”
Zane frowned slightly, not sure what Deuce wanted to hear. “Why would I lie about that?”
“So he’s a good partner,” Deuce concluded with a nod. He looked at Zane unflinchingly, studying him. “Are you?” he finally asked.
Zane was a little surprised by the question. “I hope so. “
“Of course,” Deuce agreed with a shrug of one shoulder and a smile. “But are you?”
“I don’t know,” Zane answered defensively.
“Sure you do. You know what it takes. Are you someone you’d be comfortable putting your back to in a fight?”
Zane caught himself pausing. He’d been wrestling with his fears a lot in the form of nightmares, especially the fear of losing someone close to him. In the past, it had been Becky. Right now, it meant Ty. “I don’t know.”
“So you’re not a good partner,” Deuce translated for himself. “Very interesting.”
Zane pressed his lips together, embarrassed and at a loss for words. “Has anyone ever threatened you over saying that word?”
“Not that I recall,” Deuce answered sincerely. He was still smiling at Zane thoughtfully. “As a shrink, we’re trained to listen and ask the relevant questions, not so much give advice,” he confided in Zane.
“I thought you didn’t like to be called a shrink,” Zane said with a weak smile.
“It comes and goes,” Deuce admitted carelessly. “And I’m going to offer advice to you now despite being a shrink, okay? It’s good to be honest with yourself. And harsh, to a point. After that point it gets unhealthy,” he said with a wince and a shrug. “But sometimes the cold hard truth is very effective in helping yourself. I tell Ty all the time, just admit that you’re an ass**le and make life easier.” He went on, seeming to enjoy the line of conversation and rambling happily.
Harsh truth. Zane figured the worst of his nightmares was that sometime, somewhere, he wouldn’t be able to protect the people he cared about—and that they’d be taken away from him as a result. As to how to fix it? God only knew, because Zane sure didn’t.
“Once you admit to yourself that you are or aren’t something, then you can begin searching for the reason why,” Deuce went on. “And once you’ve found that, you can begin to take steps toward making it better. So, tell yourself you’re an ass**le, stop being an ass**le, your problem’s solved,” Deuce said in a pleased voice. “He usually glazes over on me at that point,” he added with a frown. “Kinda like you are.”