‘I don’t know . . . ’ I hesitated, still not wanting to lead him on any more. It seemed wrong to keep agreeing to dates when Oliver’s name was the only one that whispered in my mind.
‘They’re going into the city, so it’ll just be the two of us,’ Ethan added, suggestive. ‘And Olly too, but he promises to stay out of the way.’
Oliver.
My stomach kicked with the thought of him. ‘Sure,’ I heard myself agreeing. ‘I guess I could come over.’
Ethan grinned. ‘Perfect. I’ll pick you up, it’ll be a break, I promise. You won’t have to lift a finger.’
‘Ethan . . . ’ I protested.
‘I mean it,’ he laughed. ‘I’ll feed you grapes and give you a foot rub. You deserve it. You really are the best, you know.’ He leaned in and dipped a kiss on my lips.
‘See you tonight.’
I spent the rest of the afternoon watching the clock, willing time to pass quicker so I could see Oliver again. All I needed was a sign from him and I would end it with Ethan for good. My guilt faded; betrayal was just a word, flimsy in comparison to the breathless memory of his lips and hands, and – worst of all – the race of power thundering in my bloodstream, my first kill lying beside us on the snow.
I was sick. It was wrong. But I couldn’t stop the memories, even if I tried. Something was awake in me now; Oliver had showed me a glimpse of what it felt like to be invincible, alive, and as much as it terrified me, I craved another taste. I knew that I should push it down and bite my tongue, fold myself neatly back into the box I’d been living in: good girlfriend, dutiful daughter, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to any more. Everything seemed duller now, faded and grimy against the vivid hues of the white snow and Oliver’s bright blue eyes, sharp and watching in the back of my mind.
I didn’t know what would happen next and, God, it thrilled me.
Finally, my shift was over. I set the voicemail on and grabbed the statements for Weber, heading across the floor to his office.
‘Hi.’ I tapped quickly and then pushed the door wider. Weber was on a call, but he gestured for me to wait.
‘No,’ he said, ‘no charges. As far as we’re concerned, the case is closed. Uh-huh . . . ’ He listened a moment longer, then finished up. ‘I know. Thanks, Bob, you say hi to Kathy.’
He hung up and gestured me in. ‘Thanks for doing this. I know it’s not exactly part of your job description.’
‘It’s fine.’ I shrugged. ‘I’m just heading out now.’
‘Have a good night.’
I paused in the doorway. I should be leaving, but I couldn’t ignore what I’d heard on the call. ‘Was that about Crystal?’ I asked.
Weber looked blank.
‘The crash,’ I explained.
‘Oh, yeah, it was. We’re wrapping it up,’ Weber said, checking through paperwork. ‘It’s not fair to keep dragging it out.’
Something hardened in my chest. ‘He just gets away with it?’ My voice rose; I stared at Weber in disbelief. ‘Blake was drunk-driving!’
Weber shook his head. ‘We don’t know that. The breathalizer’s inadmissible and Blake swears he didn’t touch a drop. He’s a good kid.’
I didn’t understand. ‘But didn’t he say so, in the interview?’ I asked. ‘I came in with the messages and I thought I heard him. He said he’d had a couple of beers.’
Weber shook his head. ‘I don’t remember that. We went over the tapes, there’s nothing there. I’m sorry,’ he added, giving me a quiet smile. ‘I know she was a friend of yours.’
‘Right,’ I nodded slowly. ‘Sorry to bother you.’
‘No bother at all,’ Weber reassured me. ‘This has been hard on everyone. Now it’s all over, people will be able to move on.’
‘Maybe.’
Weber smiled. ‘You have a good night now.’
I headed back to my desk to grab my coat and bag, confusion still lingering in my mind. I could have sworn I’d heard Blake talk about drinking, but that day was a jumble; the shock and grief had blurred it all together; the only moment in sharp relief was later, with Oliver. His kiss.
I felt a shiver of anticipation. Not long now.
‘Hey, Chloe, did you get those tickets I needed?’ Blake stopped me on my way out.
I stared at him, a chill settling over me. He was back from suspension, looking just the same as he always had. It had been barely a slap on the wrist, a couple of weeks’ lost wages.
Crystal had lost everything because of him.
‘I’m just on my way out.’ I replied, icy.
‘I know.’ He gave me a pleading look. ‘But I’m on speeding duty tonight, Weber wants me out by the highway.’
‘They’re in the lock-up, third shelf from the back,’ I told him, edging away.
‘Please?’ Blake sighed. ‘I can never find a thing in that place. You’re an angel,’ he wheedled, and I realized he wouldn’t stop until I did what he wanted.
‘Fine.’
I hurried around the corner to the evidence lock-up, pulling out my keys. But the door was unlocked, and when I swung it open, I found Weber pulling out a carton from the bottom shelf.
He startled, straightening up and banging his head against the shelves.
‘Sorry!’ I cried.
‘No, it’s fine, you just surprised me.’ Weber rubbed his head. I quickly found the ticket books and grabbed one for Blake, holding it up.
‘You need to run some kind of induction,’ I told him. ‘They come crying to me every time they need something.’
‘Right. Sure.’ Weber coughed, looking uncomfortable.
‘Anyway, good night. Again.’ I headed back out, tossing the ticket book to Blake as I passed.
‘Wait, I still need—’
‘Too late!’ I called back. I wasn’t going to spend another moment in the station, not with Oliver waiting for me.
Oliver and Ethan.
I arrived at the Reznick house early, there was no reason to linger at my own. Mom was still knitting by the spool, wool trailing across her makeshift craft room as the needles clicked faster, her attention focused on the TV. I fixed her dinner and then drove over, checking my reflection in the rear-view mirror before eagerly hurrying up the front path.
‘You look nice.’ Ethan greeted me with a long kiss. I’d spent a little longer at my dresser picking out an outfit and doing my hair – but it was all for Oliver, not him.