He gives a dry laugh. “I guess there’s no avoiding it. Avoiding anything.”
We watch the water awhile, fingers laced together on the dew-damp ground. Then voices sound, back near the trees. We turn.
“Thank God!” Fiona hurtles toward us, lit up by the thin beam of a pocket flashlight. She’s pulled on a light jacket, her hair falling out of its thin ponytail. “We’ve been looking for you forever!”
We?
Reeve emerges out of the shadows behind her. With Grady. He’s looking down, scuffing his sneakers on the ground, but he’s here.
I rise to my feet, anxious.
“It’s OK.” Fiona shoots a look back at Grady. “He’s calmed down. There won’t be any . . . any scenes. Right?” She thwacks his stomach. He nods reluctantly.
“Should we . . . ?” I look back at Ethan. He hasn’t moved from his spot, but his face is even.
“Let’s get back,” Fiona decides, shivering. “We can cover for a few people, but they’ll notice all of us missing soon.”
I nod. This must mean Grady didn’t tell. And if he hasn’t told . . .
“You’ll be OK?” I ask Ethan quietly, bending down.
He gives me a smile. “I’ll live.”
“No more late-night swims, you hear me?” I try to joke, but my fear must show, because suddenly, he reaches up and hugs me. I grip him tightly, but a second later, he pulls back.
“I’m good.” He nods, trying to sound brusque. “You’d better go. Don’t want them sending out a search party.”
I edge away, leaving him curled up there on the shore, Grady lingering a few awkward paces behind him.
“Grady’s really calmed down?” I ask Fiona, glancing back.
“I beat some sense into him. It was just shock, I think. I mean, they’re brothers. He didn’t even know . . .” She trails off. “But he’s good now. He’ll make it right.”
I exhale, a weight lifting from me.
“You OK?” Reeve falls into step beside me as we make our way back into the forest. I blink. I must have registered his presence before, but this is the first time I notice him, looking at me with clear concern.
I nod. “You need to watch out for him,” I tell Reeve. “All of you. He’s going to need you guys.” Again, I feel a pang that I won’t be around. IM and cell phones only count for so much.
“It’s cool.” Reeve manages a smile, but I can barely make it out in the dark. “We’ve got this.”
The tension in my chest eases a little more.
“But what about you?” Reeve presses. “I heard it got pretty ugly with Olivia.”
I shrug, resigned. “I think . . . I think we’re done. I mean, I can’t ever forgive her, not for this.”
“I’m sorry.” His voice is low, sincere. A moment later, I feel his hand reach for mine. I pull back, but he takes it, firmly.
I look at Fiona, just a bobbing flash of light ahead of us. “I said I didn’t want to sneak around anymore,” I whisper. It all seems trivial after the dramas of the night, but I want to stand my ground.
“Does it look like I’m sneaking?” Reeve answers me in a normal voice. “Hey, Fiona,” he adds, calling ahead. “Just so you know, I’m holding Jenna’s hand back here!”
My mouth drops open.
“Whatever!” she calls back, bored.
“See?” He smiles at me again.
“What changed your mind?” I ask, trying to stay cool. But the feel of his body next to mine is warm and comforting, and after all this tension, it’s a relief to relax against him.
“I was worried about you,” he says, self-conscious. “When they said you took off into the forest. I was dumb, before.” A pause. “I didn’t want it to get messed up, like it did with Kate, so maybe . . . maybe I went too far, with the secret thing. I really thought you were OK with it. I’m sorry.”
I meet his eyes, black in the shadows, and manage a smile. It doesn’t mean much in the big picture, I know — just a few more days of kisses — but in another way, it’s everything. I matter enough to him.
“OK,” I say softly.
When we reach the road again, the B and B is lit up, full of warm light. Noise and music drift over to us, and through the windows, I can see people laughing. After the dark chill of the forest, it looks like a haven. A home.
Fiona waits for us to catch up. “So what’s our story?”
Reeve looks around. “I figure we can just say we went out for an adventure. You know, a moonlit hike for Jenna, or something.”
“And Ethan and Grady stayed behind,” I agree, “to . . . I don’t know, clean up.”
Fiona shakes her head. “You guys are terrible liars.”
“And that’s a bad thing?” I protest. She smiles.
“Lucky you’ve got me around.”
“Truly blessed.” I link my arm through hers.
“So, official version,” she begins, as we cross the dirt road. “We’re having a sleepover at the Johnsons’ tonight, to get out of Susie’s hair. Ethan and Grady are back there, setting up, and we’re just going to pick up our night things.”
“That is a good story,” Reeve agrees, on my other side. He’s still holding my hand, even as we climb the porch steps and open the door to the packed, raucous party. “We should do it for real. Their parents will probably hang out here for ages. And we should be around, you know, for Ethan.”
“What about Olivia?” I venture. “I can’t just leave her with Adam and Susie — they don’t deserve that.”
“It’s fine,” Fiona says, shooting me a sympathetic look. “She was locked in the bedroom, the last I saw, ranting on the phone to some guy about how destructive and thoughtless we all are. She’s good until morning. My plan is still perfect.”
“OK, OK!” I agree, smiling for what seems like the first time all night. All around us, people are full of celebration, and even though the past few hours have been tragic, stressful, and scary, it feels as though all of that is finally behind us. “You are the undisputed queen of deception. We bow at your lying, sneaky feet.”
“Better believe it.” Fiona grins, smug. “Now, where is that ice cream . . . ?”
36
We sleep on the floor in the Johnsons’ basement, overlapping like puppies in a tangle of blankets and sleeping bags. But as soon as I open my eyes, woken by Fiona’s sleeping mumbles, I know what I need to do.