I gather my courage, grip the handlebars, and push off, walking with my tiptoes for as long as possible before finally wobbling along. “Have fun!” he yells after me as — clutching the brakes for dear life — I slowly roll down the first hill.
OK, I tell myself: you can do this.
The ground is muddy, sending splashes of dirt onto my bare legs as I wheel through puddles, but it seems that as long as I keep the brakes on, my speed stays below heart-attack level. Swallowing back my fear, I keep my eyes peeled for obstacles and animals, swerving around the twisting trail like it’s a minefield assault course. And to me, it is.
Again, I have to wonder about the Stillwater definition of fun.
“You going to let it go anytime soon?” Reeve swoops up the hill toward me, pedaling fast. He circles around, drawing level, and rolls along beside me. I don’t answer, slowly clutching and releasing the brakes in a jerky motion to keep control. “The whole point is the speed!”
“I’d rather stay alive,” I answer, carefully steering around a small hill just as he bounds right over it.
“I thought you were the fast one,” he says cryptically, before skidding past me and around another bend.
I push on, my hands beginning to cramp with all this braking. Clutch, release; clutch, release. Then the ground begins to level out and I realize the major flaw in my “slow but steady” plan: heading down the hill at a snail’s pace may have avoided mortal injury, but now I’m facing my first incline, and I don’t have any kind of momentum to get me over it. I start to pedal, pushing myself up the slope with sheer thigh-work.
“I know,” I tell my legs as they begin to ache in protest. “This isn’t fair. I haven’t prepared you for this. But I can’t quit now — they’ll never respect me if I don’t finish the trail.” And with Reeve and Grady’s opinion of me hovering somewhere around zero, the only way to go — literally — is up.
“Oh, Lord, thank you.” I reach the top of the hill with relief. The rest of the course stretches out in front of me, nothing but more steep slopes, hills, and bends winding their way across the woodland. If I keep going at this rate, I’ll never finish. Or maybe . . .
What the hell.
I say a silent prayer and let go of the brakes, flying down the slope at twice my previous speed. Bouncing over twigs and rocks, I cling for dear life, but it works. The momentum carries me up the next hill and down again, even faster this time.
“Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” I can’t help but cry out as I hurtle along. It’s like being on a roller coaster — only without the safety of a solid carriage and track. I brush past branches, ducking and swerving away from oncoming trees, and all the while, my heart is racing faster than these wheels.
So this is what they do it for — the rush, the adrenaline that’s sparking in my veins.
I gasp for breath, flying along another stretch of trail until at last my bike begins to slow. Pulling to a halt on the top of a steep slope, I lift off my helmet and shake out my hair, glad of the cool air on my sweaty neck. An incredible glow is spreading all the way through me. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way: so brave, and exhilarated, and scared half to death all at the same time.
“Hey,” Grady pulls up next to me, sweat marks showing through his red T-shirt and mud streaked across his face. “Can you tell my brother not to hog the camera? I want Reeve to get shots of me doing some jumps, OK?”
“Tell him yourself.” I grin, stretching my arms. “You’ll probably get back to him sooner.”
“Yeah, but he’s pissed at me for splashing mud near the precious equipment. And anyway, he’ll listen to you.”
“He will?” I repeat dubiously. “Why’s that?”
Grady gives me a knowing look. “Because you’re the one hooking up with him.”
With that, he takes off down the hill.
Only a fool goes charging into a pack and expects anything more than a headache and an empty belly. Focus on lone animals instead, and pick them off when they stray from the herd.
—“Hunting Tactics,”
The Modern Mountain Man’s Survival Guide
15
I want to kill Ethan. But I don’t. Despite all my hurt and confusion, it’s clear that blowing up at him would be my final strike. I don’t want to wreck the friendly vibe I’ve finally got going with the guys, so I bite my lip and keep a lid on my anger for the rest of the day. I finish my ride, sit quietly, and even manage to smile at the right moments while he jokes around with Grady and Reeve, acting as if nothing’s wrong.
But I still can’t believe what he’s done.
Even Olivia is no consolation. “Do you even know it’s him talking?” she asks immediately. As soon as I get back to the house, I hit my speed dial. “It could just be the other guys jumping to conclusions, teasing him or whatever.”
“Nope, it’s him.” I find an empty, half-finished bedroom upstairs and collapse. I have mud splattered all over my legs and an unfamiliar ache in my arms, but worse still is how hurt I feel. After our trip to the city, I thought we were friends. “They were making comments all day, kind of teasing him about it. I didn’t realize at first, but now it makes complete sense. And he was going along with it!”
“Is it really so bad? I mean, maybe he’s just got a crush on you. You did say he was cute,” Livvy points out. I hear something in her voice.
“You OK?”
“What? Oh, yeah, I’m just kind of tired. We started a total sugar fast yesterday. Cash says it’s really good for your system, but I’m crashing hard.”
“Is that what you’re supposed to do — cut it out entirely?” I frown. Olivia is like the candy queen. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her without some chocolate or a sugary snack in her bag.
“I’ll be fine,” she promises. “It just shows how addicted I am! Alan — he’s one of the group leaders here — he says that we need to pay as much attention to like, our own health, as we do the planet’s.”
“Umm, cool. And no, this isn’t just a playground thing,” I add. “I mean, the way Grady said ‘hooking up,’ he meant hooking up, and you don’t go around trashing a girl’s reputation if you like her. At least not if you ever want her to speak to you again.” I remember how cool Ethan has been, the fun we had hanging out yesterday. “It doesn’t make sense!”