“No, it was stupid. All of it.” He laughed, closing his eyes. “And I knew it from the start. What did I say to you that day, Ara—what did I say the day I left you in the hospital?”
“All dreams eventually die,” I muttered, seeing his face—the way he loved me back then—so different to how he looked at me now. Because, now, he really believed those words.
“I should have listened to my own wisdom then. I should never have given everything up for you. I left my Set, I—”
“You didn’t give up the Set for me. You gave it up because justice failed you, and—”
“Is that what you think?” he asked, incredulous. “Is that what you honestly think?”
I nodded.
“Then you’re even stupider than I thought, Ara.”
“Or maybe there’s just always been this miscommunication between us.” I reached for him.
“Don’t touch me.” He jerked away. “Do you think I want you to touch me?”
“I’m sorry. Just. . .”
“Just what? What should I do, Ara? You tell me, because I—” His eyes drifted off to one side, coated thickly with tears. “I just don’t know anymore. I . . . for the first time in my life, I just . . . I got no answers.”
“You just need to think, to—”
“Think about what?” He offered both palms. “You won. What d’you want from me?”
“I want you to stay. I want you to think about things before you leave.”
“Why?” His shoulders lifted once—his heart completely breaking under the stern gaze he tried to hold. “It’s all gone. I was wrong. I . . . I had this idea in my head. God!” He tapped his temple a few times, folding over. “Why didn’t I just listen? I should have known love like that was too good to be true. And I believed it, Ara. I did. I believed it to my core—to the point where I was blinded enough to actually think the feelings you had for my brother were plutonic—that it was just confusion or maybe that he felt more for you than you did for him. I never—” He paused and looked out the window, sniffing once. “I never, for one second, believed you actually loved him, that you could actually. . .” His voice broke and his hand came up to cover his mouth.
“You couldn’t have known, David. And you shouldn’t have even had to imagine it was possible.”
“But I should’ve seen it.”
“Don’t blame yourself. It—”
“I don’t. I blame you. And I blame him. And you are goddamn well lucky you told me, Ara, because I’d found out for myself, I’d have beaten you to death with my own hands.”
My heart skipped a beat, restarting again a little faster. “You’re hurt, David. I get that. But I don’t believe you’re capable of murder.”
Very slowly, and with what looked like hesitation wrought with an awful lot of anger, he moved his gaze onto me, rolling his shoulders back so he stood as tall and strong as a king—his uniform broadening his shoulders, the sword in his belt glistening in the afternoon sun, as if whispering its evil will. “I’m the king,” he said, seeming to find the meaning in those words only as he spoke them. “You are guilty of treason, and I have a duty to uphold.”
“David, please. It—”
“Don’t! Say. A word, Ara.” He turned to the window, his lips fighting their own battle with his thoughts. “I’m not going to charge you with this crime because, right now, the monarchy is unstable, and your people need an honest, strong queen.”
My throat opened with the sudden breath of shock. I covered my mouth.
“Even if it is a lie,” he said, his lip turned in disgust. He held my gaze for a second, then made a very stiff, very slow about-face and walked away, closing the door gently behind him.
Chapter Eleven
I opened my door and Falcon stepped into sight, his head hung low.
“Go away, Falcon.” I pushed past him. “I have nothing to say to you.”
“It wasn’t what you think, Ara.”
I stopped dead and spun around to face him, my words coming out through my teeth. “Do not address me in such an informal manner. You are a soldier in the Queen’s Guard, and—”
“And I acted as such.”
“No. You sided with the king. You did his bidding. You—”
“I did what I had to to protect you, Ara,” he yelled, then stood taller, sobering himself. “Under the laws of the Lilithian Monarchy, you and all your guard are bound by the sacred right of matrimony. We cannot go against your betrothed. How he sees fit to punish you is out of our control. He could place you over his knee and spank you right in front of us, and we can’t do a goddamn thing.”
“What? But. . .” My eyes flicked over every inch of Falcon’s face. “That’s ridiculous.”
“Which is exactly why Blade and I have spent the better part of this morning amending those laws. There was never need for a bylaw that gives a guard the power to protect his queen from her own husband. It just hasn’t been done in this monarchy before, and we never imagined it would. I’m sorry. I know we let you down, but even if that hadn’t been the case, I still would’ve arrested Jason.”
“Why?”
“Because he’d have gotten you both killed. If he’d stepped in and tried to defend you, the king absolutely would have lost his temper. Why do you think Blade was so quick to knock Jason out, Ara?”
“I don’t know.”
He touched my shoulder. “The best thing for you, for all of us, was to get Jason out of sight.”
“But you left me alone with him—not knowing what he’d do to me.”
“No. I never—” He slashed his pointed finger through the air, “—not for one instant, left you alone with him. As soon as Blade had everything under control, I was outside, on your balcony, making sure he did nothing to hurt you.”
I softened, dropping back on my heels. “Really?”
His lips pursed to hold his jaw tight, and I saw the faintest shimmer in his eyes. “What kind of man do you think I am?”
I folded my arms. “I guess I just don’t really know who I can trust anymore.”
“You can trust me.” He stepped closer. “If the king had so much as even thought about raising a hand to you, I’d have smashed that glass door and been under his fist before it struck your face, Ara, even though, to do so, would mean I faced the death sentence.”