David looked into me with nothing but hatred in his eyes—not one shred of compassion shining through.
“Why would Arthur make you stay then?” I asked. “If you hate us so much.”
“Because my uncle is hoping that by forcing me to wait for the dagger, I may find it in my heart to forgive you,” he said stiffly, looking down his nose at this sobbing mess. “But he’s a fool.”
I nodded. “I’m sorry, David.”
“For what?” he spat.
“I’m sorry he forced those terms on you. That’s. . .” I shuddered. “That’s really cruel.”
He cleared his throat.
“Thank you, anyway—for stopping by,” I said, going blank-faced after. I wasn’t really sure why I said that. “You can see yourself out, I’m sure?”
He bowed his head once and walked away.
“Oh, and . . . David?”
“What?”
“Please tell Arthur and Jason I’m sleeping now.” I folded over a little, standing tall again quickly. “I’m tired.”
His answering response was a door closed and a wordless, sad nothingness left in his wake. I looked out at the field in the distance, seeing the tip of the lighthouse, thinking back to the first time I saw this place. Nothing about the landscape had changed, yet everything within it was upside-down and no longer fit the way it should. His anger at me went beyond hatred and worse, because of my crimes, he would not only hate me for the rest of forever, but he’d hate our little girl too.
“I’m so sorry, little baby.” I touched my belly, sending my words and all the love I had in my heart through to her. “I’m so sorry.”
The day went so slowly, with me stuck on bed rest, that I read every book in my room before lunch, and found myself trolling the library shelves for more I could read up on about my people and the laws of our society. But a pair of arms suddenly wrapped my neck, stopping me dead in my tracks, Emily’s shrill voice echoing my name in my own ears.
“Congratulations,” she trilled.
“Thank you.” I stepped back, rearranging the pile of books in my arms.
“Are you excited?” she asked, patting my belly. “You must be so excited. What did David say? Oh, my God, was he totally excited, too?”
“He, uh—” I started, but what was I supposed to tell her? To tell everyone? That he disowned both our child and me? “He just said that nothing had changed between he and I.”
“Well, I hadn’t expected that much.” An eager smile replaced that frown. “But I bet he’s thrilled to finally have his own little baby.”
I moved my mouth into an awkward attempt at a neutral smile.
“Well, at least you got the baby before all the. . .” She patted my arm. “You know?”
I looked down at her hand. Why had everyone suddenly started doing that to me? Every second person I passed that knew the truth about David and I patted my arm. It was the worst form of pity one could offer.
“I have to go,” I said coldly and walked past her, hugging my new study materials.
“Well, enjoy your books,” she called casually. “And don’t forget they’re announcing the ball today.”
I stopped again. “Ball?”
“Yeah. Didn’t David tell you?”
“No.”
“The House are holding a ball in honour of our new princess.” She presented my midsection. “They’re making the formal announcement at Court today.”
“Great.” I rubbed my temple. “What did David say?”
“I wasn’t there when they discussed it.”
“And why wasn’t I?”
“Duh,” she said, shaking her head. “You were unconscious.”
“So, Arthur told everyone else I was pregnant before he told me?”
“No. He told David first, and David told the House. I didn’t even find out until after Nate did. He told me.”
I settled back on my heels, noticing I was leaning toward Emily a bit much, as if I were about to attack her. “They’ll expect us to dance.”
“Who?”
“David and I. Our people will expect us to dance at the ball.”
“So?”
“So . . . he’ll probably ‘accidentally’ squeeze me too tight and pop my lung.”
“And he’ll get one to match,” Blade said, forgetting for a second that guards are supposed to guard, not join the conversation.
I narrowed my eyes at him, then turned back to Em.
“You could always ask Jason to be your date,” she suggested.
“And how will I explain that to my people?”
“Tell them you’re courting—that there may be an intent to marry. It doesn’t have to be true,” she added, as I was about to freak. “But at least you could dance the night with someone you trust, and no one would turn their head.”
“No.” I spun on my heel and started walking again. “The less I see of Jason, the better.”
“I thought you—” Em started, but Blade shushed her sweetly with a finger to his lip as he passed, following me up the stairs.
My door swung open, no one having knocked first, and a group of people entered without invitation. I lowered my book into my lap and watched three giant, gold-rimmed mirrors wander over to my sitting room, followed by a flow of portly women with folds of fabric over their arms, lead by an older woman, whose slim glasses and tape-measure-scarf gave her away as the seamstress who fitted my coronation dress.
“Mrs Hemsley,” I said, standing up to be polite. “Nice to see you again.”
“The pleasure is all mine, dear.” She pushed her glasses up her nose, appraising me. “The announcement for the ball has just been sent to the Lilithian Times for tomorrow’s print run, and I thought I’d get a head-start on your fitting. Falcon let me in.” She turned and motioned to my guard standing guiltily in the doorway.
He showed both palms and backed away. Something told me he wasn’t given much choice but to let the old woman in. I laughed. “Well, you’re welcome any time, Mrs Hemsley.”
“Magda, please,” she reminded me.
“Of course. Magda.” I nodded.
“Now, if you’ll just set your pretty little self over there on those boxes, we’ll get these measurements done and then we can talk fabrics.” She cupped both hands together, turning to the mirrored pedestal area they’d set up just by the windows, and stood waiting.