“It doesn’t matter.” I frowned. “That’s all separate from me. I’ll find a way to bring the Three Worlds together—we can live in peace. I know we can, and I know I can do it without causing any suffering.”
“Except to kill those who oppose you.”
“Well, no.”
“Then what are you going to do? Imprison them? Set them free to start wars—cause more damage, more deaths?”
“Arthur…this is too much for me. I’m not ready to deal with this yet.”
“But you must, Princess. You are in a position of power and that brings with it the obligation of decision. You are in no way separate from this,” his voice softened. “In the coming weeks, you will be queen, and then, every action you take, every decision you tactlessly regard, will single-handedly affect the lives of many.”
“See? This is why I didn’t want to be the queen. I’ve got you telling me I need to make decisions, Mike telling me not to because I have no idea what I’m doing, and, inside, what I feel is right doesn’t match what everyone says is right. I’m just not ready for this.”
“But you have no choice.” Arthur spoke louder. “You will be queen, you will have to decide what is right or wrong, and sometimes, it will be between the lesser of two evils. Sometimes, there is no circumventing the unpleasant.”
“Why are you doing this, Arthur?” I swallowed the shaky lump of anguish his ruthlessness created. “What do you hope to achieve by making me feel even smaller, even more stupid than I already do.”
“I just want you to wake up, my lady, and ask yourself what you plan to do, and why.”
“I already know why—I just don’t know what.”
“No. You know what you hope to achieve—peace among all. But you do not ask yourself why that matters, or why you choose to care.”
“Why do I need to ask that?”
“Because the answer to the what should always come after the why.”
His words filtered through me, passing every channel of self-doubt, meeting with the stark blankness of confusion.
“You must have a motive behind everything you do, Amara. Freeing the prisoners, disbanding the Sets, negotiating with Drake—if you can’t find a good reason why you feel this necessary, then perhaps it is the wrong course of action.”
“So, you think I should kill Drake?”
“I think you should be sure about what you want to do, before you do it.”
“You didn’t answer my question, Arthur.”
“It is not my job to give opinion, my lady, only to help you find your own.”
I sighed. He is so exhausting. “How will I know when I’ve found it?”
“When you ask yourself why, and know the answer.”
“Then I’ll never know which path to take. Because I don’t think I’ll ever approve of killing someone just because they oppose us.”
“Then ask yourself why.”
“Why what?”
“Why do you oppose death?”
“Because it’s wrong.”
He rubbed his brow. “I have seen many rise to power in my time—all of them with the best of intentions, and it is those philanthropic aspirations that ruin them. You can’t save everyone, Amara.”
“I—” I stopped and thought about what I wanted to say. Shut up and leave me alone seemed to be all that came to mind.
Arthur breathed out and tore his blue eyes away from my face as he brushed his hand through his windswept, carelessly messed hair. “You’re just a young girl,” he said softly, “And I do not mean to be harsh on you, but I do care; I care for you as a person and as ruler of a nation. I have lived many years, seen many political changes in the world. I know, from experience, that winning hearts can sustain dominance for only short periods. You will need cruel methods, possibly even death, to prevent opposition. And they will rise against you. I do not see vampires following wilfully, even when you capture Drake and imprison him.”
“Disbanding the Sets,” I said.
“What about it?”
“That should win hearts for a while.”
“It would.” He half laughed. “But it will see more problems than it will fix.”
I shrugged. “Probably, but, really, I don’t want to argue this topic, right now. I’m tired, and I didn’t come out here—” I motioned to the garden, “—for a political debate.”
“I’m so sorry, my dear. That was not my intention, either. But the things you say—your views and opinions—they give me great cause for concern.” He clasped his hands together, resting his elbows on his knees. “There will come a time where you must choose a side and defend it. There will be no negotiating some things, and I just don’t want to see you heartbroken when you’re forced to make a decision that will cost lives. And one day, Princess, you will have to.”
“Look—” I rolled my eyes behind his back. “I appreciate your concern, but I feel strongly about this. I won’t see the demise of vampires for Lilithians to live, and I won’t see the same in reverse. We live in united peace, and that’s all there is to it.”
“No, there is much, much more to it. When two sides oppose, they fight until one yields, and—”
“It doesn’t have to lead to war. No one has to die.”
“For one, war does not always involve death, my dear, but without death, very rarely sees one side surrender. You do not wish to kill or be harsh to enforce your reign, but you want to be respected enough to be followed. You can't buy peace with daisy chains, Amara.”
“Well, if we have to go to war to achieve peace, then I guess we’ll go to war.”
“So, now you approve killing to fight for your cause?”
“No. I don't know. Maybe—if I have to.”
He pressed his lips into a thin smile and looked to one side. “I’ve never known a girl who holds such strong values to be so easily led.”
My mouth dropped. “What do you mean by that?”
“I mean…” He sighed heavily. “You disapprove of killing and violence, yet, if I were to forcefully disagree, convince you it was necessary, you would acquiesce—despite what you felt was the right course of action.”
I looked down at my hands. “I'm just trying to get this right.”
“Then follow your heart, Amara. Do not allow yourself to be controlled by others’ opinions. I can see you clearly have a great amount of respect for me, and while this is not only sweet but very flattering, it’s also dangerous. Your council has warned you that I may be a traitor, yet you take my word as vow.”