“She’s blonde. And cute,” I offered, my voice rising in question. “She’s the one I’m having over next weekend for a sleepover. I’m gonna show her some pictures of you.”
“Well—” his voice dragged, “—I do like blondes, but not dumb ones.”
“Oh, no, don’t worry, she’s definitely not stupid. But don’t get ahead of yourself, Romeo. She might not even like you. You’re not that good looking.”
“Are you kidding? I’m a hunk.” He laughed.
I smiled. “Yeah, I’d pay that. But it takes more than just good looks to get the girl.”
“Well, how ‘bout my charming personality and witty sense of humour?”
“Might work.”
“Worked on you.”
“Not funny, Mike.”
“Sorry. I take it back. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Whatever. Anyway. You don’t need to worry about me now, okay. I’m doing well. I’m still not fine. But I’m okay. Today.”
“I’m glad, kid. You could use a bit of okay. But—” a long, stretching groan sounded down the phone line; I pictured him rolling his spine, straightening his arms behind his head, “—I’ll be there soon, and then you’ll be all better.”
“Don’t flatter yourself.”
He laughed for a second, then became all stern; “But, seriously, Ara? Please don’t set me up with this friend of yours. I’m in a difficult place right now with matters of the heart. I’d rather not drag anyone else into that. Okay?”
“Sure thing.” But I knew he’d change his mind when he saw her.
The fresh scent of Mr Warner’s cut grass next door mixed with the lemony fragrance of Vicki’s bathroom cleaner, and the sound of the vacuum cleaner down the hall sent a warm pang of calm through me. I smoothed my hands over the unruffled bedcovers on top of me, remembering my irrational but normal dreams. I wondered how today could seem so perfectly sunny and bright when yesterday, despite the weather being the same, my whole life had felt grey and stormy.
With a hint of a skip in my step, I leaped out of bed and stood right in front of my open window, drawing a breath of the fresh, cool morning air. It wasn’t even nine o’clock yet, but I wanted nothing more than to be up and a part of the day.
When my crappy old phone bleeped, I dove onto my bed and opened my messages; Can I come see you today? It’s David, by the way.
An invisible paintbrush swerved across my lips, bringing them up on both corners. I texted back: Are you kidding? Of course you can.
Didn’t want to seem overeager.
Be there in five, he texted back.
My eyes went wider, taking in my ultra messy room. I scooped my clothes off my floor in one big pile and threw them in the laundry basket, then shook my quilt over my bed and sprayed deodorant all around my room, waving a hand through the scented cloud to rid the stench of depression from within the walls.
“Vicki?” I called, grabbing my doorframe to lean out into the hall.
“Yes, dear?”
“I’ve got a friend coming over, okay?”
“Okay.” I heard the vacuum cleaner start up again, relieved she didn’t ask if it was a boy friend or a girl friend. I wasn’t ready to tell her I had a boyfriend yet.
I shut my bedroom door to get changed, but as I lifted my shirt, heard a high-pitched yowling echo in the street below. Hanging from the old oak tree in the backyard, a fat grey body swung from side to side, flailing around in an attempt to free its paw from a branch.
“Stupid cat.” I laughed, pulling my top back on as I burst through my door.
“Hey, princess.” Dad passed me on the stairs. “Where’re you running off to in such a hurry?”
“Vicki’s dumb cat’s got itself stuck in the tree.”
“Ara to the rescue, huh?”
“Again.” I passed through the forbidden formal room, pushed the back door open and leaped off the porch, landing on the dewy grass. But instead of climbing up a tree, stopped dead at the sight of every sunrise that ever brought day, standing in my backyard, holding a very sorry-looking grey fluffball.
“David?”
“He’s fine,” he said, tucking Skittles’ lashing tail into the hold as we met under the tree.
“Oh, my knight in shining armour. You saved my baby.” I took the cat from him, then squeezed the tip of its paw to inspect the claws.
“He’s just a little embarrassed, I think.”
“He should be.” I cradled the cat close to my face; he was still growling in the back of his throat, not at all amused to be held like a baby. “Silly kitty.”
David smiled fondly at me.
When I released my hold on the cat, he bolted over the hedge fence—into the front yard.
“How did you sleep last night?” David asked, running a finger down my arm.
“Laying down,” I said, and David laughed. “No, in all seriousness, I actually did sleep. No joke. And I had normal dreams.”
“Then my work here is done.” He took a step away, then turned back, wedging his hands in his pockets. “Kidding.”
“Not funny.” I slapped his chest, noting that small indent between his pecs. I just wanted to keep my hand there, against his plain white T-shirt.
He grabbed it as I pulled away, and brushed his lips across my knuckles. “You don’t have to be afraid to touch me, Ara.”
Oh, my heart. Will it ever beat again? I smiled and slowly reached up to his face; it felt silky, warm under my fingertips, with just a tiny hint of regrowth breaking the skin around his chin and upper lip. “It looks good.”
“What does?”
“You. Clean-shaven. I like it.”
He gave a short, breathy laugh, and placed his hands on my hipbones. “So, how are you feeling today? After everything we talked about yesterday.”
“I’m really good. I mean, I still hurt inside, all the time, and I never stop thinking about them, but—” I shrugged.
“It will get easier.” David ducked his head a little so our eyes met in perfect alignment. “You will always think about them, but I can promise you that missing them will get easier.”
“How do you know so much about this stuff?”
“I’ve suffered a lot of loss in my life.” He nodded smoothly and looked away. “But, I find more people to love and make my life about them.”
As our eyes met again, his warmed with a soft, simple smile.