“He’s not what you think he is, Mike.” I cleared my throat, sorting out a response in my head. “You might think you’ve pieced it all together, but you're wrong.”
His eyes narrowed. “I know you’re upset that he left you, but I don't think I'm wrong about him; I really do think he loves you and he's just trying to do the right thing by you.”
Cold shock washed through me. “That’s what you think?”
He frowned. “What did you think I thought?”
That he was a vampire. “Oh, um—I thought you might’ve thought he was a jerk, you know, for leaving again.”
Mike shook his head. “No, baby. Not at all. I mean, I…in the hospital, I saw the way he loved you. It was…undeniable. And I don't know what happened between you two, maybe you’ll never tell me, but you need to know that, although that part of your life is over now, I’m still here. And you still have a chance to be happy.”
“I’m not sure I’m capable of that anymore, Mike.”
He nodded. “What if I could promise you you are? What if I could guarantee that you will one day find a reason to smile? Would you believe me—at least start wanting to be happy again?”
“I—” I frowned to myself. “I do want to be happy.”
He went to shake his head, but stopped and exhaled. “Only you know the truth of that, Ar.”
He was right. I didn't want to be happy, because being happy meant moving on from David, and moving on meant that I didn't love him.
“But I’m not giving up on you,” Mike said. “Not ever. I don’t care what you say to me or do to make me mad or hurt, I love you, and I’m not giving up on you.”
My eyes watered. “What if I asked you to go?”
He didn’t even answer. We both already knew the answer. But I wondered if he’d stay if he knew the real reason I was attacked—that I had let a vampire into my life, then followed one to my own detriment. And I wondered how he would feel to know that the core of my sadness was not because I was attacked, but because of David, because he was gone and because time, death, and tears hadn’t changed what I meant to him and wouldn’t, couldn’t make him stay.
But Mike had stayed, even though everything he worked for back in Australia had fallen apart, and he would always stay, no matter what; if I was human, if I was weak and frail, even if I asked him to go. And that was more than I could say for David.
“You’re a good man, Mike.” My head rocked from side to side. “I’m glad I’m marrying you.”
His frown softened and a broad smile spread across his face, like the light touching the earth at sunrise. “Then...you still wanna get married?”
“Of course I do, dummy.” I slapped his arm. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“I just thought, with the whole near-death experience and all, you know, people change from those things, Ara. I didn’t know if you’d want the same things anymore.”
“And you stayed? Even though you weren’t sure?” Admiration crinkled across my nose.
His eyes narrowed. “Ara. I’m in this for life. Whether you marry me or not, I will always be here to love you, protect you, and be your friend. That will never change. Never.”
And it really only sunk in right then, that I had missed this; all along, I’d been looking across the road to the boy I thought I loved, when I should’ve been looking right beside me. This was my saviour—this was my knight in shining armour. He always had and always would come to my rescue. “Good,” I said. “Because I don’t want you to go anywhere.”
He leaned down and his warm, velvet smile melted onto my lips as his breath brushed hot against my skin. It was the first kiss. My first kiss in my new life. I’d been given the chance to start over—cleansed of all the mistakes of the past.
The hourglass had rocked and the balance tipped in reverse, but everything was back in place and, today, I began a new journey with the man I was supposed to be with. True love would be ours now and happiness would be in every breath I took beside this man. We would go on—live, as living was intended, and I would love him for forever—for our forever—because they’d always been the same.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
True love, by definition, means “someone that is truly loved.”
But true love must be reciprocated, or it is only excruciatingly unbearable and devastating—a never-ending lonely night in an empty room.
By the dictionary of Ara, true love means you could not live without that person. That the love you feel for them is as honest and deep as the love they feel for you—a soul mate—a perfect match. David was my soul mate, but Mike was my perfect match, and in only a few hours, we’d be sharing this truth with the rest of the world.
The presence of my hand over my belly was supposed to settle the feeling of nerves, like black bats had assembled in my gut and bludgeoned the ogre to death, but it didn’t. And it didn’t hide the fact that, in truth, I wasn’t ready for this. But Dad wouldn’t let me go back to Perth with Mike unless we were married first. So, I stood in front of the full-length, oval mirror, with golden light spreading its warm beams of morning over my bedroom floor, and let time pass around me—unable to control it or make good use of it; just existing as a part of its greater plan.
I reached across and tilted the mirror’s frame, changing the image to the plain white of the roof. I couldn’t look at the reflection staring back at me today; she was error, beautified by justification, painted in the form of a bright-eyed young girl. A young girl who was doing what was expected of her, not what her heart wanted.
I loved Mike, I really did, but the quiet prelude to the tempest had me wondering if I was doing the right thing; if marrying one man, when I was still in love with another, would perhaps destroy not just my life, but Mike’s as well.
The passed winter was long and the blue memory of Christmas Day settled over my thoughts, blotting out the yellow of spring in my room. Mike’s parents had demanded he return home for Christmas, and I spent the whole day on the armchair downstairs, talking to him on the phone. The bill was huge, but Mike just laughed and said it was small change—a minor drawback in the greater scheme of things—and covered the costs himself. When he finally came back, I had never been so glad to see him in all my life. I’d had so many nightmares while he was gone—one’s that ended in him calling to say he’d changed his mind about me, or some where his plane crashed while I waited for him at the airport, and some where I slipped into the darkness again, and he wasn’t there to save me. I needed him, almost as much as he needed me. So, maybe I wasn't really ready for this, but I couldn’t live without him, either.