“Scar,” John said, his voice warning me.
“Don’t,” I repeated. “Rob’s in Nottingham, and they’ve been torturing him all night.” My back caved over and I felt sick, saying it loud like that. “I’m not sure he’s alive,” I said soft.
John sat down, and Much sat back on his heels. “Christ,” Much whispered.
“You got in? Through that tunnel?”
I nodded. “To right beneath the prison, but the grate is welded into bedrock. It won’t move none.”
“And you saw Rob?”
“I talked to him. I didn’t see him.”
I remembered the clinking chains and silence, and I shuddered. “Just patch me up, Much. We have to get back there.”
“You aren’t going back there, Scar,” John said.
I looked sharp to him, then rolled onto my back. “Just bandage it, Much, please.”
“You’re turning loose,” John said. “You just ran off last night, cut up and half dead, and we didn’t know what was going on.”
“Rob were in there, John,” I said, wincing as Much bandaged my shoulder. “I weren’t turning loose. We’re a band and Rob would have never left none of us in there. He saved my life, and I’m not leaving him. And we’re going to go back and break him out.”
“Except Rob kicked you out of the band,” John said, crossing his big arms over.
I looked to him. “What?”
“Might as well have. You told him you were leaving, and he took that as word. Robin doesn’t want you coming after him, Scar. He wants you gone.”
Stupid tears pushed up at my eyes. “What?” I said again.
“It isn’t like that,” Much said, quiet.
“You think I’m wrong?” John said.
I looked to Much, and he shook his head. “No, you’re not wrong. But you’re making it sound bad.”
“It doesn’t matter how it sounds, Much.”
“Yes, but you’re acting like the reason he wants her gone is because he doesn’t want her around, and that’s not it.”
“Much,” John snapped.
Much looked at me. “He loves you, Scar. He always has. And he wouldn’t want you to get hurt. He risked his life to get you out. So don’t make his sacrifice for nothing.”
I bent my head and tears slid down my nose. I thought of Rob, standing in the inn and calling me a whore, walking in the forest and saying he wished he never saw me. Worst, I saw him fighting back Gisbourne and sending me on, and the tears squeezed faster, fair leaping out of me in jumps and starts. “He doesn’t love me, Much.” Pain shuddered through me and I curled over myself. My whole chest hurt.
Christ Almighty, were this what a broken heart felt like? I hiccuped, and John put his hand on my neck, rubbing a little.
I pulled away, jumping up and stumbling away from them. They looked at me with their mournful eyes and I slumped on a tree. This were why I never wanted none of them. Not their looks or their stupid pity for the scarred girl who hung her heart on a hero.
Humiliation broke over me like a wave, and my eyes screwed shut. I wiped the tears, still shaking a little. “I owe him my life. I’ll make this right, Much. I’ll make sure he won’t sacrifice a thing.”
“We won’t let you go back there.”
I shivered. “I don’t need you two to do this. But it might be easier to get Rob out if you’re there. You’d be going for him, not me. And then you won’t never have to see me again. Promise.”
“We don’t want you to leave, Scar,” Much told me. “We never did.”
I shrugged. “You’re right, though. Rob wants me out of the band. So I’m out, and I’ll get him back to you so we’re square.”
“What’s your plan, then?” John asked. “Turn yourself in? Gisbourne will kill you.”
“No. This all started because I forgot who I were. It’s not like a noblewoman can live like this, and I were stupid to think otherwise. I wanted to forget.” I shook my head. “Gisbourne will trade anything for me. For me to go to him willingly, yes. He’d trade anything. Even Rob.”
They looked at me, and I glared back.
“Do you want Robin back, or don’t you?”
“Of course we want Robin back, but neither of us are willing to trade your life to Gisbourne to get him out. Robin will never forgive us,” Much said.
A tremor rumbled down my back. “If he’s even alive,” I reminded.
“It’s a stupid plan, Scar! Aside from you being little better than an idiot, the sheriff will just come after us twice as hard. They’ll follow Rob right out and let us all swing,” John said.
“We had a plan for Ravenna’s wedding gift all along, remember?” I asked. “Much, have you searched the other caves?”
He shook his head. “Haven’t had the chance.”
“Then we’ll search tonight. We’ll find enough, and we’ll tumble the castle. Or part of it, at least.” I nodded. “That’s what we’ll do. Between the wedding and offering to trade me for Robin, the guards will be distracted enough. You’ll be able to tumble the castle, we’ll get Rob out, and the people of Nottinghamshire will have a bit of time while the sheriff rebuilds.”
“I don’t like this plan, Scar,” John said. “We look out for each other, and this is the pure other end of that. Gisbourne could kill you in a heartbeat.”
I gave him a little smile. “I’m sure he will. But if I’m out of the band, what does it matter?” They lurched forward, and I stepped back. “I’ll do this with or without you, lads. Let’s at least take Robin and the castle wall for me.”
There were a long quiet where they just stared at me, and I looked back, trying not to think of how much I loved them. Losing the band, I were losing brothers—like I had already lost a sister. Meeting my fate with Gisbourne would be almost a relief.
“I think it’s brave as hell, Scar,” Much told me. “I think Rob was right. You’re the bravest woman I’ve ever known.”
I looked down. “This were the eventual end anyway, lads. I just managed to put it off a bit. Now at least some good can come out of it. Just get Robin out of there as soon as you can.”
A few moments passed and I didn’t look at neither; we just stayed there, quiet.
“I’ll need some help finding more of the powder, then,” Much said.