He made quick work of putting it on and then he was between my legs. I was panting with need. Things weren’t moving quite fast enough for me. I wanted him now! Before I lost my mind!
Cole rolled us so that I was straddling him. I looked down at him and my heart wanted to burst from my chest.
He reached up and ran his hand through my hair, pulling me down. He kissed me hard.
“Fuck me, Viv. Ride my c**k and make me forget there was ever anyone but you,” he snarled against my mouth.
And that’s exactly what I did.
21
I was experiencing a major case of déjà vu. I hadn’t even opened my eyes yet and already I was rock hard. And it had everything to do with the warm, female body sprawled out across me.
I knew I wasn’t dreaming this time. I peeked under my lashes and couldn’t help but smile. Vivian’s cheek was pressed against my chest, her mouth gaping open as she snored her cute little heart out.
Was that drool?
I sincerely hoped not.
I ran my hand down her back, running my fingers along smooth skin. I had to take a piss but I wasn’t in a rush to move.
I was perfectly happy just where I was.
Huh. Well lookie there.
I was happy.
Really, really f**king happy.
I hadn’t been expecting this when I had made the decision to come to Vivian’s place last night.
I had been in a really shitty place for the last couple of days. After talking to Garrett, I had holed up in my apartment, hiding out from the world. I had continued to avoid Jose’s phone calls, though I knew he needed an answer from me. He wanted to know what I was going to do.
The problem was I was no closer to figuring that out then I was on Sunday when I came back to Bakersville. And Garrett’s pep talked hadn’t helped. Instead he had messed with my head even more.
But as I sat in my crappy apartment, staring at the wall because I still hadn’t bothered to get the cable turned back on, I knew that I needed to fix stuff. I needed to take my life by the reins and stop waiting for everything to sort itself out.
Hiding in my apartment while the world passed me by wasn’t going to solve shit. I had to stop being such a pu**y.
And I needed to start making amends for all the dumb crap I’ve done. I had to stop being the guy who treated everyone around him like they didn’t matter. I needed to take stock of where I was.
And that was alone. Miserably and completely alone.
I hated it.
But I had done this to myself.
It was time to figure out the best way to make it up to the people I had hurt.
Call it Cole Brandt’s twelve-steps for recovering ass**les.
And I had to start with the woman I hadn’t realized was so important to me until she wasn’t there anymore.
During all the crazy chaos, the only person I wanted to talk to was Vivian. She got me on some sick twisted level and you didn’t turn your back on someone who understood you like that.
So I had gone to the store, an idea taking root in my head. I needed to fix my band and my relationship with my friends.
But first I needed to fix things with Vivian.
I didn’t expect her to forgive me. Hell, I had a strong inkling she’d slam the door in my face. And it was no less than I deserved. But I wouldn’t go away. I planned to stand outside her door all night long if I had to. Just to show her that I meant business and that no matter what, I was going to make it up to her. And I’d do it in the only way I knew how.
By being an obnoxious, unrelenting jerk.
But she hadn’t slammed the door in my face. She had actually let me inside.
And now here I was, in her bed, and I felt like the luckiest man on the damn earth.
Even if her hair was tickling my nose and kept getting stuck in my mouth.
I continued to rub my hand slowly up and down her back. I loved her skin. I loved her tits. I loved her fabulous f**king ass. Shit, I loved her knees. And her toes. And the soft spot just below her ears.
My heart thudded in my chest and my hand stilled in its slow progress along her spine.
I had known this woman for two years. And for two years she had put up with my crap and given it right back to me. She never backed down but she never walked away from me either.
She never, ever left.
Until I forced her to. Until I made it impossible for her to stay.
And, whether I had recognized it at the time or not, the act of her leaving had cut me to the quick.
Because I hadn’t wanted her to go.
I needed her.
I had to know that at the end of all this crazy insanity with the band, with Jose and the label, that she’d be there, waiting for me. Ready to drive me nuts and blow my mind.
I wanted to be able to pick up the phone from wherever I was and call her. Just the sound of her voice making it all better.
Goddamn it, I knew exactly what this shit was.
I loved Vivian.
I was poke my eyes out with a fork, walk over hot coals, swim in a tank full of sharks in love with her.
I didn’t want her for one night. I didn’t want her just for a weekend.
I wanted her for as long as she’d have me.
And if I had anything to say about it, that would be one long-ass time.
I leaned down and kissed the top of her head, closing my eyes as I wrapped my arms around the woman I loved with every damn thing inside of me.
I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I wanted to tattoo it on my butt cheek. I wanted to shake her awake and scream it at the top of my lungs so she could hear me. And then I wanted to make love to her.
I didn’t want to f**k her. I didn’t want to screw her. I wanted to make sweet, sweet, Marvin Gaye style love to her.
But given the way Vivian was snoring, I didn’t see her waking up anytime soon. To be fair, we had had a pretty intense night.
But I was antsy and restless. I wanted to share with her my amazing realization. Okay, okay, I also wanted to put my dick inside her. I was only human.
I was an impatient man and I didn’t do waiting.
I rolled Vivian on her back and latched my mouth onto her breast.
“Ahh,” she moaned, instantly awake.
“Good morning,” I mumbled around a mouthful of nipple.
“What the hell?” Vivian groaned as I dipped my hand between her legs. She was ready. Shit, she was always ready.
God, I loved her.
She threaded her fingers through my hair, pulling gently. Her body moved languidly, still half asleep.
I grabbed a condom from the pile Vivian had to snag from Gracie’s room last night and quickly put it on.
Vivian’s eyes were heavy lidded, her lips parted as she breathed erratically. Her hair was all over the place.