Because I had officially ended things with Cole. Our hormone driven, lust-fueled, so-much-angst-it-might-kill-me relationship was finished once and for all.
And I was relieved.
Wasn’t I?
I mean, I didn’t feel good per se, but I felt okay about it.
Okay was fine, right?
Of course it was fine! It was great! I was Vivian Baily, woman able to resist the sexual allure of Cole Brandt! That deserved its own brand of commendation.
Yep, I felt okay.
So maybe I had slept like crap in Gracie’s bed. I had tossed and turned and thought about going back to Cole’s room with my tail tucked between my legs. That look on his face when I told him it was over had been stuck on replay in my head. It was on an endless loop.
What did that look even mean?
Because he didn’t look happy. He didn’t look angry either.
He looked…devastated?
Well that certainly couldn’t be right. I didn’t matter enough to be a blip on his radar, let alone devastate him. Psh.
But that didn’t stop me from wanting to run back to him. The familiar chaos was even more tempting now that I had made the decision to let it go. Then I chastised myself for being such a loser.
My internal battle had left me exhausted and irritable. I wanted to talk to Gracie. I wanted my friend’s affirmation that I hadn’t overreacted. That the honey fiasco had just been the tipping point in our dysfunctional coupling.
But she didn’t show up until the next morning. I had bitten my nails to the quick and gone through the entire contents of her mini-bar. I was hung-over and pissed off. Though I hadn’t been sure if I was pissed at Cole for being an ass**le or pissed at myself for wanting the ass**le so damn much.
I was so caught up in my boy troubles I never thought to wonder about where my wayward friend had been for the entire night. It wasn’t unlike her to shack up with someone, though it was unusual for her not to talk about it afterwards. Gracie believed whole-heartedly in kissing and telling.
She had been entirely too discreet. But she was in luck, because I wasn’t in the mind frame to care much where she had parked her v-jay for the night.
After Gracie had returned to the room, we packed up our stuff and checked out of the hotel like we were on the run. I sent a quick text to Maysie, making a lame excuse about our neighbor needing us to watch her cat and then we hightailed it back to Virginia.
Gracie listened to me bitch and moan the entire way. She offered little in the way of advice, because honestly I wouldn’t have wanted to hear it anyway. But she agreed I had made the right choice.
So I was feeling better by the time we pulled up out front of our apartment. I was feeling down right euphoric about my supreme act of girl power. Cole would not bring me down. He could keep his hunky rock god body far away from me.
And then my phone chirped in my purse. I made the mistake of looking at it.
You forgot to say goodbye. ☹ I thought we had some making up to do.
And my heart had fallen straight into my adorable kitten heels.
Had Cole really just used a frowny emoticon? And why was he texting me from Maysie’s phone? Did she know he had hijacked it?
My finger hovered over the screen as I thought of some snarky response. Before this weekend I would have called him a wank nugget. He would have retaliated with some sort of sexual-laced innuendo. Then the door would have opened to phone sex and plans to screw at a later date.
Not this time. I was a new woman full of awesome!
So I erased his text rather than give into the urge to write him back. And I thought that would have been the end of it. I had little doubt that Cole would move on to the next warm body with a pulse in no time.
I hated the twinge of disappointment when I was proven right.
I hadn’t heard from him since.
I arrived at work on Monday morning in a not so cheerful mood. It was virtually impossible for me to pretend I was hunky-dory when I wasn’t. I wore my emotions all over me like baby vomit.
When I arrived at The Claremont Center to find Theo waiting for me with coffee in hand, I wanted to turn back to my car and leave. Not that I didn’t want to see him, I just wasn’t sure I could affect a professional demeanor in the state I was in.
Not with my humiliation and minor heartache fresh and raw.
“White with sugar. I figured you had a sweet tooth,” Theo said, handing me the Styrofoam cup. I took a sip and couldn’t help but be pleased that he had read my coffee choice so perfectly.
I had been ready to swear off men. But when they come baring coffee and smiles that pretty, a girl could be tempted to re-think her stance on the subject.
“Thanks, Theo. Please don’t tell me I forgot another meeting,” I said, walking through the glass doors and heading to my office.
“No, nothing like that. I just, well, I felt like I should come by and apologize in person for how inappropriate I was the last time we spoke.”
My mind jogged backwards in time, trying to identify exactly what he was talking about. My head was still a soggy mess from my weekend spectacle. There wasn’t room in my grey matter for much else.
I must have looked perplexed because Theo’s lips quirked into a shy smile.
“When I asked you out.”
Oh that.
I set my free coffee (the absolute best kind of coffee) on my desk and held up my hand. “You really don’t need to. It’s fine,” I assured him. I wasn’t entirely sure whether I wanted him to repeat the offer, though I wasn’t repulsed by the idea.
It was nice to know that walking away from Cole hadn’t turned me into a nun.
One thing I was sure of, however. Scoring dates on the clock had to be frowned upon.
Theo looked relieved and I stood there appreciating how adorable he was. He was the complete opposite of Cole in every possible way.
He was fair and buff. I could make out the defined lines of his muscles under the expensive cut of his suit.
He young enough that his obvious success and responsibility were impressive. He seemed to want to spend time with me. And not in the naked and sweaty kind of way. And he brought me coffee.
The only thing Cole ever bought me was a box of condoms and a hard time.
It would be so easy to fall into something with Theo. I liked being with someone. I know that wasn’t very feminist friendly. Riley would have smacked me across the face right before she took my girl card away and shredded it.
But it was the truth. I couldn’t remember a time in my life when I hadn’t been involved in some way with a guy. Sure, my relationship with Cole was questionable at best, but he was still someone I had devoted spending time with. He provided regular sex and even conversation when it suited him.