There was something in the way he moved that had me frowning. Why did he seem so familiar?
“Welcome! Come have a seat. We were just getting ready to start,” Kristie called out to the newcomer, breaking my internal processing. Mr. Hot and Hazardous slowly moved to the last remaining chair, which just so happened to be across from me.
He sank into the cold, hard metal and stretched his legs out in front of him as though he were lounging on a couch and not at a support group meeting. He flashed a brilliant smile in the direction of the girls who sat beside him. They seemed a bit thunderstruck. Not that I blamed them.
His entire demeanor seemed more than a little off. He was a bit too perky for an addiction support group. I continued to frown in his direction, trying to get a read on him. There was something undeniably mesmerizing about him, but there was also something else there that I couldn’t quite put my finger on, and it was driving me nuts.
He turned his head and looked at me, and he blinked as though in surprise. His brows furrowed as he studied me as intently as I studied him.
“Okay, then. Everyone, I’m Kristie Hinkle, director of support services at the Community Services Board. And this is Aubrey Duncan. She’s a student here at Longwood and will be my co-facilitator for the next twelve weeks.” I lifted my hand in an awkward wave.
I was met by twelve pairs of eyes whose owners seemed to take me in and judge me in the span of thirty seconds. Crap, this wasn’t going to be easy. Blue Eyes across from me still hadn’t looked away from my face, and I was feeling more than a little uncomfortable.
Kristie smiled and gave me a slight nod, letting me know it was my turn to talk. I took a deep breath and looked around the group. “Hi. I’m really excited to be a part of this group. I’m working on my degree in counseling, and I hope my experience can . . . I don’t know . . . help you in some way,” I said. I wanted to cringe at how pretentious I sounded. They were going to hate me. I just knew it.
Several of the girls rolled their eyes, and their body language immediately told me that I was right; they totally hated me. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this after all.
Kristie recognized my floundering and jumped in. “Some of your faces I know; the rest of you are new. I’d like to take a moment to go around the circle and have you introduce yourselves. Say something about yourself. Why you’re here. What you hope to get out of the next twelve weeks. The important thing to remember is that this is a safe place to talk. Anything you say in this room stays in this room. We are all bound by that confidentiality. It is important that you trust each and every person here; otherwise this can’t work.”
Kristie nodded her head toward a girl I recognized from the front desk of the university’s library. The girl looked down at her name tag and pointed at it with a shy smile. “I’m Marissa. I’m a sophomore, and I’ve struggled with an addiction to Ritalin for almost two years,” she said quickly, as though she couldn’t get the words out of her mouth fast enough.
Kristie smiled. “We’re glad you’re here, Marissa,” she said sincerely. It continued like that around the circle. There was Kyle, the frat guy. I was surprised to hear that he had been busted for cocaine possession twice and was worried about losing his football scholarship. Looking at him, you’d see an athletic jock who lived for a good time. I would never have suspected he struggled with something like that.
Then there were Lisa and Twyla, the sorority girls, who were best friends but also found themselves addicted to methamphetamines to stay awake so they could get their homework done. There was Josh, who smoked pot so often he was failing most of his classes. Gigi, who liked to dabble in ecstasy on the weekends. Grant and Vince, who liked painkillers. And Lynette, who found herself addicted to Percocet after her knee surgery last year.
Then Kristie turned to the hostile couple, who had become more and more agitated as everyone introduced themselves.
“What about you two? What do the two of you hope to get out of the group?” Kristie asked kindly. The girl looked at her hand, which was still smothered by her boyfriend’s larger grasp. She didn’t look up, her bright pink hair covering her eyes.
The guy’s lips thinned, and he was silent for so long I was pretty sure he wasn’t going to say anything. Then finally he gritted his teeth and said in a barely audible voice, “I’m Evan, and this is April. We just want to put the hours in and get this shit over with.”
I looked over at Kristie. Her eyes narrowed imperceptibly, but I noticed it all the same. These two were going to be hard to deal with. Kristie looked at April, who seemed to shrink in on herself. The dynamic between the pair was downright disturbing.
“Do you agree, April? Are you only here to put in the required hours? Or is there something more you’re hoping to learn?” The pink-haired girl shook her head. After a few moments, Kristie realized she wasn’t going to get anything out of an obviously mute April.
Which left the blond and blue-eyed boy whose name tag on the front of his shirt read “Maxx.” Kristie seemed relieved to turn her focus to him. He had sat quietly during the introductions, playing the role of the model group member. He made sure to act interested while the others talked, but I couldn’t shake the sense that he really didn’t give a shit, that for him this was all a game and he knew what part he had to play.
“Finally, the last member of the group. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about why you’re here,” Kristie said. His grin was deceptively benign, but his eyes revealed a different story altogether. I just wished I knew what that story was.
The other girls in the group were completely transfixed by him. I had read a book once about cult leaders who were able to control a room with a smile or a gesture. They had a charisma about them that made people lay down their lives for them. I had always thought that was ridiculous; no one could be so magnetic that people would happily follow them off the edge of the world if they were asked to.
Looking at Maxx and the way the entire room gravitated toward him, I finally understood it. And the scary thing was that it was obvious he knew the power he had. And he enjoyed it.
Despite my less-than-friendly feelings toward the mysterious boy, I couldn’t help my more primal reaction to him. It was easy to fantasize about how his body would feel against mine. He seemed like the type who craved control, and it made me shiver to imagine relinquishing control of my body to him.
My contradictory feelings were also unethical and completely unprofessional. I was here as a facilitator. I was in a position of authority, however tentative, and I shouldn’t be lusting after a guy who was here for treatment.