I look over at his dental tools spread across my mother’s oak dining room table. I don’t know what he’s talking about, yet I understand what he’s saying.
The dining room is really quiet. The only sound, besides us breathing, is the soft hum of the refrigerator in the next room.
Into the silence, I say, “Your last girlfriend didn’t like sex.”
He lets out a small laugh that sounds like relief, bordering on crazy. Living on my own in this big house all these months, I know that laugh well. It’s the laugh of realization, of absurdity, of truth revealed.
His palms are still hot on my thighs. My body shakes involuntarily as I get one final, delayed tremor from my orgasm.
He looks up into my eyes, smiling now. “Thank you, Meenie. I think I’m going to be okay.”
I hold my hands out, palms up. I put a big smile on my face. “You’re cured. See? The self-help group really works.”
He keeps gazing into my eyes, a goofy look on his face.
I should probably offer him a handjob or something, but I hear myself saying the words in my head, and it seems like the wrong thing to say. Normally, that doesn’t stop me, but tonight it does.
Now what?
“Thanks for fixing my tooth,” I say sweetly. “Let’s not tell Feather about those two times you kissed me.”
“You want me to leave?” His tone is neutral, and his face doesn’t give anything away.
“It’s Saturday night. I’m sure you have plans.” I turn and look at the clock on the dining room wall. “Look at the time! I hate to dry hump and run, but… I really need to dry hump and run.”
“Again?”
I hold up my hand. “Thanks, but I’m good. That one should do me for a while.”
He turns and starts packing his things back into the leather doctor bag. “I guess I’ll see you Tuesday?”
“You will if you have the balls to show up to group again.” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I regret them.
His face is in profile to me now, and his expression stays neutral. He finishes packing the tools into the bag.
“What do I owe you?” I ask brightly.
His voice flat, he says, “The glue and the house call are on me.” He mutters, “As for the dry hump, I’ll send you a bill.”
The joke falls so flat, I can’t even muster a pity chuckle. I just say, “Sounds good.”
He finishes packing his bag and heads back through the house, to the front door. I trail after him, keeping at least five feet between us at all times.
“See you Tuesday,” I mumble when we reach the door.
He mumbles something about looking forward to it, then he leaves.
I lock the door behind him and slide down to sit on the floor.
Muffin suddenly appears at my side, thrusting his head at my hand.
“Sure, now you show up,” I say to the ginger cat. “Why are you so shy around new people? I could have used you as comic relief just now, dude.”
Muffin arches his back and creepily stares at a spot on the wall for no reason at all.
“Why can’t I be a normal girl?”
He keeps staring at the mysterious spot, his tail twitching. Cats can see things on the UV spectrum, so there’s probably a shadow or reflection there that he can see and I can’t.
There are plenty of things I can’t see.
I hear my thoughts in my head, as clearly as a person speaking. I keep looking without seeing.
My eyes are hot, and my jaw hurts. Tears threaten to spill down my cheeks. Drew would still be here right now, if I hadn’t driven him away. Why do I do that? What the hell is wrong with me?
(Don’t answer that.)
Chapter 16
On Sunday, Rory comes over to do laundry. I’m feeling a little less devastated about last night’s dental encounter with Drew, but I’m on edge.
Rory and my sister usually do laundry together and hang out in the TV room watching movies on Sundays. I join them about half the time, once I’m done my Sunday baking. It’s the one day of the week that the flower shop is closed, so we try to get housekeeping stuff done, even though Mom’s not around to kick our butts.
Rory looks a little lost. Maybe I’m projecting my emotional state on her, but she seems, for lack of a better word, wobbly.
She stands in the kitchen, her cotton laundry bag of clothes strung over her shoulder. She’s wobbling, swaying like a wildflower in a windstorm. It’s just the two of us today, so that could be what’s throwing her off. Rory looks scared that I’m going to scream PANTIES or start talking about double penetration.
I put the cookie tray in the oven as I explain to her, “Teenie had to drive Luca around for some garage business. She’ll stop in later, but she said you should try to have fun with me.” I set the timer on the oven. “I promise to behave.”
She looks like she’s struggling with the decision to stay, which makes me feel like crap. I’m already beating myself up over driving Drew away last night, and now this rejection by her feels like the lard icing on the crap cake.
“I don’t want to impose,” she says.
“This is practically your house as much as mine, Rory. You’re like our third sister. Don’t be silly. Let’s get the laundry going.”
I dash around the house, grabbing my clothes, and join her for sorting.
When it comes to laundry with Rory, you need to know the rules, and not freak out. The first load is her underwear, which she has to throw into the machine directly from an opaque bag, with nobody looking. She tops up the load with other clothes, and sets it washing.
Rory doesn’t mind me or Tina seeing the panties after they’ve been washed, but the initial step is too intimate. She’s also unable to purchase underwear, so Tina and I have to buy everything for her. She wears the same size bra as I do, so I’m her fit model. When we go to the mall together, she goes to get frozen yogurt while we purchase her undergarments.
I dump out the hamper, and the pliers fall to the floor with a clunk. I let out a guilty laugh.
She looks at the pliers, then at me. “Meenie, now what have you done?”
“Nothing odd, I swear. I had a loose filling that was bothering me.”
She’s not buying my story. Her amber eyes are burning into my soul. She’s known me too long to buy my bullshit.
“I did a stupid thing,” I admit begrudgingly. “I pulled my dental cap off and called that guy Drew, the one you met at the pub. He came and glued it on, then we kissed for a bit, then I drove him away because it got weird.”