His big, warm hands move up and down my back, like he’s worried I might disappear if he stops touching me.
After a satisfying second half of goodnight kissing, I pull away and give him a shy smile.
“Thanks for taking me to see a movie.”
“Are you free this Wednesday night?”
I pretend to think about it for a minute before saying yes.
Chapter 10
On Wednesday, Luca Lowell takes me out for dinner at a restaurant that’s just opened up. I feel like the prettiest girl in the world when I’m on his arm.
This is our third date, and he keeps dropping that fact into conversation.
“This is really the third one?” I ask, feigning forgetfulness.
“And the best one yet.” He yawns and rubs his eyes. “Sorry about that. This restaurant is too dark.”
“I’ll take it as a compliment that you feel relaxed around me.”
He smiles, his face looking weary. “I barely slept last night. Maybe two hours. Anyone who says renovations are easy is a liar. They’re also not fun, or cheap, or fast.”
“You were at the garage late?”
He rubs his eyes again, hiding another yawn behind his hand. “Lying awake in bed. One of my contractors has an alcohol abuse problem. By which I mean he drinks on the job and abuses my brand-new walls. I had to let him go.”
“Yikes. Is there anything I can help you with?”
“You’re sweet. I bet you don’t even know what side of a hammer is for hitting the nail.”
I bat my eyelashes. “What’s a hammer?”
The waiter comes by to clear our dinner plates.
“May I interest you in dessert?” the waiter asks.
“Let’s start with a triple espresso,” Luca says.
I wave at the waiter. “No, no, no. Cancel that. No triple espresso.” I give Luca a serious look. “You’ll never sleep tonight if you have that now.”
The waiter looks at me, then Luca, and says to him, “Your wife is right. No caffeine after noon.”
Luca frowns at both of us. “Wife? I thought the customer was always right,” he says.
I slump down in my chair, dying of embarrassment.
The waiter nods at me. “Wife trumps customer.”
After the waiter leaves, I say to Luca, “That’s not right. We’re on our third date, and already I’m nagging you. I am so sorry.”
“This third date is the best one yet.” He reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “It feels good to have someone looking out for me. It’s been a long time since somebody cared.”
The look of adoration on his face makes my chest ache and my eyes burn.
But then he yawns again, and I get a different feeling. Not a good one. Luca is so big and tough, which I like. Seeing him tired and vulnerable like this makes me uncomfortable.
This tired version of him isn’t the man I want. I like how safe he usually makes feel, like there’s nothing in this world that can get through his thick skin and bring him down.
“It’s getting late,” I say. “I’ll just take a cab home from here so you can go straight home and get to bed.”
“But—”
“Not another word, Mr. Five Yawns.” I reach for my purse and move to get up from the chair.
He points to his lips. I give him a kiss, thank him again for dinner, and leave. My inner voice is not happy with me.
Tina, you are being so rude. You just got up and left that beautiful man sitting alone in a restaurant. The waiter is going to think he offended his wife. And what about Luca’s feelings?
I wave down a cab in front of the restaurant and climb in without a glimpse back.
I can’t get back home fast enough.
Once I’m inside my cottage and alone again, I close all the windows and blinds.
I pull out the shoebox from the top of the closet and prepare for the ritual.
I wipe down the table, dim the lights, and take a seat.
I open the box and lay out the items, one at a time, beginning with the dried rose.
The blue dye that was used to make a white rose blue has faded away to a muddy grey. The dried petals are loose and threaten to disintegrate every time I handle it.
The flower would be nothing but garbage to anyone else who saw it, but it’s the most precious thing I own, because it reminds me that once there was a time I loved someone with everything I had, and he loved me.
But time takes away everything.
Chapter 11
Rory shows up at my place on Saturday afternoon. She lugs in enough food to cater a party of ten.
“This is way too much,” I tell her. “I’m only cooking dinner for myself and Luca.”
“Tell me more about this meal that you’re cooking, all by yourself.”
I chuckle. “Okay, fine. But just so you know, he’s a big guy, but he’s not that big.”
“Use the leftovers to make sandwiches.” She reaches into a canvas bag and pulls out what appears to be half a cow.
“Sandwiches? Sure. I’ll just use those ten loaves of bread I always keep in the house.”
“Ha ha.” She rolls her eyes.
I help her unload the other groceries, keeping an eye on the roast in case it tries to make a getaway.
There’s very little counter space in the micro-sized kitchen, so I haul the table closer for a makeshift prep area.
“What’s all this crunchy dust?” Rory asks, scowling at the table surface.
“Housekeeper’s day off,” I joke, grabbing a cloth to give it a quick wipe. The crunchy dust is from one of the dried rose petals.
After my ritual on Wednesday night, I left everything out, right up until an hour ago. Unfortunately, the sun streaming in the window degraded the rose, and two petals fell off. I’ll have to be more careful from now on.
“I have something to tell you,” Rory says.
“Oh?” I get out the cutting board and start chopping carrots.
She whispers something so softly I can’t hear it.
I turn to find her pressing her lips together tightly, her face red with effort. What is she up to?
She whispers the word again. “Panties.”
I almost laugh, but catch myself.
She says it again, louder. “Panties.”
“That’s great, Rory! You’re making so much progress. Is this from the hypnosis tapes?”
She shakes her head, no.
“Did my sister drag you to her support group?”
She shakes her head, no. She’s grinning, like this is a new game for her.
I ask, “Can you say any of the other no-no words besides panties?”