Chip smiled. “Nothing else?”
I bit my lip, then looked at Jendan, seated a few rows behind me. “Actually, it wasn’t just the money, if I think about it. After the last game, I think I lost the sense of who I was. I got wrapped up in what I thought was reality, when none of it was real in the slightest. And seeing it played back on TV made me ashamed of who I thought I was. So more than the money, I think I wanted to find myself again. I wanted to play how I should have played the first time. I wanted to make a game plan, and stick with it.”
“Well, you did,” Chip agreed. “On day one, you had a plan – get rid of Kip, and win the money. And you did both. Any regrets, looking back?”
I thought about it. I thought about the first game, when I’d been so naively stupid to chase after a guy that was using me. I thought about how much it had hurt to see myself on TV and realize that I didn’t like what I saw.
And I thought about Endurance Island: Power Players. I thought about Jendan, and how I’d constantly wondered if I was making the right choices in holding him at arm’s length. How I’d played fast, hard, and dirty…and still won the money. How I’d been able to watch every episode and say to myself, yes, that’s the real Annabelle. That’s her, with the sunburn on her girl parts, sand between her toes, eating boiled bats and gritty seaweed. That’s her voting out the guy she likes to stick to her guns. That’s her deliberately sabotaging others to get ahead…because she finally realizes it’s a game, not real life.
And that’s her with a million dollars, pride in herself, and in a relationship with the right guy.
So I smiled at Chip. “No regrets.”
** The End **