That failed to relax him. “Just so you know, I’m not afraid of him. But don’t worry. I understand. You and I can be friends in private, when you need my help, but we have to stay mere acquaintances in public. Right?”
Oh, that burned! “You need to get over yourself and stop the tantrum right now.”
His gaze narrowed on her.
“Let’s gather all the poker chips, all right?”
He blinked, a different reaction than she’d expected. “Poker chips? Do you mean we should put our cards on the table?”
“No, I don’t mean we should put our cards on the table! A new game cannot start until all the chips are off the table.” Why did he always question her about this stuff? “I’m trying to end your bad mood and start a good one, so help me out and listen.”
“Very well.” He pressed his lips together, as if to stop himself from . . . scowling? Laughing?
Whatever! “Here goes. I don’t know you outside of this messed-up situation, and I certainly don’t know how to handle whatever’s happening between us. After we’ve ditched the circus, and if you haven’t ditched me, and if you still want me, and if you don’t want someone else, ask me to work for you and my answer might be different.” Might be, but probably wouldn’t be. Not that she’d tell him that. “And I’m not embarrassed to be with you. Though I should be! You’re so foolish! I told you already, but I’ll tell you again. I won’t have you tortured simply because I like you. Why can’t you get that through your head?”
The blinking started up again, though his eyes were brightening. “You like me and hope to protect me.”
Finally! He understood. “Yes. I know staying away isn’t much, but it’s all I can do for you right now. Foolish man,” she muttered.
He looked so surprised, she knew not many people had dared to call him such an irreverent name, and that she had just proved how comfortable she’d become with him. Otherwise she wouldn’t have risked his increased ire when he clearly had no fear of her father.
Solo pondered her words for a moment, the light in those ocean blues still brightening, brightening. “If you aren’t careful, Miss Vika,” he said, “I won’t ever be able to let you go.”
She . . . had no idea how to respond. Keep her forever? Her silly mind was shouting, Yes, please.
Despite everything.
I have returned.
The familiar voice whispered through her mind, and she whipped to the right to confront the speaker. Her initial torrent of alarm subsided when she saw a tiny version of the dark-haired X perched on her shoulder. He appeared younger than before, stronger.
But never before had she seen this clearly into that other realm—while she was in another realm—and she wasn’t sure what to think.
When your father comes, and he will, do whatever is necessary to escape the cage with Solo. His mouth wasn’t moving, and yet his words reverberated inside her head. You need to leave. Now.
Liar! said Dr. E, causing her to swing to the left. He, too, was now a tiny version of himself. He appeared older than before, weaker. You know Solo will be captured. And if you’re with him, you’ll be captured, too.
A tap on her shoulder had her spinning back to Solo—who was right in front of her, concern once again radiating from him. “Are you okay?”
“D—did you see them?” she asked, rubbing her hands up and down her arms.
“See who?”
“Them.” She looked left—Dr. E was gone. She looked right—X was gone. “But . . . but . . .” Her shoulders drooped. “Never mind.”
“What did you see?” he insisted.
Twice they’d discussed that other realm, yet he’d never mentioned X or Dr. E, even though he had to know them. And he was Allorian, and somehow, during her dream that wasn’t a dream, she had appeared on Alloris. But she wasn’t going to be the one to mention their names. Solo would demand to know what they had said to her. He would agree with X, she knew he would, and then she would have to turn him down yet again. Despite the fact that she knew X was right. He was always right. But she couldn’t see a way to obey him.
“Vika.”
Forget her father. Forget the future. She threw herself into his arms. They probably wouldn’t be together much longer, and she needed to savor every moment.
He didn’t grab hold of her. She felt a vibration, knew he was speaking. “I don’t know what you’re saying. And honestly? I don’t care. If you want me to move away, sorry, because I’m staying right here. Just hold me tight and warn me if you hear anyone coming.”
Several moments ticked by before he obeyed.
A sigh of relief left her at the feel of his strength and heat enveloping her. “I vowed to do my best to find that key, and I meant it. I will. But where should I start? What if I fail?”
At the right, she heard a moan.
At the left, she heard a cackle of laughter.
Her nails sank into Solo’s chest, as if he was her only anchor in a turbulent storm. Actually, he was. Dr. E and X were still here, listening.
Warm hands cupped her cheeks, a beautiful caress she would remember all the days of her life. He lifted her chin, hope and flickers of what looked to be apprehension peering down at her. “He would keep the key close by, and it might even be something he wears every day. And you won’t fail.”
“But I’ve looked through his jewelry.”
“Look for secret compartments in his trailer. And if you get into trouble, run. Run, and never look back.”
Oh, yes. Apprehension. She could barely process the knowledge. He was putting her needs above his own. Not just for the aid she could render, but for her.
“I can’t do that, Solo.” No matter what. “I just can’t.”
His gaze searched her, drilling all the way to her soul. “Then run to me.”
She rubbed against his palm, practically purring with the warmth and pleasure of the sensation. “What would you be able to do?” she whispered. She didn’t ask to be cruel, but to point out how futile such a thing would be.
Anger suddenly overshadowed the apprehension, but his grip remained gentle. “I’ll think of something.”
That anger wasn’t directed at her, she knew, but at the circumstances. “I don’t want to get you into more trouble.”
“I can handle trouble.”
“And I can’t?”
His thumbs stroked, making her shiver. “You’ve handled too much already. And one day, you’re going to tell me everything that’s been done to you. One day you’ll have the life you deserve.”