His fault, he knew. How would you feel if I insisted you become human? she’d said. He would have hated it, felt inferior. As he’d made her feel.
If he would have kept his big mouth shut, rather than making her feel like she wasn’t good enough, just as she was, she might have entertained the notion one day. So that they could be together. Forever.
Forever, exactly what he wanted with her.
Perhaps he could fix things, he thought. She had mentioned reversing time before. Perhaps he could. Perhaps his past failure stemmed from the fact that he just hadn’t had the proper motivation. And as Ava had said, since he could manipulate time in one direction, why not all directions?
If he could reverse time, to the first day he met her, keeping the memories he had, he could change the way he’d acted, the way he’d treated her. He could make her feel special from the very beginning, so that she would be happy to become vampire, protecting herself for eternity.
He liked that idea. A lot. Only problem was, he didn’t like the thought of her not knowing him. Of waiting to kiss her and touch her until she got to know him again. Of living somewhere other than this home. Their home. And what if, by starting over, he lost his memory of her? He would do nothing different. Or would he? Would he even end up in the same place?
Hmm. Were the possible rewards worth the mounting risks?
He didn’t know. Whatever happened, he just wanted to be with her.
How he laughed at his earlier foolishness, thinking he would one day kill her to make room for someone else. There would be no killing her. Ever. He didn’t want to be set free. Didn’t want to find anyone else. Someone more suitable. He snorted. How could he ever have thought such a thing? There was no one more suitable.
She was wonderfully lusty, uninhibited, brave—perhaps too brave—determined, stubborn—perhaps too stubborn—and witty. There was no one more beautiful, both an angel and a devil. No one who could calm him from a temper with only a smile. No one who could capture his notice so thoroughly, the rest of the world fading away. No one who tasted as sweet or strengthened him so completely.
She was the other half of him, the better half, and something he hadn’t known he’d been missing until now. But … how did she feel about him? Not for one moment did he presume to think sex had changed everything and now she would want him unconditionally. That wasn’t her style. Not this woman who made him work for every scrap of affection. Work he didn’t mind. Actually enjoyed, challenged in a way he’d never been before.
If anything, she would have more demands for him. More rules—for him to break, he added with a twinge of anticipation.
He wouldn’t worry about the problems just yet, he thought. He had too much to look forward to. Namely, having her again.
McKell grinned as he, too, fell asleep.
* * *
“Wake up.” Ava shook McKell’s shoulders. Big, strong, hot shoulders. Bare, lickable. She’d squeezed and kneaded those shoulders. Scratched and pounded on them. With those thoughts, an ache only he could assuage bloomed.
Her teeth ground together. No more thinking about him that way. At least while there was work to be done. Later, though …
She shook him again, harder than she’d intended.
Nothing. No reaction.
“McKell.”
Again, nothing.
He hadn’t moved when her cell had erupted, signaling a text from Mia. He hadn’t sighed as she’d scrambled from the bed, shocked that she’d slept so long. Or at all. How many years had passed since she’d snoozed more than an hour at a time? And never that deeply.
On some soul-searing level she didn’t yet understand, she must have felt safe with him here. Knowledge that thrilled her even as it scared her. The longer they were together, the more she’d come to depend on him.
Thoughts derailing. Again. Anyway. He hadn’t made a noise while she’d showered, dug through her dressers, and found something to wear. He hadn’t peeked while she’d grunted and groaned, shimmying into the clothing. She knew because she’d been staring at his beautiful face the whole time.
Okay, his penis. She’d been staring at his penis. The covers had fallen off the bed, revealing every inch of his delectable body, but that penis hadn’t even twitched. And she’d so hoped … Not gonna think about him that way. Anyway. No twitching meant no peeking.
Had she left him in a sexual coma of bliss?
Mama liked the idea. A lot. And she liked seeing him in her bed, knowing he was surrounded by her scent. That kind of made him hers, in an undeniable, almost tangible way. Like he wore a “Property of Ava” stamp. At least for now. Until they parted. Which would happen, despite the fact that she wanted him more than she’d ever wanted anyone else, because they couldn’t meet each others’ needs. Not all the way. She couldn’t forget that fact; it was one of the reasons she had to stop thinking of him in such sexually explicit terms.
Sex equaled addiction when you placed it before duty and addiction equaled a need for more. Mmm, more …
Argh! “McKell.” Not knowing what else to do, she slapped him.
Finally. A reaction.
He blinked open his eyes and stretched his arms over his head, his muscles rippling. “What?” His voice was rough with sleep, utterly inviting.
How easy it would be to accept that invitation, crawl beside him, and curl into him. Damn, damn, damn. “Time to go to work.”
“After my nap.”
“Now. Mia sent a car for us. And why is Hellina here?”
“She’s ours now.”
Ours? Like a freaking kid they’d adopted? Together? Butterflies took flight in her stomach.
“Oh, and she’s a vampire. Don’t get too close to her.” Lids closing, he rolled to his belly. Wouldn’t you know it, his ass was perfect, even with claw marks.
And what did he mean, Hellina was a vampire? “McKell!”
“Nap. Then sex. Then work.”
First thought: Excellent plan. Second: Resist. “If you insist on staying in bed, I’ll stun you and cart your carcass to AIR myself.”
“Good. That’ll give me twenty-four hours of napping.”
Speaking of stunning and twenty-four hours, how had he come out of it so soon last time? He still hadn’t answered that question. “Napping? Ha! Think again, you lazy bum,” she said, hoping to shame him into rising. “There’s too much to do.”
He shaped the pillow over his head so he wouldn’t have to listen to her.