“You’re awake.” She leaned over him to flatten her palm against his brow. “And your fever is gone.”
The position pressed her body against his, delighting him. Then she settled back into place, ending the contact, annoying him.
“How long have I been out?” he asked, a rough quality to his voice. He took stock. He was naked, a sheet draped over his middle.
“Three days.”
Once again, he’d lost three days to his father. He remembered...fighting the Nefas and the demons, winning when the Sent Ones arrived, but not being able to flash away. Had the ability returned? He wanted to try, but didn’t want to leave Nicola. More than that, he knew it would be better to wait until he was stronger. If he failed right now, just because he was weak and hadn’t fully fought off the poison, he would waste precious time and energy fretting.
“Oh, and before I forget, Axel told me to tell you he’s been taking care of your dirty little secret in the backyard.”
His mother, he realized, his tension increasing.
“I wanted to stay as close to your side as possible and haven’t yet investigated the yard—which I totally plan to do, I won’t lie about that. So you might as well fess up and tell me what your dirty little secret is,” she said.
He’d wanted her to know. Just...not right now. He’d tell her when he was stronger. “Nothing that concerns you,” he croaked.
“You don’t trust me?” A wealth of hurt in her tone.
“I trust you more than I’ve ever trusted another, but one has nothing to do with the other.” To distract her, he said, “What have you been doing all this time?”
A moment passed. She sighed and said, “I’ve been taking care of you, entertaining your friends. Staying calm, happy. And guess what? Deep down, I knew you would heal. Just like me! I’ve been getting stronger, too. Isn’t that wonderful?”
“Wonderful,” he parroted. If she was better...
She set his hand back at his side, reached toward the nightstand and lifted a cup of water. “You talked in your sleep, you know.”
He tensed, saying, “About what?”
A gleam of sadness in her eyes as she quietly said, “About a mother who ripped out your wings and a father who tossed you into a pit of snakes. You’d told me they were awful to you, but I hadn’t imagined how bad.” She placed the straw at his lips. “Drink.”
He obeyed. He didn’t know what else to do. His stomach twisted, nearly rejecting the cool, sweet liquid trickling down his throat. Perhaps now was the time to tell her about his mother, after all.
“Why don’t I tell you something about my past?” she suggested. “That way, we’ll be even.”
Perhaps not. He nodded, intrigued, hungry for more information about her. Any information.
“Well...several years ago, my mother, father and little brother were killed by a drunk driver.”
He’d known that, but hearing the pain in her smoke-and-dreams voice affected him deeply.
“Robby wasn’t supposed to be with them that day. He was supposed to stay with me and Laila.” Guilt joined the pain. “But she wanted to go out with friends, and I wanted to tag along to make sure she didn’t get sick, so we convinced our parents to take him on their dinner date.”
“You couldn’t have known.” But she blamed herself, he thought, and it was a heavy burden to carry. One he wished he could lift from her shoulders. But he couldn’t. Only she could. And if she didn’t, if she failed, the weight would eventually crush her.
That, he knew firsthand.
“That’s just it. I did. Deep down, like with you, I had a feeling. I knew I should keep him with me. And I think Laila knew it, too. That’s why she’s like she is, so determined to live in the now and not look back. She doesn’t want to remember our part in Robby’s death.”
“And neither do you.”
“I know. For years we tried to pretend he never existed. It was easier, I think. But it was also a disservice to him, and he deserves better. I know that now.”
That might be why Koldo had found no record of Robby in the heavenly archives. What you denied down here, you lost up there.
“You must forgive yourself. Isn’t that what you told me?” Koldo reached up, the actions easier now, his strength returning bit by bit, and cupped the back of her neck. He applied pressure, tugging her toward him, but for the first time in their relationship, she resisted.
“I know you didn’t marry that girl,” she said. “Axel told me. But you told tattoo guy you’d have her, and you never lie.”
Was she jealous? He kind of hoped so. He actually liked the idea. “You’re right about my words. I said I would have her. He assumed the one I was talking about was Sirena—but I was talking about you.”
Her eyes widened. “You want to...marry me?”
Did he? No. No, he couldn’t. He was tainted, he reminded himself. “Having a woman isn’t the same as marrying one.”
“Oh,” she said, her shoulders drooping.
He pulled her the rest of the way against him. She settled atop his chest, her head finding the hollow of his neck, just the way she liked. “You’re disappointed?” Why? And why was he happy about her reaction? Did he want her to want more from him?
“Me? I’m glad things worked out.”
“Because I’m better than your other date?”
“Immensely.” She toyed with the end of his beard. “I wish I could ask you about a last date.”
“Why?”
“So I’d know how I rank.”
“I don’t need experience to tell you that. Simple observation proves you are the only one for me.”
“And just what have you observed?” At least her tone was lighter now.
“Over the centuries I’ve heard many a woman tell her friends that a man has to accept her just as she is or he doesn’t deserve her. But if she’s a lying, cheating gossipmonger, cruel to those around her, often angry, often hateful, of course he cannot accept her. He’s better off without her.”
A choking little laugh left her. “That’s a good point, but the same is true for men.”
“Yes.”
“So...how do you know I’m none of those things?”
Was she serious? “I’ve watched you interact with your sister, always placing her needs above your own. You’ve spent time with Axel, but haven’t killed him—a feat for anyone. And the way you are with me...kind, caring, sweet, thoughtful, helpful, considerate, compassionate, loving—”