I couldn't take my eyes from her pizza, torn. "Because it won't ever come again," I finished, guilt tugging at me. I was not going to lie to her. "Don't eat the pizza."
She hesitated. Jenks was watching us, and I made a small finger motion as he oversaw his kids fighting over the crust to get the one with the most sauce. Wings humming, his dust shifted to a brilliant yellow.
"What does everyone want to drink?" I said softly, turning on a heel to vanish into the kitchen. Quen's eyes bore into my back. He couldn't have possibly heard me warn Ivy, but he wasn't oblivious to her alertness, either. My heart pounded. I didn't want my friends dead, but I wouldn't lie to them. Ivy would follow. We could talk in the kitchen. The truth was going to hurt, but a lie would be worse.
"Ivy, can I speak to you and Jenks for a moment?" Quen said, and my pace faltered.
Maybe not . . .
"They're helping me with the drinks," I shouted. "Quen, watch Nick, will you?"
My heart thudded as I walked from the noisy throng, but the kitchen was welcomingly cool, and I put a hand to my face, not sure what I was going to say as they followed me in, clearly curious. Frustrated, I turned my back on the small window over the sink.
"Okay, what the hell is wrong with the Turn-blasted pizza?" Jenks said, an unsure green dust sifting from him like an underwater sunbeam. "I'm starving here!"
I thought about what Quen said, and then how they trusted me, not just to have their back, but to not stab them in it, either. "Quen . . ." I started, then threw my hands up, my heart thudding. "He charmed it. I don't want you coming with Quen and me tonight. Either of you. Okay?"
"Oh, but elf boy out there is good enough, huh?" Jenks said, his voice virulent.
He was dusting a silver green I'd never seen before, and I came forward, pleading with my eyes. "Jenks, we both know it's too cold for you. Ivy, as much as I want you there-"
She shook her head, feeling her throat as if remembering how easily Newt had pinned her. "I'm not any help, am I?"
It really wasn't a question, and I felt awful. "You are," I pleaded. "Just . . ."
"Just not tonight," she finished. "It's okay," she said around a sigh, her gaze distant, as if looking at the future. I couldn't tell if she saw me there or not.
"It's not okay," I said softly. "It stinks." Jenks was dusting a sour green in the corner, as far from me as he could get. He looked capable and ready, but I knew he would freeze tonight, and so did he. "This isn't what I wanted," I whispered, and his dust flashed silver, even as he refused to look at me.
"But this is where you are," Ivy said, and my shoulders eased. "Go with Quen. I'll watch Nick. All of us will," she said, her voice hard with warning and Jenks clattered his wings at her. "He'll be here when you get back, dead or alive."
I was smiling, though something was dying in me. "You guys are too good to me."
"Only because you made me so," Ivy said, her eyes glinting with unshed tears.
The weirdest feeling of anticipation filled me, seeing them both there in my kitchen, willing to let me go, knowing that I could do this, and trusting me. "Oh my God," I said, eyes swimming. "You are going to make me cry!" I sniffed, then moved about the kitchen, gathering everything up that I wanted to take-magnetic chalk, pain charms-it wasn't much, and I stifled a swift pang of worry. I snatched my cell phone at the last moment, tucking it in a back pocket after making sure it was on vibrate.
"Ivy!" Quen shouted from the living room. "Get back out here and watch Nick, or I'm going to kill him myself!"
I smiled, giving Ivy a hug as Jenks hovered over both of us. "When I get back, we are all going to go out and do some serious vigilante work."
"Ivy!" Quen bellowed. "I'm counting to three!" He couldn't leave Nick, and he didn't want to trust himself to bring him back to the kitchen.
"Thanks. For everything," I said, and Ivy touched my arm before she turned and left the room. My smile slowly faded as I looked at Jenks, who was dripping an angry dust. It still felt like good-bye, but that was okay now.
"See you at sunrise," he said, then turned, almost flying into Quen, the elf irate stomping into the kitchen.
The two of us alone, Quen stared at me, and I shrugged. "I'm not going to lie to them," I said, and his eyes narrowed.
"They'll follow us," he started, and I shook my head, not looking down the hallway to the bright sanctuary as I patted my pocket to be sure I had the rings and went into the back living room for my coat, hesitating until I remembered I had left it on the porch to air out.
"No, they won't," I said over my shoulder, feeling almost relaxed. Ivy and Jenks would wait for me. I wasn't losing them at all. "You're just mad that you don't have an excuse to do your charm."
"A little, yes," he complained as he followed me out. "Did something happen to the sanctity of your church again?"
My eye twitched. "Newt broke it so she could look in my closet." Again.
"Oh."
The night air was almost a slap as I opened the door, the soft breathing of the wind taking me by surprise. My coat was frigid as I jammed my arms into the sleeves, and Quen watched as I shoved everything but my chalk into a pocket. "No splat gun?"
Snapping the chalk in two, I wedged a piece into each boot. "He can burst the charms in the hopper and put me out in three seconds," I said, having downed Lee that way once-before we had come to an understanding. "It's your elven charms that are going to hold him, sweetheart. You up to it?"
"Sweetheart?" he muttered, and I turned to the graveyard with its glowing gargoyle eyes. Feeling good for some reason, I started down the stairs, boots clumping until I realized he wasn't following me. I frowned when he took a small, hourglass-shaped charm from his pocket and hung it on the nail the Christmas wreath had rested on. It was the first level of protection every home, be it Inderland or human, had, but we didn't have one up right now.
"Hey!" I exclaimed when he pulled the pin from the intricately detailed charm made to look like a wineglass pouring into another, and a shimmering wave of gold and black rose. Great leathery wings opened in the graveyard, and I shivered, thinking that it was like the demons of hell had come to life and were here to drag me to eternal torture for betraying my friends.
"You didn't lie to them," Quen said as I fumed. "I'm not going to risk Nick escaping."