Zach's eyes went to the door when Hoc and Jason entered, Hoc's nails snapping on the dusty wood. Grace didn't look at either of them, shaking not from fear, but anger. She wasn't going to lie to gain entrance into the elite. Jason could suck eggs and die. They all could.
"You are a limp-dick, rude little boy," she said, hands on her hips. "I could have taken you in standing up, walking beside me free and unfettered to learn how to control the gifts that the universe gave you, but no. You have to go and try to kill me." She leaned over him. "I'm going to personally see that you get every last erg-sensitive synapse burned out of your thick skull."
White faced, Zach scrambled up and put his back to the wall. His eyes darted to the three-story drop out the window, then to Jason standing at the door. Jason sighed, making her face burn. Telling an unregistered throw what his or her fate was before the formal trial was a mistake, but she wanted Jason to know she thought he was scum. She would not lie for them.
"Grace . . ." Jason pleaded.
"Go screw yourself," she snarled. "Both of you." Hoc slunk to hide behind Grace, knowing she was unhappy. Ticked, Grace felt the small of her back, thinking a massage might be in order after she visited Boyd and told him how scummy the elite were, drowning their joined sorrows in pretending both their worlds weren't collapsing. She had thought the Strand was beautiful, pure. But it was as corrupt as everything else in the world.
"You. Out," she demanded, her head pounding when she spun a wad of energy out of her cells and shoved it into her hand to make the air around it glow like St. Elmo's fire.
Zach's eyes widened. His shoulders slumping, he edged past Jason. Jason reached out to grab his arm, and Zach spun, making Hoc yip and skitter sideways. There was a flash of silver, and Jason grabbed Zach's hand now pressed into his side, the knife in his fist already deep in Jason's ribs. "You'll have to kill me to take me in!" the kid shouted. "You're all brainwashed bastards!"
Shocked, Grace reached out, and Jason screamed as Zach flooded him with another burst of energy, the knife sunk deep into him and bypassing his grounding cloth.
"No!" Grace cried, yanking Zach off Jason. Her hands burned as she flung him across the room, hearing him hit the floor as she struggled under Jason's weight, trying to get him to the floor. The clatter of the knife was loud, and Hoc's nails scraped as he ran to stand over it, snarling.
"Jason!" she shouted, cradling his head. "Oh my God, Jason!"
Wincing up at her, Jason pressed his hand into his side. "The little bastard stabbed me to get past my grounding. It's okay. He cauterized it trying to burn me." His brows furrowed. "Ow."
He was okay! The thought sang in her, and she looked at him, not caring if he knew how afraid she'd been. "Are you sure?" she asked, her first thought spinning into the hundred other ways you could die from a knife wound.
Jason sat up, shifting his hand until the flow gushed. His face went white, and he pressed it back, Grace's hand atop his. "Uhhh . . . It's not as cauterized as I thought." His eyes went behind her, and worry bunched his eyebrows.
Hand still on his, Grace turned. Hoc was standing over the knife, but he wasn't growling anymore. Zach was slumped against the wall, his legs twisted at an unusual angle, his chest utterly unmoving.
"Oh shit." She hesitated, not wanting to leave Jason, and the soldier sat up, wincing as he pushed her to go to him. Cold, Grace almost crawled across the dirty floor. In a calm panic, she felt for a pulse, pulling Zach onto his back when she found none. Her hand sticky and red with Jason's blood, she hammered at his chest, one, two, three times. Felt for a pulse. Listened for a breath than never came.
"Damn it, I didn't give him enough to stop his heart!" she cried, her own doubt keeping her head down as she searched for a pulse. "Did I?" Eyes wide, she looked across the dirty room to Jason.
Expression pained, he stared at her. Panicking, she looked back at Zach, the color already draining from his face "Shit, shit, shit!" she whispered as she looked to make sure that she wasn't touching him, and pushed her sleeves up, preparing to shock him back to life as she had Hoc.
"Grace, wait!" Jason said, and she jumped when his hand hit her shoulder and she spun to see him standing over her, listing somewhat with his hand pressed to his side. "It's too late. Grace, it's too late!"
"No, it isn't!" She hadn't meant to kill him. Had she? The brat had killed her dog, ruined her partner's career. Tried to kill her. Stabbed the one man she had thought she could love . . .
"Stop!"
Hand pressed into his side, Jason stood across from Zach, pity in his eyes. "Listen to his ergs. He's gone. I think I did it, Grace. It was me, not you. He was dead before you pulled him off me."
Grace fell back on her heels, staring up at him, wanting to believe but knowing Zach had been alive when she'd pulled him off Jason.
"I killed him." Jason couldn't look at her. "It's my job, fighting hand to hand. It was instinct. I'm sorry."
His head came up, and she felt like he had kicked her in the gut. Was he lying?
"This was my fault." He shifted his bloody hand to gauge the bleeding, pressed it back, and leaned against the wall. "Can you call me an ambulance? I don't feel so good and I think the car's shorted out for good."
Numb, Grace felt for her phone, having to make the call three times before the link would hold long enough. Her balance was off. They wouldn't let her ride in the ambulance if she couldn't master it between now and then.
"It wasn't your fault," he whispered as he sank to the floor, propped up against the wall. "It was mine. You saved my life. Please come and work with me so I have the chance to save your life in return, huh? I'll never live this down. Stabbed by a damn kid."
She closed the phone, her fingers shaking. Zach was dead on the floor, his face going as pale as Jason's. "I can't," she said, but not for the reason he thought.
"Why?" he whispered, wincing as his fingers moved, and she looked away, going to the window to look for the ambulance.
Because I love you, and I will kill for you. I don't want to be that person.
But she couldn't say it aloud.
FOUR
The sun was bright, and Grace squinted as she strode toward the Strand's tower. She felt alone without Hoc, but taking him back into the hospital to visit Boyd would make her stand out, and standing out was the last thing she wanted today. She was depressed, her failure with Zach weighing heavily on her. They hadn't allowed her into the room when they told his mother what had happened, but she'd been down the hall and heard her anguish. Every word the woman had said was true. It was a shitty place to be.