I knew how this had to begin, and so I told him how sorry I was for all I'd done that had made him so miserable. I confessed.
"I am so sorry, Shemayah," I said.
His cries grew loud. They grew huge in the little room. But he had no words. He slumped forward. He rocked back and forth.
"Shemayah, I have here the contract for her marriage," I said. "It's all done properly and right, and she'll be married to Reuben of Cana. It's here, Shemayah, it's written."
He groped with his left hand, gently batting at the paper, gently pushing the contract away, and then he turned blindly to me, and I felt his heavy arm go around my neck. He wept on my shoulder.
Chapter Eighteen
IT WAS AN HOUR perhaps before I left him. I brought back the marriage contract and put it in the chest. No one noticed.
Jason was there, and the Rabbi - they were on their feet and so were most of my brothers - and they were all talking excitedly.
"Where have you been!" cried my mother, and then it seemed I was surrounded by anxious faces. There was the rustling of parchment, Jason shaking my shoulder.
"Jason, let me be tonight, please," I said. "I'm sleepy, and I want nothing but to go to bed. Whatever it is, can't we talk about this tomorrow?"
"Oh, but you must hear this," said my mother. "Little Mary," she said. "Go, call Avigail."
I started to ask what I must hear, what was so important that Avigail should be woken up and brought in, but they told me all at once in broken phrases.
"Letters," said my mother. "Letters you must hear."
"Letters," said the Rabbi, "letters from Capernaum, from your cousin, John bar Zebedee, and from your sister, Little Salome."
"The rider just brought the mail," Jason declared. "I have a letter. My uncle has a letter. Letters have come to people up one side of the hill and down the other. Listen, you must hear all this. By tomorrow and the next day, all Galilee will know these things."
I sank down in my usual corner.
Joseph was awake, seated straight against the wall, watching the others keenly.
"This news is from Jerusalem," said Jason, "and the letter to my uncle, it's from Tiberias."
Avigail, sleepy and concerned, had come into the room and sat down with Little Mary.
James held up his letter for me to see. "From John bar Zebedee, our cousin," he said. "And this is for all of us . . . and for you."
The Rabbi turned, and took the letter from James.
"Please, James," he said, "may I read it because he is the one who's seen these things, your young cousin."
James at once gave the letter over to him. Joses handed James the lamp and he held it high so the Rabbi could read by the light of it.
The letter was in Greek. The Rabbi hurried through the salutation:
" 'This I must make known to you all and you must give this word especially to my cousin Yeshua bar Joseph and not rest until he has heard this.
" 'Our kinsman, John bar Zechariah, has come out of the wilderness and to the Jordan and makes his way northward towards the Sea of Galilee. He is baptizing all those who are coming out to him. He is wearing only a coat of camel skin and a leather girdle, and he's lived in the wilderness on nothing but the meat of locusts and wild honey. Now he is saying to all, "I am the voice of one crying in the wilderness, Make straight the way of the Lord." And "Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand." And all are coming to him, coming from Jerusalem and Jericho and the towns northward and down from the sea. And these he baptizes as they confess their sins. And this is what John has said to those Pharisees who've come forward to question him. "No, I am not the Christ. Nor am I the prophet. I baptize with water; but after me comes One mightier than I, whose sandals I'm not worthy to carry for Him; He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit, and with fire. He is among you, but you do not know who He is." ' " The Rabbi paused, then read on. " 'This I've seen with my own eyes, and I ask you, my kindred, again to convey these words to Yeshua bar Joseph, as I return now to the Jordan, John bar Zebedee.' "
The Rabbi lowered the stiff parchment and looked at me and at Joseph, and at Jason.
"They're going to him by the hundreds," said Jason. "From all the towns up and down the river, from the Holy City and back. The Priests and the Pharisees have gone out to him."
"But what does it mean," my uncle Cleopas asked, "that he baptizes for the forgiveness of sins? When has anyone done such a thing? Does he do this as a Priest, as was his father?"
"No," said the Rabbi. "I do not think that he does do it as a Priest." He gave the letter back to James.
"Listen to this," said Jason. "This is what he's said to the Pharisees and the Sadducees who went out from Jerusalem to question him." He read from his letter, " ' "You are a generation of vipers, and who warned you to flee from the wrath to come? Bring forth fruits of repentance before you come to me. And don't think to say to yourselves or each other, We have Abraham for our father. For I say to you that God is able to take these stones here and raise up from them sons of Abraham." ' "
Jason stopped and looked at me. He looked at Joseph and then back to the Rabbi.
My brother Joses spoke up. "But what can it mean? Is he declaring with the Essenes that the Temple is impure, that the sin offerings there don't matter?"
"He's moving now north into Perea," said Jason. "I'm going there. I want to see this new thing for myself."
"And will you be baptized? Will you do this rite for the forgiveness of sins?" asked the Rabbi softly. "Will you do this?"
"I will do it if it seems right to do it," Jason declared.
"But what can it mean, one man baptizing another, or a woman for that matter?" asked my aunt Esther. "What does it mean? Are we not all Jews? Are we not purified when we come out of the baths and enter the Temple Courts? Not even the proselytes are bathed for the forgiveness of sins, are they? Is he saying to us all that we must be proselytes?"
I stood up.
"I'm going," I said.
"We're all going with you," said Joseph. Immediately my mother said the same. All my brothers nodded.
My mother handed me the letter she had from my sister, Little Salome. My eyes fell on the words "from Bethsaida, from Capernaum."
Old Bruria spoke up. "I want to make this journey. We'll take this child with us," she said, putting her arm around Avigail.