But the city would be in a crippling toxic state. Though I was not intimately familiar with the effects of a nuclear bomb, I could guess that what was left was sure to challenge Julian’s healing capabilities for at least a few days.
He’d never make it all the way.
I ran down the tunnel after him, but he was fast. Faster than me. I’d never catch him.
I could feel Caden’s presence at my back as I tailed Julian a mile through the mine, over rickety cart tracks, through a half-submerged spot, all the way until a faint light appeared at the tunnel’s exit.
“Julian! Stop!” I shrieked, wanting him to stay with us, sure that once he escaped the mine, he was as good as gone.
To my surprise, he stopped.
I almost stumbled to slow down before I plowed into his back. He didn’t turn, he didn’t acknowledge me. He simply stopped.
“Julian …”
“She might have gotten out.”
I wanted to agree with him. But the sooner we faced reality, the better for all of us. “I’m so sorry, Julian.”
His head dipped. “I wish I’d never met her.”
“You don’t mean that.”
After a pause. “I know. I don’t. It’s just …” His voice cracked. “It hurts so much. I didn’t know it could hurt this much.”
Of all of us, Julian had lost the most. First his parents—two shameless criminals who deserved it, but nonetheless—and then his sister, Valentina, whose only mistake was stepping foot into the atrium, giving the witch Ursula a chance to possess her body.
And now, Amelie.
Caden stood silently behind me as I reached out to wrap my arms around Julian’s sides, folding my hands together at his chest. Whatever I was feeling myself was no doubt nothing compared to the sickness churning inside my friend right now. So acute, my body hummed with his devastation. Like a dark rot coursing through my limbs, I wanted to stem the flow to keep it from poisoning any more. Reroute it until it folded into itself and vanished.
I wanted to heal Julian.
That same energy deep within my core since my transformation bubbled and roiled with anticipation, the same quiet energy that came to life with Dixon and with that little boy, now sparked again.
I let it consume me, intrinsically knowing that it was the right thing to do.
I visualized that agony in Julian shrinking, shying away from me like a cockroach skitters with a beam of light to hide within the recesses. To remain out of sight. Out of mind.
I stood in silence, my arms still around him, my head resting against his shoulder blade, feeling the tension slide from his body.
“What …” Julian’s voice drifted off as he turned to me. “What did you do to me?”
“I think I just … healed you?” Even saying the words felt impossible.
Behind me, Caden muttered faintly. “What?” I was so in tune with my own thoughts, I pushed his voice out. I had just healed Julian. It wasn’t enough that I could heal physical wounds. I could rescue people from the crippling emotional heartache too! Even Sofie wasn’t capable of doing that! I knew because she’d tried for Bishop and ended up having to rely on the Fates. That had proven disastrous.
How was I doing this!
“I think you did. I mean,” Julian paused, his eyes squinting, “I still know she’s gone. I still miss her but …,” he inhaled deeply and then exhaled, “that agonizing pain just disappeared.” Pausing again, his face twisted with displeasure. “I’m supposed to suffer. This is like I don’t—”
“But we all know you do, Julian,” I interrupted him. “Remember Bishop and how distraught he was after? It was dangerous for him to be in that state. Just as it’s dangerous for you to be in that state right now. We need you to keep it together, and if that means using magic—” I gasped at my own words.
Magic. That’s what this had to be. Of course it was! But how? And why would the Fates give me magic? What were they up to?
A strong hand around my bicep tugged me back until I was facing a stern-looking Caden. “The compelling is one thing but this … What the hell is going on, Evie?”
“Magic.” How else did I explain it? With the facts. I described the events of the night. When I was finished, Caden stared blankly at me.
And then he swore under his breath.
“What?”
He shook his head. “Why? Why would the Fates give you this kind of magic?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“What does this mean?”
“I don’t know.”
“Is it going to hurt you somehow?”
“I don’t know!” I yelled. I was sure they were all rhetorical because I would have no better idea what the fates were up to than Caden would. Still, knowing there was something off was one thing. Having someone else fuss about it was entirely different.
Caden slid down the wall to the floor, his hands pushed through his hair. “I’m sorry. It’s just … Amelie’s gone. I can’t lose you too.”
She was. And if Viggo had reached his first target—Caden—then I would be the one who wanted to die. I would never admit it to anyone, but a part of me felt such relief—and then near-crippling guilt.
But Caden needed my attention now. Turning to Julian, I took his hand and said very clearly, “You can’t go running off. You need to stay here.”
“I won’t,” he promised. “For now anyway.” I couldn’t tell if I’d just compelled him to say that or if it was of his own volition, but I believed him. He was calmer. Stable. Enough to be left alone anyway. He looked down the tunnel. “I’m going to find Max and the others. But, Evangeline …” His brow furrowed. “I can’t be around her anymore. Not after this. Not after how she lied to us.”
I didn’t need to ask whom he was talking about.
I dipped my head because in truth, I didn’t know what else to do. I hadn’t wrapped my mind around our new reality. How could I be around her if this was true? How could I ever trust her again?
“Sorry for earlier.” Julian gave Caden’s shoulder a gentle slap as he passed and then, he slowly wandered back toward the haulage tunnel.
Even without focusing on Caden, I could feel the raw pain swirling around him, like a windstorm, and my instincts urged me to fix it. Because I could. Dropping to my knees, I reached forward to place my hand over his chest. I closed my eyes as I focused on the turmoil, letting the heat build inside me.
A cool hand clasped my fingers. “No.” The single word pulled my eyes open. “I need to feel this right now.” He pulled me into him, his forehead pressed against my temple. “Please, just … stay here with me.” His voice turned hoarse as he pleaded, “Just stay with me for a minute.”
“I’ll stay as long as you want.”
I did. Forehead to forehead, we sat in the silent darkness. The minutes turned into hours. And I had to fight hard not to save him from his pain.
*
“There’s only one person who can figure out what’s going on with you.”
“Sofie,” I said, letting Caden pull me to my feet. Even her name pricked at my heart. I felt like I’d lost her. In a sense, I had. I’d certainly lost the version that I’d come to love like a mother.
“Sofie,” Caden echoed. Then he cursed. His jade eyes, cold and severe, stared down the tunnel. “I’m done with her, Evie. I know she’s a big part of your life but after what she just pulled, I can’t be near her. Not now. I don’t know if ever. I’ll end up snapping her neck at least once a day.”
That was two important people—people I couldn’t see myself living without—ready to ostracize Sofie. I imagined there were at least two more sitting in the haulage tunnel. Maybe even a werebeast.
“No, you’re right,” I said. “I don’t know if it’s Mage who’s made her so heartless or just the impossible situation that we’re in, but it’ll be a long time before I can ever forgive her for doing that. Maybe distancing ourselves is the right move.” Since the night I stumbled into her café in Portland, I’d been under her spell. Literally, but also figuratively. She’d always had my best interests at heart, even when I didn’t know it.
But had we reached the point where it was time to say goodbye?
Caden sighed heavily. “We need to know what’s going on with you, and Sofie seems to be the only one who can ever figure these things out.”
I shrugged. “Maybe we don’t need to know. Maybe we just take what I can do as a blessing and move on.”
“Unless it’s something that can kill you.”
It wouldn’t be the first time the Fates had turned me into a ticking time bomb. In fact, every time their magic touched me, it seemed to come with an expiration date. First with the pendant, and then with the Death Tribe’s magic.
Caden fell silent for a moment, before switching gears and grabbing my waist to pull me into him. “I’m so sorry about earlier. I know you never would’ve been a part of that.”
“No, never.” I pulled his bowed head into the crook of my neck. “I really was just coming in with Julian to find Amelie. And Sofie lied to me. She looked directly in my eyes and she lied. How could she do that?”
Buried against me, he laid a gentle kiss. “Remember, way back when, I told you that our kind was not to be trusted? It’s our nature. She thought she was doing the right thing.”
I dared ask, “Do you think it worked?”
“I think …” He pulled away from me, his beautiful face a sculpture of grief, his lips pursed, as if the words he was about to say were going to cause him physical pain. “I think we lost the day we left Ratheus.” My eyes closed, not willing to face the guilt in his. “We will never win, Evangeline. It’s only a matter of delaying the inevitable.”
“And do you think we delayed the inevitable?” I hazarded.
“We won’t know until we go in and see.” His fingertips grazed my cheek slowly. “If we go in and see.”
What would be our other option? Walking away? “I don’t see how we can’t, Caden. We just dropped a nuclear bomb on our own country! We’ve turned the world upside down! We can’t jump ship now. What kind of chain reaction did we just cause? Plus, you know Julian needs that closure. I think the rest of us do too. We’ve come this far, and even if we don’t agree with Sofie’s methods, we need to just finish off the fledglings so we can move on. Maybe that can be the silver lining to losing Amelie.” It was so hard to see anything positive in what had happened. Even my small miracles—the little boy in the car, healing Julian’s anguish—were meaningless. Upward of eight million people had just perished.
Including that little boy, I was sure. What was the point in saving him at all? So he could have several hours to feel the consuming loss of the two people who loved him most? I should’ve just let him go.
“I’ll do whatever you want, but you’re not leaving my side for another second.”
Whatever I wanted. This was a change from the norm. I was always the one asking what we should be doing and Caden was always the one wanting to protect me from danger. Now, though, Caden was looking to me to make a decision.
It wasn’t a matter of want but rather need. “We go to New York as soon as it’s safe enough, kill the last of the fledglings, and then …” A deep furrow zagged across my forehead.
“And then we leave. We get the hell away from this,” he finished softly, his frown matching my own. “From her.”
“What if she did the right thing, Caden?”
“The right thing would’ve been staying out of the city in the first place,” he said. “We should’ve just blown it up right away. Then at least we’d all be alive. And Viggo would be dead.”
Viggo. I shuddered at the thought.
“I know.” Caden’s arms wrapped around to my back, his mouth finding the edge of my jaw.
“And he’s targeting you to hurt me,” I said. If he succeeded …
“It’s never going to happen because we now know he’s out there and we’re going to kill him first.” I almost believed him.
“I don’t know why he bothers. He has Veronique. Why doesn’t he just run?”
“Because he has nothing left to lose. Nothing to love. She’ll never love him.” When his gaze lifted to mine, there was a momentary sheen over his eyes. It was gone in a blink. “We have everything to lose. We have someone to love.”
A conflicting mix of happiness and fear blossomed inside. Caden was mine, forever. And forever truly meant … forever.
Suddenly he was pulling me into another tight hug. “I’m so relieved that you came with Julian into the city. If you hadn’t …”