Amelie, Bishop, and Fiona’s eyes darted between Caden and me. “You knew about this?” Amelie’s raspy voice was full of shock.
I took a deep breath. “I lied,” I began. She turned, her angelic face crestfallen, the brightness in her eyes fading. “Not about taking you back!” I quickly added. “Before, when I told you that I couldn’t take you back, I lied.”
“So you can?” Amelie’s emerald eyes began glowing eagerly again.
“Sort of …” My eyes darted to Caden, looking for help. He turned away, jaw clenched and eyes closed.
“Well, which is it?” Amelie cried in frustration.
“That’s the tricky part. I don’t know exactly how to do it.”
“So all that stuff about the portal was a lie?” Bishop said slowly and evenly.
“No! That was true! Sofie said there’s no use in looking for it, though. We’ll never find it that way, she said. But … there’s more.” I paused, dreading this part. “I don’t know how many of you I can bring back. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”
“But … there’s hope?” Amelie began pacing. “Maybe you can bring us all back?”
“Yes! Maybe. I mean, Sofie thinks I can.” A lie. A little white lie but a lie all the same. One I prayed would never be proven wrong.
“Bring us all back so we can kill you when we get there?” Caden leaned against the cave wall, his expression blank, his voice flat.
“We won’t kill her, Caden!” Amelie glared at her brother.
“My sister, the eternal optimist,” Caden sneered. “And if she’s wrong, you’re the one who pays.” He pushed himself off the wall and turned, his back to me now like a slap to my face.
My eyes roamed the group, studying expressions full of optimism, shock, angst, and horror as they silently played the situation through in their heads. There was a long pause, then chaos erupted. Amelie and Fiona began giggling and hopping around like sugar–high children, hugging each other. Bishop grabbed me and repeatedly tossed me into the air until I was sure I would puke.
I looked over to where Caden stood calmly, seemingly apathetic to the prospect of leaving Ratheus. Or leaving with me, that paranoid part of me whispered.
“So what’s the plan?” Amelie asked when she and Fiona took a break from bounding around.
I shrugged. “Sofie said to wait and, when the time was right, we would find the portal. It needs to be soon, though.”
“Why?” Caden quickly asked.
I explained the curse’s warped sense of time.
“Are you saying that if we don’t figure this problem out soon, you’ll die?” Caden asked, his voice still unnaturally calm, that unreadable expression on his face.
I nodded. He averted his gaze to the floor again.
“Is there any chance that the portal is out there in the woods?” Bishop asked.
I shrugged again. “Sofie doesn’t think so, but I guess it wouldn’t hurt to search, right?”
“We’ll have some of our pets check things out,” Bishop agreed. “It wouldn’t take them long. It will stretch our perimeter guard, but we should be okay.”
“Okay, so what do we do in the meantime?” Amelie asked.
I turned to Caden. “Can you take me to the place where the Merth grows again?” I asked softly. “Sofie needs it.”
“Sure. Anything for Sofie.” The sarcasm was impossible to miss. He disappeared down the tunnel, carefully avoiding my eyes.
Sending Rachel away hadn’t changed anything, I thought bitterly.
“We can’t go in there. It’s too painful for us weak little girls,” Amelie explained with an apologetic smile. She and Fiona stood on the ledge by the waterfall.
“And you’ll have to pick it yourself. Merth only has to touch us to make us flop like rag dolls,” Bishop added, squeezing my shoulder.
“That’s okay.” I smiled, glancing over to see Caden approaching us. He had vanished for a brief time while we were gathering the mountain bags and I was changing into my wet suit.
He stopped in front of me. “Let’s get this over with. I hate being near this wretched stuff.” He picked me up as he had the other day. I buried my face in his chest again, only this time the awkwardness was unbearable.
We were through the waterfall and standing beside the sea of Merth in seconds. I looked up at Caden and Bishop’s faces. As much as they tried to disguise it, they couldn’t hide the pain in their eyes. They each trailed behind me with a canvas bag, careful not to make contact with the swaying cords as I hastily yanked the delicate strands of Merth and stuffed them in the bags.
“These are too pretty to pull out,” I murmured.
“Pretty enough to sedate an army of vampires,” Bishop responded wryly.
There’re only three vampires I want to sedate, I thought as I worked. Funny; Sofie didn’t make that list. Maybe I was crazy after all.
Both bags—the one I’d brought tonight and the one from before—were filled in no time. There was still a sea of silver growing. Enough to fill a hundred of these bags if I needed to …
A shout from Bishop made me turn in time to see Caden crumpling into a patch of Merth. I gasped, recalling his description as I realized one of the strands had grazed his leg: A thousand razors cutting into his flesh. I ran to him and grabbed hold of his arm, pulling with every ounce of strength I had. Somehow I got him out.
Dropping to my knees, I cradled his head in my lap. “Are you okay?” I asked, pleading.
His eyelids flickered open. He gazed up at me.
“Caden?”
Silence followed—seconds that felt like hours—then I felt a hand on the back of my head. Caden pulled me down to kiss me.
And then he abruptly broke off, murmuring, “Sorry.” He was on his feet and moving away from me in a flash. “I got caught up in the moment. I didn’t mean to do it.”
“No, of course,” I said, scrambling to my feet. I glanced around for Bishop. He had vanished. I looked back to Caden, and my heart went cold. His jaw was taut, his full lips pressed tightly together, and torture was alive in his eyes. “It’s okay. I know! You just want to be friends. Go ahead! Say it!” I fought tears but they escaped anyway. I furiously rubbed them away.
Unexpected amusement flashed in his brilliant green eyes. “You want me to lie to you?”
19. The Cover, Uncovered
I frowned, confused by his answer. Why would he be …
Caden suddenly appeared in front of me, wrapping his arms around my body, pulling me toward him, his chin resting on my head. “It’s been hell, waiting for you all week,” he murmured, easing his grip enough that he could lean down and press his forehead against mine. “I hated leaving things that way. I wanted to explain …”
I couldn’t breathe, even when I consciously reminded myself that I needed to. The Caden from before was back, the Caden I didn’t ever want to be apart from again. But what did he mean? “Can you explain now?” I heard myself ask, grudgingly pulling far enough away to look up at him. “I mean, why were you … like that earlier?”
Caden laughed. Cupping my face with his hands, he sighed. “Because of you,” he said.
I stared hard at him, my brow furrowing. “I don’t get it.”
He kept staring intensely at me. “That’s why I’m with Rachel … because of you.” Caden chuckled. “You’re looking at me like I have two heads again,” he murmured, pulling me close to him, his sculpted chest against my cheek.
“That makes no sense,” I mumbled, genuinely confused.
“Amelie was right. You are oblivious.”
I scowled.
Caden exhaled noisily, pushing me away so I could look into his eyes again. They searched my face, touching on every detail, memorizing every line. “That first night you arrived here, on Ratheus, I had just come back from New Shore for the first time in hundreds of years. I was going to report Jethro for having Merth. I’m no rat, but it was either that or start a war with him, one that would surely cause death on both sides. I couldn’t risk losing any of these three, especially my sister.
“The Council hears grievances on occasion, as their way of governing society—it’s a circus show, really. Entertainment. Anyway, it was at the Council meeting that I first met Rachel. They would have laughed me out of there, possibly killed me, if she hadn’t spoken up, saying she would personally investigate the matter. I believed her. Stupid, right? So I led her back to that small cave we were in that first night.
“It wasn’t until we were sitting in our cave that she told me I was her soul mate and she had to have me.” He shuddered. “The feelings weren’t mutual, believe me. I was looking for a diplomatic way to let her down when Amelie showed up, you in her arms. It all happened so fast. Rachel saw you and, realizing what you were, demanded we take you back to the Council. She’s ancient—I don’t even know how old—and therefore impossibly strong. We could have fought her, maybe killed her, but one of us would have died in the struggle. Or she could have escaped, running back to the Council to tell them before we had the chance to catch her. She’s even faster than Bishop, and he’s the fastest of us.”
Caden paused to Rachel’s eyed narrowed push a strand of hair away from my face. “So I did the only thing I could think of to stop her. I pretended to love her and used that to my advantage.” He shuddered again. “I convinced her that we needed to hide you. It worked like a charm … except for one small problem,” he murmured, softly running the back of his hand along my cheek. “The only thing more deadly than a hungry vampire is a jealous vampire. Rachel is a narcissist. She wouldn’t even consider the idea that I’m deceiving her—that in truth I’m disgusted by her. But she’s also terribly suspicious. If she even suspected for a second that my thoughts and feelings were with someone else …”
I felt the nervous flutter in my stomach as I heard him say those words but I quickly reprimanded myself, sure that I was reading too much into it. He had to be talking about someone else. I remained silent.
“That night you were bitten … if she had ever found out what had happened, she would have torn through me to get to you.”
“But you had no other choice,” I said defensively.
He chuckled to himself. “I suppose not,” he whispered, looking at me strangely. “That’s why I was so cold to you today. It’s getting so much harder to pretend. I was afraid she’d see right through me.” He pushed my hair away from my face then, those gorgeous jade eyes gazing adoringly at me. “I knew … the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew.” His hands slid down my arms to twine his fingers with mine. He pulled my hands behind my back, forcing me closer to him.
Butterflies the size of bats began madly flapping around in my stomach, flying at warp speed. Am I imagining things? I swallowed. Is this impossibly beautiful man telling me what I think he is? “So that means you’re not with Rachel, right? You don’t love her, after all,” I whispered, needing to hear him say it.
“No, not her. I don’t love her.” He buried his face in my neck, inhaling deeply. “I thought you would have figured it out by now. I promised myself I wouldn’t tell you anything, for your sake. It’s safer to keep you in the dark, given Rachel, with you being human, with you being from another world …” he went on, naming all the obvious obstacles. “But that’s not possible anymore,” he said, pulling away to gaze down at me again, his face solemn, “with you attacking me that morning and all.”
“I didn’t attack you,” I stammered, embarrassed.
The corners of Caden’s mouth twitched. He’s teasing. “I don’t know what came over me,” I admitted sheepishly.
“And I thought you were reserved,” he quipped.
We stood there, silently staring at each other. The urge to lean forward and “attack” him again became unbearable. But I wasn’t going to initiate it this time. So I stood there, trembling in anticipation.
He let out a loud sigh and dropped my hands to slowly back away from me. “I shouldn’t be doing this.” He dipped his head to study the ground. When it lifted again, his face had gone stony. “I meant what I said about you and I being impossible, but I wanted you to understand why.”
My mind was reeling with the sudden change in direction. “What … what does that mean?”
Caden heaved another resigned sigh and leaned against the cave wall. “It means we continue doing what we’ve been doing, pretending this conversation didn’t happen. That these feelings don’t exist.”
“Why? What do you mean? I can’t sit around and watch you being pawed by that she–devil!” I said, my eyes narrowed with incredulity. How could he even suggest such a thing?