“You scared me. I didn’t hear you come in,” she said, dropping the recipe and turning around to kiss me.
“Probably the fact that you have the radio so loud the neighbors can hear it,” I replied.
She laughed, then grabbed the remote to the stereo system and cut it off. “Sorry. It helps me think. What are you doing here? I didn’t think you would get home until eight. I was just now starting on dinner.”
I leaned back on the counter and brought her with me to stand between my legs. “I decided the study session could suck it. I wanted to take my girl out tonight. I missed you.”
She gave me that sexy smile I had been in love with from the first moment she flashed it at me. “I thought I gave you some extra loving this morning to keep you happy through the day.”
The blowjob I had woken up to had been fantastic. “Baby, all that did was have me thinking about this sweet mouth all day,” I told her, leaning in to kiss her.
She wrapped her arms around my neck and sank into the kiss too. If I let this go on too long, we would end up stripping na**d in the damn kitchen. Lately we were doing it all over the house.
I broke the kiss. “What do you say? You want to go out with me and get some dinner? You can order dessert, and then we can come back and you can give me my dessert.”
Her eyes flashed. She knew what I wanted for desert. “Okay. Yes. This recipe is too complicated, anyway.”
I took a nibble of her neck, then stepped away. “Let’s go.”
She smirked at me. “You know I’m not dressed to go anywhere. I need at least thirty minutes.”
“Jess, seriously, baby, you can’t be any more beautiful. If you pretty this up any more than it already is, I’m going to end up in a fight tonight because some stupid f**ker is looking at my woman.”
She laughed and slapped my arm. “You’re so full of crap. I’ll be quick.”
I watched as she hurried to the bedroom.
***
It took her thirty-six minutes, but seeing her all fixed up and feeling good about herself was well worth it. She was glowing, and I loved that. Jess woke up beautiful. She didn’t have to do anything to make herself breathtaking. But it made her feel good about herself. That was what mattered.
The past couple of months she was acting different. I knew she was supposed to be emotional, but she seemed like she was trying to hold on to me. Like she had to work extra hard or something. Like with cooking me meals. That was the beginning of it. Now we were ha**ng s*x like rabbits.
As much as I loved the fact that she would drop to her knees and start sucking my c**k at any moment, it bothered me that she was doing it. Before, our sex life had been good. No, it had been incredible. But lately she was desperate about it. Like she was trying to fulfill every fantasy I’d ever had.
When I tried to talk to her about it, she either distracted me with sex or she started talking about something else entirely. And although I had a cleaner come in and clean the place three times a week, Jess was also cleaning. Something was wrong with her. I just needed to figure out what.
I thought about calling her mom, but I didn’t know if she’d have any insight on this. She wasn’t living here with us, and she didn’t see what Jess was doing. Plus, telling her mom that she was suddenly sucking my dick all the time didn’t seem appropriate either.
I had to figure this out on my own.
I wanted Jess happy. Not trying to make me happy. She made me happy by breathing. I didn’t need her to become Martha Stewart with a naughty side. I liked Jess just as she was.
The waiter at the Italian place I knew Jess loved seated us at a table. She had tried to tell me she wanted to go eat Thai food. That was a lie. I was the one who loved Thai food. Once again she was trying to give me what she thought I wanted. This was getting out of hand.
Her eyes lit up as she took the menu and started reading it. That was what made me happy. Seeing my pregnant fiancée drooling over food. She was craving things. I knew she was, but she wouldn’t tell me. I would come home and she would have gone and bought strange items she never used to eat.
“I want you to order three things. Eat what you want and we’ll take home the leftovers for you to enjoy for the rest of the week, in case you crave it and I’m not there.”
Jess glanced up at me from her menu. “How did you know I was trying to decide between three things?”
I smirked. “Because you’re mine and I know you. The ricotta and Grana Padano gnocchi, pesto lasagna, and cannelloni are always hard for you to choose between. Just get all three.”
Jess pressed her lips together and closed her menu. “Fine, then. Read my mind. I guess I’m predictable.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “Jess, you are anything but predictable. And I love that about you.”
She tilted her head as she looked at me. “Really?” Like she didn’t believe that I loved that.
Jess didn’t normally need reassurance like this. Another new thing that bothered me.
“Jess,” I said, leaning on the table and closer to her. “I adore everything about you. You shouldn’t question that by now.”
She beamed at me and looked like she let out a sigh of relief.
“Jason, what’s up? Hardly see you off campus,” Jamieson Kennedy said as he stopped beside our table. He glanced at Jess, and I could see the glint of appreciation in his eyes. It was something I was learning to deal with. Jess was beautiful, and men would always notice.
“I’ve got better things to do when class is over,” I told him with a smirk, then winked at Jess.
“Jason, hello. We missed you at study group last night,” Vivian Northrop said as she walked up beside Jamieson. They were on-again off-again and had been for years. That social circle, they seemed to inbreed and keep dating just each other. It was weird and boring. Vivian, however, liked to remind me we had once slept together. Not something I ever thought about until I worried that she was going to bring it up. Especially in front of Jess.
“Vivian. You both have met Jess,” I said, nodding toward Jess as she suddenly looked like she would rather be anywhere else.
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were still together. I thought . . .” Vivian was elbowed by Jamieson and they both put on those fake smiles I hated.
“You thought what?” I asked her, annoyed now. Because I made it very clear I was with Jess and brought her up regularly.
She waved it off like it was nothing. “I just haven’t seen you around outside of classes, and I assumed you were in a serious relationship.”
Scowling, I reminded myself that she was just a bitch. “I am in a serious relationship. I’m engaged,” I told her, and reached for Jess’s hand and covered it with mine. “To Jess.”
Vivian acted shocked as she looked at Jess, then turned her head. “Oh, well, I’m sure your mother is thrilled,” she said. “I’ll see you later, Jason.” Then she walked off.
Jamieson shrugged. “That’s just Viv. You know how she is,” he said, making an excuse for her.
“Yeah, I know,” I replied.
When he walked off, I looked over at Jess, who was staring down at her lap. I squeezed her hand. “Hey, don’t get upset over that. Vivian is a grade-A bitch. She’s uptight and likes to say things that make her feel better about herself.”
Jess only nodded. Then I saw her take a deep breath as she lifted her head to look at me. “It’s okay. I’m used to this by now.” The small smile she was forcing didn’t fool me.
“Is that what is bothering you? The elitist ass**les around here? Because none of them matter. Nothing they do or say matters.”
She sighed and glanced away, looking out over the dining room. “I know. It’s okay.”
No, it wasn’t okay. “Jess,” I started, but then the server walked up.
I let Jess place her order. She only ordered the lasagna. So I ordered what I wanted, and her other two choices boxed up to go. I wasn’t letting Vivian freaking Northrop ruin Jess’s dinner.
Jess
When lunchtime came the next day, I was really thankful that Jason had ordered my other two favorite dishes the night before. I put a little of both on a plate and heated them up. I had a hard time going to sleep last night. Once I had finally fallen asleep I slept so hard that I hadn’t woken up when Jason left this morning. He had gotten up and made his own coffee, and left without even a kiss from me.
It had ruined my morning. I worried over not being what he needed. What I thought would make him happy. Last night he’d been determined to go eat at my favorite restaurant and, in the end, I had wished so hard we were eating Thai. Running into those uppity people who saw me as less than them had taken away my appetite. I hadn’t wanted to eat.
Under Jason’s watchful and concerned eyes, I had forced it down. Or at least half of it. I couldn’t do more than that.
At some point Jason would realize what he’s done. I was just sitting here, waiting on him to figure it out. He is brilliant and going to do big things. What could I do? Make clothes? Who wants me to make them clothes? No one. That’s who.
I sank down on the sofa with my plate of food and rubbed my stomach. We were going to be parents while Jason still went to his Ivy League college. Soon there would be diapers and sleepless nights and hardly any time for sex. How soon would it be before some girl in one of his classes took away all his stress and met his needs?
My appetite vanished again. I set my plate down and stood back up. I shouldn’t have been eating all those carbs. I was going to get fat. I needed to go for a walk instead. I had to have my perfect body so that when our baby was sleeping, I could keep Jason interested in me.
Would we be married then? Jason hadn’t talked about setting a date. When he proposed to me, I hadn’t been pregnant. Now that I was, he didn’t seem really excited about making a wedding happen. Which was not helping me feel safe in this relationship. I wanted to go see my momma. Talk to her about all this. She’d make me feel better. Being around people who didn’t look down their noses at me would be a nice change.
My cell phone rang just as I was lacing up my tennis shoes. It was Jason. I pressed it to my ear. “Hey, you,” I said, trying to sound happy.
“Hey, baby. You slept good. I liked seeing you all curled up in bed like an angel this morning.” His voice made me smile.
“I’m sorry I didn’t wake up to tell you bye.”
“Don’t be. I liked leaving you tucked in and resting. I was just heading to lunch, and I know you have Italian food in the fridge, but I thought you might want to come to the campus and eat with me.”
I looked down at my leggings and off-the-shoulder shirt I was wearing. No makeup and my hair was in a ponytail. “Right now?” I asked, hoping he’d say, No, in half an hour.
“Yeah, sorry it’s late notice, but a meeting with a professor was canceled and I realized I’d have time to eat today.”
I wanted to see him. And I didn’t want to turn him down. “I don’t look great. I was about to go walking. I’m in my workout clothes.”
Jason chuckled. “Noted. But, baby, you look gorgeous no matter what you’re wearing. Come eat with me. Please.”
The Vivians of Harvard were going to love this. I was going to give them something to make fun of for weeks. Maybe months. “Okay, I’ll head that way now.”
“I’ll wait for you in the courtyard outside the main cafeteria.”
Great.
***
The whole way there I prepared myself for all the preppy, skinny girls who’d look at me like I was a bug that needed to be squashed.
But seeing Jason’s smiling face when I rounded the corner to the courtyard made it all not matter. He beamed at me and started walking toward me with purpose. When we reached each other, he grabbed my face and kissed me hard. It was a claiming kind of kiss he liked to do in public. It made me feel special and loved.
When he pulled back, I heard a catcall and a whistle. Someone else told us to get a room. Jason was oblivious to all of them. “Hey, baby,” he whispered, then pressed one more kiss to my mouth. “Come on. Let’s go eat.”
His arm slid around my back as we walked to the cafeteria. I felt eyes on me as we stepped inside. But I didn’t focus on any of them.
“They have lasagna today, but I don’t think it will compare to last night’s. But the chicken parmesan is good. I think you’ll like that.”
“Sounds good. I trust you,” I told him.
He led me over to a table and pulled out a chair for me. “Wait here. I’ll go get the food. They don’t have your soda, but they have Sprite. You want that?”
I nodded and smiled up at him.
He winked, then headed to get in line.
I was the only pregnant girl here. I didn’t have to look around to know. The girls who got into school here didn’t get knocked up.
The chair beside me moved, and a guy sat down with his gaze directed at my chest. “This seat taken?” he asked.