I wasn’t that guy anymore. “I do with her,” I replied, then dropped my keys on the table and walked toward the kitchen. I had made Blythe coffee and walked her to her car this morning. I made her promise to wake me up when she got up and she had. Seeing her first thing in the morning was even better than I imagined. Green was not going to ruin this for me. I had held her sleepy body against me and kissed her face.
“Not done talking,” he called out after me.
“Nothing to talk about,” I replied, grabbing the coffeepot to pour myself a cup. I was exhausted, but I had some things to handle today. First thing was Britt. She had called and texted me fifteen f**king times last night before I’d had to turn my phone off. I hadn’t wanted Blythe to see that. Britt needed to know I was unavailable, to back the hell off and go find another booty call.
“Are you in love with her? Just answer me that. Because if that’s it, I get it. But if this is some insane obsession you’ve got, then you need help. Because the way you’re acting is whack”
“I love her. She fills the void. She’s my soul.”
Green leaned against the doorframe of the kitchen and stared at me. I turned back to my coffee and took a sip. He had wanted to know. Fine. Now he knew. Nothing was going to be the same. I was different, and I never wanted to go back.
“Well, I’ll be goddamned,” he muttered.
“Probably,” I agreed, and smiled at him over my coffee cup.
He laughed. “Fucker.”
Banging on our door almost caused me to spill my coffee. Green froze then glanced back at the door. “What the hell? You piss your sister off again?” he grumbled, then headed for the door. Setting my cup down, I followed him. I hadn’t done anything to bring Trisha beating on my door again. That couldn’t be her.
He jerked the door open, and Britt came barreling past him with a tear-streaked face and wild eyes. “You!” She pointed at me. “I called you over and over, you motherfucker! I left you messages, damn you. Did you listen to any of them? Or were you too busy with your shiny new toy?”
“Oh, shit,” Green said, and stepped away from Britt as she flung her arms around, yelling.
“Shoulda took the hint,” I replied, annoyed that she was causing such a scene. We were never a f**king couple. She was easy and she wasn’t clingy. This shit was not okay.
‘Took the hint?” she spit. “Took the f**king hint? Are you kidding me?” she continued yelling.
“It’s early, babe. Could you bring it down a notch or ten?” Green said from the spot across the room he had moved to.
She held her hand up as if to block him out. “Don’t act like I am crazy. Don’t look at me with that stupid annoyed glare. Do not treat me that way. I never asked anything of you. You were Krit freaking Corbin. I was lucky you f**ked me more than once. I knew that, and I was pathetic enough to take what I could get. But now you think you can toss me out and ignore my calls. That’s not gonna fly this time, ass**le. You finally f**ked up.” Her yelling had turned to a cold, calculating tone. She took a step toward me then she placed a hand on her stomach. “You got me pregnant. Now it’s time to grow up.”
Fear was too weak of a word. Unadulterated terror was more like it. I was having a nightmare. This wasn’t really happening. Not now. Not now. “No!” I roared, slamming my fist into the wall and glaring at the woman standing between me and the only thing I wanted in the world.
“That condom that broke two months ago? Remember that? I’ve not slept with anyone but you in two months. Just you. Face it. You’re gonna be a daddy, Krit Corbin.” The pleased tone in her voice made me want to grab her around the neck and squeeze until she couldn’t breathe. She was reveling in this. I hated her.
“Get her away from me,” I snarled, moving from her. I was going to snap if she didn’t shut up. I didn’t hit women. I never had. But the terror clawing at me had me wanting to destroy everything in my path. I picked up a lamp and slung it across the room, then turned back to look at Green. “Get. Her. Away. From. Me.”
He moved, his eye wide. The pain I saw reflected there was more than I could handle. He knew it too. He knew what this meant. Fuck! No! I had to fix it. I had to save myself. If I lost her . . .
My legs gave out as the door behind me closed. I wrapped my arms around myself and held on. Everything was there in my hands. My world. My heart. My soul. Blythe held it all. She was all I wanted.
And I would lose her.
A sob tore from my chest, and I threw my head back and cried for the first time since I was nine years old and my mother had told me I was her biggest mistake.
Chapter Twenty
BLYTHE
The familiar white bag entered the room before Linc did. He stuck his head around the corner and held it up higher. “So, this is my peace offering for running off the other day.”
Laughing, I put the phone down. I had been going to call the florist and do the orders that Pastor Keenan had laid on my desk for a funeral. “Accepted only if there’s cream in that doughnut and sprinkles on top,” I said.
He stepped inside and put his hand on his chest and let out a dramatic sigh. “I got one of every kind so I’m good.” He set the bag in front of me and sat down on the edge of my desk like he always did. “I might have had a small attack of jealousy. I had no reason to, and I realize that. It’s a guy thing, and I’m working through my male traits. Hoping I can get them under control.”
He was joking. The twinkle in his eyes was enough to make this easy. “Glad you’re working on those problems. Dealing with male issues can be tough. Good luck.”
Linc laughed and opened the bag and pulled out a jelly doughnut. “I was a jerk. But I missed you, so here I am.”
I took the doughnut, but I knew I had to be honest with him. He was funny and I liked him as a friend only. If that was what this was, then great. But I was in love with Krit. Friendship was all Linc and I would ever have. Some small talk and laughs over doughnuts on my snack break.
“You and the rocker still going strong?” he asked, trying to sound casual. The tightness when he said rocker gave him away.
Sighing, I set the doughnut down. “Yeah. It’s an exclusive thing now.”
Linc nodded. “Smart guy. Can’t blame him.” Then he glanced down at the doughnut. “Eat the doughnut, Blythe.”
Picking it back up, I took a bite. He had brought it to me, and I needed to at least eat his gift. Even if I wasn’t sure if Krit would be okay with Linc being here. Which was something I should probably talk to him about.
“He gonna be good with us being friends still?” Linc asked, keeping that easy smile that didn’t really meet his eyes.
I wanted to say sure. But that would be a lie. I had no idea how he would feel. Krit was possessive. Seriously possessive. He’d shoved a guy last night when he had walked me back to Trisha’s table and the guy had gotten too close to me. The guy hadn’t even been looking at me. I loved feeling protected and wanted that much. I loved being special and belonging to someone. Belonging to Krit. But Linc was nice to me. He didn’t deserve for me just to stop speaking to him. I wasn’t sure Krit would agree, though.
“I am taking your silence as a no,” Linc said.
I glanced up at him and shrugged. “I’m not sure,” I replied honestly.
Linc frowned. “Is he worth that? Being controlled?”
He didn’t get it. “He doesn’t control me. You don’t get it. But yes, he is worth that.”
Linc sighed and stood up. “You’re naive, Blythe. A guy like Krit isn’t your prince charming. He’s exciting, and I’m sure he knows all the right things to say. But he’s gonna hurt you. Don’t let yourself get too attached.”
I was beyond attached, but that didn’t matter. Linc didn’t understand what I had with Krit. He hadn’t seen the way Krit held me, like I was precious and breakable and all his.
After Linc left, I managed to eat two more doughnuts and finish all the typing I had been given. Tonight there was another Live Bay show, and Krit wanted me there. I was anxious to get home.
* * *
When I parked outside the apartment, I had wanted to run up the stairs. He would be there, waiting on me. And we would do things.
Opening my door, I scanned the room and locked my gaze on Krit as he stood by the window, looking out. He didn’t turn around to see me, but I knew he had heard me. This wasn’t the welcome I had been expecting. Not after last night. Not after this morning when he had kissed me at the car like he never wanted to let me go.
“Krit?” I asked, feeling fear slowly creep in. Had he decided today that he was already bored with me?
He turned slowly, and his eyes looked hollow. The light in them that I loved was gone. Something was horribly wrong. I dropped my purse to the floor and hurried over to him. “What’s wrong?” I asked grabbing his arm. My heart pounded in my chest. He was in pain. The flash in his eyes told me this wasn’t about being ready to move on. “Please, you’re scaring me. What happened?”
His gaze fell to my hand grabbing onto him, and he moved his hand to cover mine. The warmth helped ease my fear some, but my chest hurt because he was hurting. “Please, what can I do?” I asked, hating seeing him like this.
“Don’t leave me,” he said finally. His voice was hoarse.
I shook my head, confused. “I’m not planning on it. Is that what this is about?” Surely he wasn’t upset over something that hadn’t happened.
“If you leave me, I can’t . . . Just please tell me you won’t leave me,” he pleaded. This time his eyes showed some life in them.
“I’m not. Stop this. Please, I was just at work. I’m not even late. I don’t understand,” I said, reaching up to cup his handsome face. It was covered in stubble today. He hadn’t shaved. He rarely went without shaving. I liked the rough feel under my hands.
He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply as I touched him. There was something more. This wasn’t normal.
“I messed up,” he choked out.
A sick knot settled in my stomach. Oh god. Had he been with someone else today? Was this what I was up against with him? Did he still crave other women? My hands fell away, but I didn’t move. I couldn’t breathe just yet though.
“Before you. She . . . Britt . . . I slept with her on and off. Just when she showed up and I was in the mood. We never dated. I don’t date. But Britt was comfortable.”
I stepped back. He had slept with her. Oh God, I was going to be sick. “You slept with her? Today? After—”
He moved fast, cutting off my words, and grabbed me. “No! God No! Blythe, No! Never. I would never touch anyone else now. I don’t want to touch anyone but you. Just you, love. Just you,” he said as his body trembled.
That hadn’t been what he was going to say. The nausea faded, and I nodded. I had jumped to conclusions. Linc’s words had gotten to me, and I hadn’t realized it until just now. “Then what did you mess up?” I asked.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Or at least tried to. It was shaky, and he seemed completely terrified. My instinct to protect him was back, and I wrapped my arms around his waist. “Tell me,” I said.
“Britt is pregnant. She says it’s mine,” His jaw tensed, and his tortured gaze locked with mine.
She was pregnant. He had gotten a girl pregnant. He was going to be a father. How did I handle this? Why was he asking me not to leave him? Did he not believe her? “Are you sure it’s yours?” I asked, unable to look at him.
“The condom broke about two months ago. I didn’t even think about her getting pregnant. I thought she was on the f**king pill. I got myself checked to make sure I didn’t get anything from her, but that was it.”
I didn’t have any words. I needed to think. I had to process this.
“Blythe, please, don’t pull away from me. Please, don’t. I can’t lose you. I can’t.” He was begging, and I hated hearing the pain in his voice. But this time I couldn’t be there to defend him and protect him. I was going to have to protect me.
“I just need some time to think,” I managed to say. I was numb. I was alone again. This time it would be worse. I knew what it felt like to belong to someone. Before, I had been blissfully ignorant.
“No. No, you’re closing me out. God, baby, don’t do this. Don’t close me out. Stay with me. Listen to me. I love you. I love you so much.”
I jerked as if I had been slapped. The pain his words caused was as sharp as a knife going through my chest. Not now. I couldn’t hear those words now. My entire life I had wanted nothing more than to hear someone tell me they loved me. I had been afraid to hope for it, and now, in the darkest moment of my life, those words were finally spoken. Shaking my head, I backed away from him.